Standing Up For Yourself

BEAT THE BULLIES

Bullying is ugly and it happens more than you realise. You'll probably think back to that bigger kid at school as the last time you felt it but it comes in many forms. It can be from groups of people, your boss, government agencies, even people closest to you like your parents/children or husband/wife. It's really not nice when you are on the receiving end and if left un-challenged, can really wear you down and destroy your self-esteem/confidence to the point of no return. Bullies favour the weaker push-over, so to win - you have to stand up to them.

My First Time
I was quite popular at junior school. It was a decent school and I got on with pretty much everyone that I can remember. There were the odd occasions where I'd had to stand up to a bit of abuse but it was usually handled by a teacher and never amounted to much. It was only when I attended senior (secondary) school that the real bullying took place. It was evident that the differences in backgrounds from the many kids - some of them from tough areas of London, were able to handle a lot more abuse than the soft-skinned types like myself. When you're a 13 year old boy, you're going through a lot of changes physically, mentally & emotionally. One minute you're playing on your BMX bike - then suddenly, you're faced with making decisions for making the switch from boy to man.

My switch happened almost overnight. I'd been a studious kid and my grades were good, so I sat with the other kids that were willing to learn. This put me on the receiving end of some unwanted attention from the back of the class, from some of the kids that were known to be bullies. Suddenly, I was in the cross fire of one particular boy, aptly named Damien. He used to punch, trip, kick, spit on and generally hassle myself and the other bookie/studious types. Coming from a family of five older brothers and being about six months older, meant he was a lot tougher and bigger. One day, he'd been particularly savage with his antics and the 'camel back-breaking' moment came after a cowardly punch in my kidneys. I'll never forget the feeling as I turned, grabbed him by the throat, pushed him over a desk and punched him in the eye in front of the whole class. While I don't condone violence - this was likely the only retort to work with this abusive kid. He was so shocked that I'd retaliated with such force, that he took ages to register what had happened. Once he'd come back to his senses and witnessed everyone looking on, he regained some composure and threatened to 'kill' me. But as I stared back at him, looking squarely in his newly blackened eye, I could already see, his power over me had gone.

Standing Tall
If we do nothing to stand up to our bullies, they will take over our lives. They will drain your power and erase your self-confidence. From the day after facing my fear of standing up to the bully, my stature changed. I grew. I became respected. I became powerful and the bully shrank away. He lost his influence to stike fear in others and ended up being one of the bullied himself. I hope he finally addressed his insecurities and grew strong again, learning from his experience and using his new powers to help rather than hinder others going forward.

Career Off Track
I now find I'm in a similar situation with a career change looming. I'm fearful of the future but excited for what it may bring. I'm holding in my core that feeling I had when I turned to face my demon and will relish the power I'll have after tackling it face-on.