Being able to associate in and with successful circles lies at the core of personal success. Having positive and influential people in our lives can help us to realise our own potential. Being mis-aligned in and with groups that ultimately want to see failure from us - in order to keep aligned with their own failures and missed opportunities for success, will keep us from ever reaching our goals.
The connections we can make through social media - commenting/contributing to debate and also reaching out to the extended circles in the group plus attending seminars/talks from these visionaries, to further immerse ourselves, will ensure we are closer-aligned with other great, inspirational thinkers. This will help propel us into the limelight, where we become part of the zeitgeist where our life purpose has the potential to be recognised in ourselves and by others as it takes significant form.
The game of life is a tactical role play game with an element of luck thrown in. And just like reality - it can be played out in a fantasy realm like those found in Dungeons & Dragons adventures.
To play this game, one must work out what their game character is by answering an extensive set of character-defining questions. Then, based on some real psychological foundations, these characters and their skills are analysed to understand their role fitting within the game's fantasy alignments. I never played these games at school - in fact, I picked on the kids that did. I wish I'd never done that but bully or be bullied was how you survived. So, I missed out on something that seems a lot of fun and very creative to play and although I had nobody to play it with, I took the character test.
Chaotic Neutral Human Sorcerer (6th Level)
Very interesting. It's the truthful answers I gave and the resulting character's game characteristics that seem to have spurred me on to look at some inspiring topics that I would not have searched for otherwise. Consequently, the game has weirdly helped to show me a bit more of my likely character traits but also reflected in a real world situation. This fantasy game has helped me embark on a worthy mission, resulting in me signing two political petitions, donating money to a worthy cause, sharing some important videos/messages that need to be heard by EVERYONE and inspired me to embark on a quest of discovery. Hence, I've since been taking important political decisions on topics I feel passionate about. And I had never thought about politics at all before now - or about getting involved myself so enthusiastically before taking this fantasy test.
The creator of Dungeons & Dragons, Gary Cygax, was a real visionary in game role play. I would never have believed doing the Character test would have motivated me in the real world - but playing games IS key to playing life - just as I've realised before now. So, although this test was for a game scenario, these character descriptions have in some strange way, prompted me to consider what my place in society is and encouraged me to look at some of the issues we're facing with our battles in the non-fantasy world.
It can be a frustrating, uncomfortable and unsettling predicament to be in. Being stuck in limbo land. Searching for life's calling, having a mission or purpose and not just feeling like we're wandering though life without any real meaning is a daily quest.
Many don't ever address it. Many must really feel it, being caught up in the hamster wheel. Work, eat, sleep, repeat. It can gnaw away at us more than the daily wonderings will do on our search for 'what am I?'. This needn't be the case. We have a life's calling and we just need to put ourselves in the right state of mind to find it.
Having a purpose-driven and meaningful life is something we can all embrace if we allow it to happen. Taking positive steps to get on the right path, will lead us to discovery. It may take many years to realise the benefits of our life mission. To find and live out our true realities can be an evolutionary process. It takes patience. But, merely knowing that you're embarked on this mission is all that's needed to help bring about the very changes in ourselves that we seek to achieve.
Thinking more positively about how we can better influence our decisions in order to bring about beneficial change, will place significantly more value on every interaction we make. Because we all have a meaningful place in life. Every person we connect with, every single action - everything has an affect on those we touch. Cause and effect. These actions determine our role and the reactions, in turn - define us.
We're on the very edges of a new world order. The sun will set and either this new dawn will rise on a bleak and broken world or a revolution in how the masses take back control, will see a brighter future. How long can we continue to ignore the facts? The power of the corporations motivated by greed are motivating our politicians to sell us out.
The few people that are standing against these forces have thankfully been working so hard to inform the masses, that finally, the message is reaching a wider audience and people like me, who have shunned politics (I have never voted) are now listening and wanting to take action.
It's not that I don't care what is happening in the world, it's just that I haven't really been conscious to what's going on, it's just I've felt powerless to change it. Distracted and dis-associated are what the majority are no more. How easy it's been to just switch off to corruption going on in the USA. The UK has it's share of bumbling politicians but surely there's a rule of law to stop any underhand goings on, right? Evidently not. This is all inter-connected on a global scale as the TTIP - a trade agreement with America and Europe, will allow corporations to take over our basic necessities like healthcare by taking control away from the people and even less control for our failing government. The NHS has already been broken up and sold. Everyone needs to watch this film, Sell Off to better understand/learn where this is all going wrong.
Getting Political
It's difficult for me or anyone else who is feeling helpless at changing the status quo, to want to get involved. This TTIP agreement and NHS sell-off is all going ahead and there's no way to stop it. Wrong. We all need to get politically involved and signing petitions is one good way to start off. Communities are finally pulling together like never before, to protect their families and their way of life. They are getting more organised through using the internet to spread the message to the masses and holding peaceful protests against some of the government's initiatives - some of which it is very clear to observe and understand from just watching, reading and learning a little bit on the issues we absolutely have to make a stand on - that these politicians, pressured by the corporations, are not acting in our best interests (but seemingly for self benefit) and neither do they even understand what these interests are. Corporations have no soul and it's share prices that motivate these faceless monsters to potentially ruin our planet. There has to be a better way.
The very real concerns centred around the use of fracking, has helped to convince thousands of apathetic non-objectors, to come out in their droves and stand up for humanity. This serious issue, which has ruined Australian and American communities, has in turn, been a conduit for those now aware, to make further investigations into and around TTIP, the irresponsible management of toxic waste and opened the doors of perception for many of the country's population to realise the negative impacts.
This state of affairs isn't just for the swampy's of the world. I can see that Swampy (real name Daniel Hooper) has kinda got it right by moving to a hippy community in Wales - where there's a real shift towards permaculture. Even Happy Monday's Bez has been a real force in promoting a self-sustaining way of life in our inner cities too. It's a shame that Daniel, originally from a middle class family in Newbury, isn't prepared to be more active in the current political arena as I believe he still has a responsibility to show support for the communities that are fighting against the drilling corporations being backed by our government today. These people making a stand, are just like you and me - not a fringe alternative group that the majority jeered at for holding up the 8 mile extension to the A30 in Devon back in 1996.
What I believe so many people have missed out on since past elections, is having a party that represents the people and the people's interests. Unfortunately, we only have the parties to choose from that receive the most backing - and the motives for backing these parties is largely for financial gain. We have those with money wanting more which are affecting those without money getting less.
Making What's Important Normal
What needs to happen first are changes in people's priorities about what's important. Once these are established, the changes will start to happen. Moving away from selfish gains of financial wealth to buy useless commodities towards 'Dragon Dreaming' projects for using sustainable energy, living and home-grown pollutant-free foods. Self reliant communities are cropping up more as permaculture is seen to be the answer to the current problems facing the world. We need to get this power into the hands of the people. It is not just the question of if - it's when - we just need to create the political motivation to make it happen one by one.
Take a sec to look up from your screens for a few moments and have a think about this. We're getting distracted from what's really important. We have TV, newspapers, bill boards, internet and a constant bombardment from our smart phones, pumping us with meaningless rubbish and trivia so as to keep us occupied and away from thinking and doing what's important - and that doesn't include doing your status updates on FB...
I stood squashed on a busy train today, no book to read or blog to write. I just immersed myself in my thoughts. I'm really trying get back to that mind state that used to be easier to access, the one where we could have a stilled mind from which clarity of thought brought ideas and raised a mental picture of what could be. But it's becoming increasingly difficult to find the silence and be away from distractions if I'm going to try and visualise where I would like to be in ten years time - which is certainly not on this sweaty train!
All around me were people on their smart phones and tablets. Some playing games, some reading news stories and others appeared to be either checking or adding to social media. The rest were reading the trashy Metro newspaper and the odd few, staring blankly into space.
I had my sunglasses on - a cheap pair of John Carpenter's They Live 'Hoffman' sunnies that I bought for a bit of a nostalgia trip. There's some pretty stylish expensive ones out there too. I love that 80's film and John Carpenter is a favourite director of mine, but the message it gives is very clear. We need to get some clarity on the situation and this is even more relevant today than it was back in the 80's. We're on the consumerism and mass control track again...
We're so much better connected these days, yet most are ignorant and unwilling to deal with the very real truth that we're being hoodwinked by the smart and focussed elite and their minions trying to take all the money. This situation is not gonna get any better. So rather than playing Candy Crush, watching cute animal videos, checking celebrity twitter feeds - or whatever it is that you choose to burn valuable time with, we need to kick the distractions and focus on making some changes. Positive use of time like improving ourselves physically/mentally, helping others to make their lives better, supporting our families, educating our children (not just dropping them off at school either) and taking a more active role in sustaining the rule of law and balance of power.
Beacon Of Truth
I know I've been in the depths of crazy doomsday blogs and websites for the last couple of days and this theme has cropped up a few times before too, but it's no coincidence that I've been stumbling on these topics as more are tuning in to what's going on all around us.
Technology is replacing our brains for storing/retrieving memory and stopping us having deeper thinking. I for one am not as in love with my iPhone and the technology as I once was. It's mostly used as a book shelf, writing and note taking tool that I can use as a communication device from time to time. The very fact that we can be completely tracked in our movements, all our search history and preferences stored, right down to the time we spend on each page or section thereof and buying trends mapped so we're targeted with even more advertising and marketing distractions - fills me with dread.
I crave some silence these days. I never want an iWatch and won't be switching on the new iBeaconaccess when it starts to roll out in the stores. I'm also mindful that certain agencies are tracking our search history and any written material that we've produced stays on the internet forever - so forget trying to back-track what you wrote. Projects like Truthy are set to psycho-analysis what it is you we're really trying to say - potentially like a thought police if this info gets the hands of the secret services, which it very likely will do.
Bottom line is this; we've been bamboozled with what this technology can do, and we're already on the roller-coaster, but we still have a choice to switch off our TV's, tablets and smart phones. We don't have to read that trashy newspaper either. Take a minute or two away from distractions, look up and get some clarity on what's really going on around you while you've been absent.
TAKING IT EASY
There comes a point where we have to look at ourselves in the mirror and be realistic to the fact we're not getting any younger. The days of feeling invincible have passed. Try as I might to deceive myself - I'm approaching a mid-life point where it's inevitable that I will get worn out if I keep the 25 year old's lifestyle going like I have been. Burning the candle at both ends and partying like an irresponsible 40yr old can take it's toll and that's why I'm having some time out to take it easy.
Missing out on the fun
I'm telling myself this today, because this time last year I was already on my second day of fun at the Glastonbury festival. So, I'm justifying to myself that it's better being at home this year - but really I'd like to be jumping around in a large Somerset field with 200,000 revellers!
I've been lucky to have this 6 month period of looking after myself. The days of waking and feeling refreshed have far outweighed the tired and hungover ones felt in 2015 so far. So while it would have been fun at a festival this weekend, I recognise it's been a full-on few years of over-revving the engine. I never thought I'd admit it, but it's been a good decision taking my foot off the gas. I've never coasted in the slow lane in my life before. Maybe it's a maturity thing, or maybe I know that there's always another party to be had just around the next corner...!
THE ENERGY RACE
Delving deeper into some of the discussions on 'conspiracy theories' has taken me even further into the rabbit hole over these last couple of days. Some of the finds - things I've stumbled on before, plus new discoveries that I hadn't, have thrown up some amazing examples of technology that we've been testing & developing over the last 50 years, some of which is (officially or unofficially) in active use today.
The Power Struggle
The research and race to find better, more powerful weapons has been going on since the beginning of civilisation. In warfare, the invention and use of tools & the technologies they draw from also
potentially benefit us as advances are made for improving quality of live. As we've gained more knowledge of how to harness the laws of the universe - particularly around the middle of the 20th century with the advent of atomic physics entering the war arena, powerful weapons that could easily destroy mankind have also lead to gains, ie. atomic energy.
From the end of the second world war, it's been a race for the world's controlling powers to find increasingly greater weapons to retain power. Thankfully, a gridlock during the cold war has kept the human race from wiping itself out. But as the race continues to uncover even greater weapons technology, the questions need to focus on how we can contain this power from bringing about armageddon.
Controversial Discoveries
It's pretty frightening if you believe the pessimistic view of what life could be like in just a few tears from now - with war and control at the focus of the world's leaders. After reading the many documents, watching countless videos, and delving deeper into discussions on some pretty fascinating topics around tests (that may or may not have been) carried out (especially those around directional frequency applications), I'm starting to believe that we are not fast approaching - we are already commencing a new dawn.
Don't Panic
What matters now, is that we all educate ourselves to try and understand what's really going on and the motives behind the people who appear to conceal the truth. That way, the more we all know, the more we can collectively direct the benefits of these phenomenal life-changing technological powers towards creating a positively better world for us to live in and away from those people and powers that could destroy it.
Further Discovery
It's the mavericks like John Hutchinson (featured above), that I find the most interesting. They choose to research for little monetary gain and it's home-scientists and free thinkers like him that we need more of if we are to survive beyond the next millennium. It's becoming clearer to me, after watching footage from a Dr Judy Wood seminar video, that we have some dark powers at work with some mysterious goings on in the world that we can't yet justify. And we can't just leave things to chance trusting that the balance of good outweighs bad. Rather than watch soap operas, I urge everyone to research a little instead and try to make up their own minds what could be the truth and disregard the nonsensical.
The very fact this information in all it's guises, exists - gives some hope and confidence that we have the ability to uncover corruption and lay down a stronger foundation for better keeping an open, harmonious and free way of life in a time which could likely be the most defining point in humanity.
A strange thing occurred to me the other day. I have been dealing with a set of injuries that stubbornly refuse to go away. Yoga, regular stretching, a long break from being sat in front of a computer all day long and general lifestyle improvements have all helped to significantly reduce the symptoms...but they are still there.
While laying on my back after a particularly tough (yes guys it can be very physically challenging) yoga session, I quietly focussed on my body and the benefits of my practice. What I noticed, was a tendency for my right foot to roll out to the right. I traced the muscles up my right leg and realised my hip was touching the mat. Over to the left foot and up the leg, I discovered my left buttock was engaged - hence the tilt in my hip and splayed right foot. I was twisted! Suddenly it dawned on me...the tightness in my left hip-flexor & glutes was causing an imbalance in my movements (increased flexibility on one side more than on the other) - why was this?
Little things have big consequences
I'd heard about the knock-on effects of having injuries on one side of the body consequently affecting the other. A good friend of mine had recently confirmed this fact when he went to a physio with a chronic back issue that he'd been informed required surgery by his doctor.
Desperate to avoid the knife, he went back to someone he'd seen two years prior. He'd disregarded her advice back then. The physio had taken one look as he entered the room and before he'd properly explained his symptoms, she'd already identified the root of his problems - a limp caused by a badly healed broken leg from 10 years before!
This friend, finally accepting something in the area of his left ankle was the cause of a prolapsed disk, then chose to alleviate the symptoms by following a course of physiotherapy to first fix the limp.
The Impact of time
Injuries can cause imbalances. But also, repeating the same action over and over, sitting in the same position, doing the same movements - these will all cause slight changes in our body that become more major over time. Muscles on one side become stronger or lengthen on the other and the body holds it's imbalanced position, causing tension and problems down the line.
So what had dawned on me the other day was simple - and it was such a simple thing to fix that I was dumbstruck how I'd allowed this to happen in the first place.
I'd had a wallet in my back right pocket for the whole of my adult life. This is why my right buttock muscle is relaxed - it's because when I'm sitting down on the wallet, only the left side needs to switch on the muscles to stay straight.
Since I removed the wallet and now have another possible solution for where to keep my valuables, I've noticed a massive change in lower back tightness over night. Yet again I'm astounded in discovering something that's been so glaringly obvious - yet taken me so long to discover in myself or so long to acknowledge and do something about. It's also confirmed to me that the small things really can make a difference in making a change for the better and for keeping a balance.
Back in 1991, while watching Terry Wogan on telly with my nan, a man named David Icke - a former footballer and sports TV pundit was introduced, who spoke about shape shifters, who are apparently an Earth controlling Reptilian Elite. This man was ridiculed on public television and I remember laughing at him along with my nan and my friends who also couldn't believe what a nutter he'd become...
Fast Forward To 2006
Terry Wogan invited David Icke back in 2006 to give him another chance to speak and to apologise for his rude behaviour the first time around. A lot happened in the 15 years between the interviews, including a lot of suspect activity from the USA (and UK), so yesterday, when I stumbled across this footage, I started to further investigate some of David Icke's 'prophesies' and revisited some of his ideas about the future of micro-chipping, The New World Order, the lizard brain, The Rockerfellers, population control and how these ideas have progressed to where they are now in 2015.
Is 1984 Becoming A Reality?
So today, I've spent a few interesting hours listening and reading about David Icke's ideas and his frighteningly accurate depiction of an Orwellian society. Suddenly, with so much corruption and greed being uncovered at a high level, these conspiracy theories now seem to have a lot more weight to them. The banking crisis, Iraq and more recently, the FIFA scandal - again connected back to the banks. Thankfully, the conspiracy theories (a term cleverly coined by the CIA at the time of the Kennedy Assassination to help discredit any theory other than the one proposed by the CIA) are not such an embarrassing thing to delve into and discuss publicly these days as The Telegraph's Alex Proud has been doing. He is doing as his name implies, standing up and speaking out where few would have had the courage to do so before.
Throwing The Baby Out With The Bath Water
The problem with conspiracy theories, are that any truth they could contain, gets mixed up in a lot of nonsense and everything gets chucked out as a load of baloney. This is the genius of the conspiracy theory for those wanting to conceal the truth.
It's easy to read or listen to someone like David Icke and quickly discredit everything they say. So, I'm not sure where I stand with some of David's really out-there ideas - especially the crazy stuff about a hollow moon and 3D holograms of our reality being projected from Saturn. But a controlling ellite's desire to microchip us all - this is happening right now in Mexico and new bills are being passed in the U.S. for ObamaCare which looks set for implementing this Big Brother device too. And even David's equally bizarre stories of lizard people controlling the earth's population could just mean Mr. Icke has connected the actions of our most primitive and powerful amygdala - or 'lizard brain', to the characteristics of some of our world leaders who are (mostly) unconscious to the control and domination drives of this tiny almond-shaped reptilian brain - contributing to so much world fear and war situations.
Fact or Fiction...It pays to keep an open mind:
Whatever we make of these theories, one thing I am learning, is that there are a lot of sheep or 'biological robots' if you want to believe David Icke - people easily controlled by fear, shepherded by the media or distracted with pop culture and consumerism. The majority of the rest are just lazy or apathetic to what's going on under their noses.
The small remainder are speaking out for the benefits of us all - to uncover what we all sneered at and first thought of as lunacy. Crazy goings on in our governments? No way! Thanks are due to the likes of Wikileaks etc. for clearing up some of these truths.....or not.
Some of this stuff out there seems too strange to be true. It's up to us to listen more to these outspoken people, do the research and make up our own minds to what's happening and start to take action if we want to halt the eradication of our freedom and quality of life before it's too late to do anything.
We all have pressure on us to perform. Having enough pressure on us is a necessity if we want to reach our goals. We need it or we fail to achieve. Too much pressure and we break down. I've seen first hand how hard it can be to recover from having too much pressure applied over long periods and I'm just a regular guy, living a life like most other people. So it's looking at the immense weight that is put on our sports stars and music/film celebrities that's really highlighted how excessive pressure can affect us and how difficult that must be to deal with.
Criticism and Humiliation
Watching the beautifully crafted new films about Paul Gascoigne and Kurt Cobain - we see how self-destructive our most revered talented and driven people can be - especially when exposed to the media and the wider world to see warts and all. One thing I've drawn from this is how fragile the ego is. My partner and I see it in ourselves from time to time - a lower self-esteem. And whether we are under the spotlight from others or having internal inquisitions, we all still have these torments to face up to.
Our image is what we hold firmly on to for identifying with who we are. It's very fragile. Having confidence in our 'self', in our abilities and focussing on strengthening that 'image' is key for personal growth. If we rely on searching elsewhere for acceptance and appreciation, we risk placing the power in the hands of others. Even if they are our friends, family and loved ones. Because, at low points and without self-acceptance, it's the love from others that restores our confidence and identity, when self-compassion needs to come from within. And without having this shallow projection of 'self' re-affirmed, we lose track of it and what we believe we are.
This was certainly true of Kurt Cobain. Rejection and lack of appreciation or acceptance of his intensely creative talents coming from his family, contributed to a mindset that became destructive the more his image and identity was left to the critics and press to tear at. As the pressure mounted, the weakened Cobain turned towards a way out.
Great talents are nurtured in those driven to achieve success, through the right type of pressure. Sometimes this pressure, if mis-directed, becomes too much to withstand and can derail those without strong self-control and compassion from a positive path, to addiction and self destruction. How do some manage better than others to keep their heads?
Touched by the hand of God
Maradona, touched with a real talent for playing football, a crafty intelligence and charisma for dealing with the media, has somehow managed to keep his sanity and health, although being publicly disgraced for drug addiction and cheating. Under immense pressure at periods throughout his career, he never really had the assistance of management or a publicist like today's stars do, yet through all the negative publicity, press and widely seen footage from his darkest days, he has managed to recover from life-threatening addictions and lives a happy family life today - whilst still being revered as one of the greatest players in footballing history and widely recognised for scoring the greatest World Cup goal in 1986. Even strongly confronted with the fact that he cheated England with a hand-ball to score a game-changing goal - he still has no remorse and actually takes pride in his actions. He obviously has very strong self-belief. This I find amazing - as looking back at Paul Gascoigne in Italia World Cup 1990 at a period in English football when the pressure and dreams of success came to a sad end in the Semi-final penalty shoot out with Germany, you can see where this result weighed heavy on the nation's football stars - and very likely, the nation as a whole, even to this day.
I'm not really what you'd call a typical football fan - yet I still get emotional watching (and re-living) the games from the World Cup and the moment when 'the nation so nearly succeeded'. Incredible, the value placed on the outcome from this sporting event and the stars themselves.
In the years that followed, the pressure from the British media, injuries sustained and alcohol self-abuse that Paul endured (and still battles with), have taken him on a dark path. And watching accounts from other successful sports stars like Mike Tyson and George Best - all falling prey to addiction and lost identities - it's revealing to see how important self belief is for protecting ourselves from outside influences and just how damaging our inner demons can be if we don't take control of them.
Self belief for success
Taking action for bolstering our self-esteem, self-confidence and towards creating a tougher shell to better deflect unwanted criticism plus building a virtual volume control switch for muting that destructive inner voice, will make us stronger and more capable for dealing with those down days. It's amazing how something so small can linger in our minds and sub-consciously chip away at our confidence. Practising techniques like those mentioned by Leo Babauta in the link above or some of the helpful others mentioned here in this informative post, can help us to be strong.
The power of knowledge
Something I use daily, for increasing my power of self belief - is to focus on learning. Researching, reading, comparing what I've learned to what I believe as a way to either confirm or re-affirm what I already know or to glean something insightful and empowering anew and add this to my knowledge banks. This increases confidence. I accept my weaknesses and try to learn how I can improve on them. Writing down my learnings and affirmations every day - and using these to refer against, helps me to realise what I have at my disposal and keeps me focussed on increasing my potential and therefore my self-confidence for being better at dealing with pressure.
We all have it in us to be life savers and look out for those in need of rescue. It just takes a bit of awareness to really see when someone needs help and willingness for action help when we can. It's all about the act of being on one's guard and looking out for others' safety & wellbeing.
Caring for another's wellbeing is what our parents have naturally always done. We in turn have a duty to protect our ageing parents and look out for our siblings and the rest of the family. In marriage, it's written into the contract of matrimony to look out for one another 'til death do us part. It's an expected responsibility in everyone's life, to give help where it's needed.
On Point
In military terms, someone 'On Point' means they are at the front line of combat. They are the first to come under enemy fire and need to be in a heightened state of awareness in order to 'get the backs' of their fellows. Their job is ultimately to protect and hold their position.
Badge of Honour
There's obvious situations when this role is called for, ie. when there's potential danger or when specialist skills are required that some are better equipped to draw on than others. But there are other situations where an unexpected event has occurred and a life saving duty is required. If there's a 'man down', someone has to step-up and 'be the metal' - the life saver. It's an honourable thing to do - often taken instinctively without thoughts for one's own wellbeing. Military heroes take action in these defining moments because they have the extra resources to do what needs to be done and can act on them when it's realised others do not and will suffer. These acts are rewarded with medals.
Unsung Hero
Life saving instances are not just witnessed on the front line of battle in military scenarios, they are all around us in every day situations. It's found at work and in relationships but rarely is it seen in the same light as in the military. There are no medals. 'Having someone's back' behaviours are often played out in everyday life without any recognition. Someone might just be termed as extra helpful, reliable or dependable. This in itself, can be a badge of great honour but it can become a burden as some will take advantage of this noble characteristic. Therefore, making it clearly known when actions are being taken for protecting/saving or defending a person/position are taken, is arguably the best approach to take. Speaking up a bit more often can bring better recognition. This will benefit us in the workplace and in our relationships because there's a measure of our worth in these acts. Otherwise, the unsung hero just gets exploited.
Life saving roles can become the expected norm in certain environments & relationships. This leads to dependency. Just like in the military, using our resources to play out the hero role for sustained periods can be draining. So when the resources are eventually depleted, the only recognition received could be from those dependant on us, merely criticising when the life saving demands are not met!
On Duty
If we look at the military as an example. When the duties of soldiers working together in unison to better serve and protect each other in battle are shared. Swapping 'battle' for 'life' and soldiers for colleagues/partners or loved ones and adopting a military mindset for taking on tough challenges in life, we can also better manage our resources. If we understand our strengths, we can adopt the role needed to pull the group through in times of need. Likewise, if we have a partner that has the resources available when we are down - knowing that role can be taken to protect and hold the position for a time, means we've both got each other's backs.
I Got This!
We all have times when we're not performing at our best. Tired, hungry or stressed out - potential clashes in a relationship can create further distress and compound a difficult situation, especially if all concerned are below par. This is where the hero steps up!
This simple statement, 'I got this' - has had such an important impact on the health of our relationship. Using this phrase, has become adopted as part of our ongoing game of life and something which works wonders in all taxing encounters. My partner and I will recognise when a fraught situation is imminent and one of us will step-up and say 'I got this!'.
Firstly, what this means is that a game has been instated. This game scenario immediately diffuses the tension and can in itself be enough to pull one or both of us through. Secondly, it helps by self-rewarding the hero who has come forward. Thirdly, it calms the weakest in the group, because they know everything is taken care of until their resources are replenished once again. And lastly, it re-affirms the partnership because it's known that each is serving their duty to the other and confirmation there's always going to be someone watching their back!
In this day and age - driving is not allowed on the beach. But, yesterday, I managed to get on to Margate Beach with my car. It's not any car that should be allowed on a beach - but there are some that were made for hopping around in the sand - namely a Beach Buggy.
Everyone should have a drive in one of these cars. Beach Buggies make you feel alive. Loud, quick and nimble, open to the elements and close to the ground, it's a real driving experience. Blasting along on the beach with the wind in your face just a few feet from the sea - you drop all your worries. Everyone you pass, smiles and waves and you can't help but grin back at them as you pass - with a feeling of freedom washing over you that only a car like this can give you.
I recently watched this great programme on Channel 4 called For the Love of Cars - about air cooled engines that were used in Citroen's 2CV the VW Beetle, Camper and the greatest and most fun car of all....the Beach Buggy. Here's a picture of mine above, also featured on the (back) cover of The Definitive Guide to Beach Buggies by James Hale.
If you'd like to hire this car - please look at my website for more details.
We place great significance on the tasks we perform daily. The actions we take are used as a gauge for determining our happiness and success. Small wins and easily fixed problems are like little boosters for our soul. They bring meaning and purpose to our lives.
Dealing with minor 'problems', leads us to believe we're being useful in some way. They come to define us. By becoming the 'solutions' finder, we feel important...necessary. If we can identify/fix these problems, and in the process, shift blame to take responsibility for someone else's alleged failings, it helps us feel like we're really tackling what life throws our way. In the process, we offload some pent-up frustration as we continue to divert our nagging attention away from the bigger issues.
Often, far higher levels of importance are placed on these adopted menial problems to better prioritise above and/or mask the real issues at heart. They get actioned first, when in fact they should feature way down the list or hold no significance at all.
Acknowledging what's really important in our lives and placing them near the top on the to-do list, will often uncover masked feelings of frustration and fear. These suppressed emotions keep us from facing life's realities and ultimately stop us from being our truer selves. The challenges can be tough - hence why we tend to sweat the small stuff instead.
Many people place far too much importance on the trivial. They build up strong fixed ideas of right and wrong. These fixations help distract their minds away from what they really should be thinking about ie. what's really important in their lives. The stronger the fixations, the more they are hiding the truth from themselves. Deep down, they are unhappy.
Focussing on the niggles & gripes or little wins & losses, may appear to be an easier mental state to be in. Stressing about the trivial rather than focussing on relationship health, personal growth, physical wellbeing and job/financial satisfaction, can be much easier to deal with in the short term. Busying ourselves with small stuff leaves little or no time to address the much needed life management.
Burden Management
Filling our days with distractions, will help hide the truth from us. It could be said that having children also moves focus away from the self. Having kids can nicely tie up the mind for 20+ years. It's possibly why so many chose to have them when their relationship is starting to wane, only later opting to separate when looking after children ceases to be such a strong distraction.
So having no children and fewer worries to tie up the brain, allows much more time to look inward. This makes for an uncomfortable mindset. It can feel like a heavy sack weighing you down. But, being mindful of this sack is far better than denying it's there. Acknowledging what we're carrying, stripping away what we don't need and managing the weight as best as we can - this will bring happiness. Because, if we allow it to happen, this baggage will become heavier over time and eventually wear us down - it will stop us from moving forward. This is where depression is rooted.
Lose the Mask
It's when we come up against people with such strong fixated ideas of right and wrong, obsessive attributes on matters like overly-strict time keeping or having strong emotional reactions to seemingly menial concerns, that we should be aware of possible underlined deep rooted issues placed at the heart of these controlling behaviours.
If we allow it, we can become these broken people. We need to face our demons to overcome them and not just block them out with trivia or create fixations on nonsense. These monsters break through at our lowest ebb, like when we're tired, numbed from too much alcohol or later in life when the burden of carrying the load becomes too much to take. Don't allow these gremlins to grow - be brave and start today. Drop the meaningless and focus on what's important instead.
According to research discussed by Robert Trivers in his insightful book called The Folly of Fools: The Logic of Deceit and Self-Deception in Human Life, the very act of writing stuff down can help realise change. So if that means making plans for the future or on the flip side writing about traumatic experiences we've suffered - the very act of writing this all down will help to either materialise or purge it.
Apparently, in tests, it was shown that those who had lost their jobs, after 6 months 53% of writers compared to only 18% of non writers had found a new job. One theory is that the anger felt is not displaced on to the new prospective employer and you become more attractive as a potential employee for that company. This theory holds up in all aspects. Try as we might to rid ourselves of the thoughts and fears built up over years - they manifest in several ways throughout our lives. The conscious mind may not detect or can be hiding these hard to remove personality traits. It's at times when we're tired or our conscious mind is dulled through alcohol that we reveal these parts of ourselves that we are trying our best to conceal or contain. Writing them down and facing up to them - then letting them go if destructive, through a symbolic act of deleting, screwing up or burning the paper could also help to free our minds from the torment of past memories.
Rising to the challenge every morning has taken on an extra meaning for me these days. Getting out of bed to do something physically challenging like boxing - before most have even thought about getting out of bed, has given me a new strength of character and ability to take a lot of lesser taxing challenges on the chin without a wobble, throughout the day.
Agreeing to commit to this morning's challenge with my boxing trainer and most importantly - keeping this commitment with myself - when I could so very easily have taken a few more hours in bed, has meant other aspects in my life have also been set in concrete. It's tough training but by following it through consistently and always taking the challenge, means other tough challenges have also been risen up to - and taken face on.
Daily Discomfort
My partner and I now stick to a morning exercise routine every day - come rain or shine. It's usually at 5.30am and involves some tough physical challenges like sustained planks. Sometimes, after a late night with a little too much alcohol involved, it can make this challenge even more uncomfortable than it usually is. It's on these occasions that the extra effort to complete these exercises really strengthens our resolve. By sticking to the plan even though the mind has been telling us not to and having discomfort at such an early point in the day - lays down strong foundations for dealing with whatever the rest of the day throw at us. Chances are, as the discomfort becomes tolerated enough over time, a toughness will be built up meaning everything following on from that will feel like a breeze in comparison!
Music is the perfect mood enhancer. Having some uplifting tunes ready at hand is the easiest way to lift a spirit! It's amazing how we can turn a grumpy, negative person into one that's carefree and fun to be with.
Create some playlists of your own, or try some new ones on YouTube, Rdio, Spotify or iTunes. We now have a couple of tunes playing that we do our 3 minute planks to help us get through the challenge in the mornings. Every time I hear the intro for Survivor's Eye of the Tiger, it makes me feel happy and ready to tackle these once-dreaded planks and can lift my spirits for any given challenge. Journey's Don't Stop Believing caries us through to the end of the session and gets us ready for the rest of the day and whatever it may bring!
We are what we eat. And we perform best with the right foods taken on board. So, I've been taking a closer look at which foods I really enjoy to eat the most and am therefore happy to have on a regular basis. I've narrowed these ingredients down to just those that are healthy, nutritious, as unprocessed as possible, plus convenient/quick to prepare & cook in a multitude of different meals.
Creating a new mindset for how we view our food, will enable us to make better choices in what we take into the body. Food is fuel. Simple and true. Yet, food has come to mean so much more than merely energy for the body. Advertising messages bombard us with (often misleading) information about how tasty, nutritious and healthy certain foods are. Marketeers have become experts at branding their products with impactful packaging to catch our eyes and encourage us to select their brands. It's no wonder we fill our baskets with over-packaged, processed and often unhealthy choices.
Not only are we swayed by advertising, but we often choose the foods that we find the most tasty. These more often that not, tend to be the ones high in fat, sugar and salt. These foods not only contain high level of the ingredients that can cause us harm, but the bodies response to these ingredients, means we tend to over-eat higher quantities of them too.
Apart from athletes, body builders or the body conscious types, most of us don't give a second thought to what we put in our mouths other than focus on it's taste, convenience and one other factor - social implications. We centre a lot of our socialising around food too. So, we'll prepare tasty meals or visit restaurants, where we can eat tasty, highly calorific meals with our family and friends. A lot of restaurants are now under pressure to display the calorie content and breakdown of the main essential ingredients within it's meals. If we all become greater masters of our own palette and more closely in tune with managing our health, then knowing the protein, fat, carbohydrate percentages, plus how much sugar and salt is contained within our food, will help us to make the right decisions. Restaurants and a lot of those who enjoy eating - are reluctant to allow this to happen. Much better to hide it and deceive themselves that ruin the momentary enjoyment that a desert can bring. A moment on the lips - a lifetime on the hips!
Removing impulse decisions - ie. mastering the palette, can mean we consume a lot of the same food ingredients. This can get a bit boring after a while. But, having a combination of essentials in the cupboards, the tools and creative flair to concoct gastronomic delights from a multitude of essential ingredients, will help to keep meals interesting and enjoyable.
Moderation is the key as they say - so, a little of the things we call 'treats', can still be allowed in the diet, but we should try and keep them down to a minimum and factor in some regular exercise so we can earn them. We should im to follow a 'clean' diet for at least 5 days of the week. We can therefore have a greater choice for eating whatever we want for our meals on the other one or two days of the week. And following a better diet most of the time means the odd indulgent meal shouldn't impact on the waistline too much either.
There's a few key ingredients we should always keep in the cupboard for those easy meals. Fresh vegetables, herbs and fish/meat will have to be bought regularly but always having foods like eggs, tins/packets of tomato and tinned fish to hand, means we're never caught short for something easy and relatively healthy to make.
The Right Tools For The Job
Another element to ensuring we don't revert back to processed/convenience foods - is to have the right equipment in our reach to make quick and easy meals. These items can all be bought cheaply. I've chosen an expensive juicer because it's worth investing in one that retains as much of the live enzymes from the food and allows longer life for the juice, but there are cheaper ones on the market that still do a great job.
Good Proteins
Smoked salmon
Salmon flakes
Salmon fillets
Cod fillets
Haddock fillets
Mackerel fillets
Sea bream
Prawns (fresh)
Mixed seafood (available from major supermarket fish counter)
Roast chicken
Chicken breast
Chicken thighs
Chicken strips
Turkey Breast
Turkey Slices
Duck breast
Quorn mince
Cheat Foods & Snacks
Whole grain rice
Whole oats Spelt Pasta
Rice cakes
Cream crackers
Cottage cheese
Low fat mayonnaise
Ham slices
New potatoes Rye bread
Almond butter
Mixed nuts (no peanuts)
Dried fruit
Gentlemen's relish fish paste
Honey
Molasses
70% Dark chocolate
Coconut water
Humous
Note It Down
Essentially, what we take in for our fuel, needs to be of the best quality. So choose organic veg, non-farmed fish, grass-fed and free-range meats wherever possible, convenient and fairly priced.
It's amazing how much we trick ourselves, so, make up a list of all the foods you regularly eat, break them down into healthy and not so healthy categories. Then work out the healthy meals to be eaten in the week and provided you take in some regular exercise every day (at least 20 minutes of fast walking), give yourself a little daily treat for the first week. Avoid snacking and remember to jot down in a diary, everything you take into your mouth to eat/drink - including how much water. After a week, assess where you've been good or struggled, and repeat the following week but without daily treats - keeping just to weekends fro sweets etc. If you can keep this up for 30 days or more - there'll be a change in the mindset with a lot more consideration given for what you consume.
Having only the freshest, most nutritious ingredients in the cupboards, will stop those impulsive snack decisions and encourage you to be more creative with the ingredients for varied meal combinations. Having a break from the sweet treats will also curb the desire for snacking on them. Eventually, over time, the weekend treats will become smaller in volume and therefore much easier to control, plus the regular management of what is consumed will mean mindful decisions play a much greater role over the impulsive ones.
To keep our adventurous spirit alive, we have to daily seek out new experiences. Fresh perspectives on life will be found as we discover new horizons and we needn't board a plane to do this.
There's so much adventure to be experienced from right here on our doorsteps and it often only takes a slight deviation from the path to stumble upon some amazing discoveries. We have only a limited time on this planet and yet, so many of us repeat the same old routines day in and day out, never looking to try something new.
There's a rich and rewarding world out there just waiting for us to discover it. New sights, sounds, tastes to sample and interesting people to meet. Some of this can be found just around the next corner. We just need to start off our day with an inquisitive mind and a realisation that so much can be discovered if we are open for adventure.
How many times in our lives have we said we're going to do something and failed to deliver on it? Many times for sure - because talk is cheap. We often talk on autopilot and a lot of the time we don't even realise we're doing this. So, to deliver on what we're saying, we really need to be more mindful of what we are saying and what we can stick to.
Focussing On The Moment
The worst time to have a conversation is when the mind is occupied with another task. If one attempts to engage in a conversation at the same time as performing another task, the mind disengages from comprehension and retention of information, In a compromised state, the person multi-tasking will likely agree to anything that's put to them - often to a disadvantage. Many have gotten wise to this fact and why distraction is often used as a tool for ensuring consent to desired plans.
It's easy to respond to questions without thinking through what it is we really want to say first. It's also really easy to talk 'twaddle' - mindless small talk. Sometimes it can feel like the part of the brain responsible for talking, is acting completely on it's own accord. One may get told by partners that they have said something - with no recollection of saying it. This mindfulness problem will get multi-tasker in a lot of trouble! I've personally caught myself mid-stream agreeing to a task, when I knew full well I was not going to be able to commit to it.
Some falsely believe they can multitask. The reality is, that tasks can be taken on simultaneously, but all will be compromised. We all really need to focus on what we're doing, including having a meaningful conversation. This means completely averting energies on other tasks, making eye contact, and then thoughtfully considering exactly what is being discussed before agreeing to something that needs to be carried through with mutual agreement.
The Morning Schedule
A good example of where the focus on communication has started to work, comes with one's commitment to the morning schedule. A group of us called the 5am club has been committing to an exercise routine for some time now. Qi Gong, planks, press-ups and physio exercises every day before breakfast. Sometimes, however, a late night with friends, a few too many drinks and not enough food, means the early start and physical exertion becomes more of a challenge - a good excuse you'd think, for changing plans. Not any more. Previously, one of us would decide that they wanted to stay in bed longer or skip the exercises. This was becoming a difficult situation because we'd take turns to break the rules so much that there was no routine and the group was beginning to disintegrate.
The solution was to have a meaningful conversation the night before and mutually agree on a plan for the following day. If there was a good enough reason for a time change - then fine, we'd make the adjustment, but under no circumstances was the chain going to be broken by not sticking to the routine.
Seinfeld's 'Chain' Strategy
There's been a few people laying claim to this simple but effective technique, which is essentially just making a plan and sticking to it - like writing something in a blog every day or doing 3x 2 minute planks and 50 continuous press-ups - even with a hangover.
Integrity Rules
Each time we make 'pacts' within groups, with family, friends, partners and with ourselves, we need to be aware that breaking this contract, also damages our integrity. If this continues, the ability to stick to plans, and firm up beliefs and ability to stay on the path of truth, becomes weakened. Our moral compass lowers.
Staying true to our word and starting from plans made the evening before, with actions taken the following morning – will aid us in creating healthy habits and positive lifestyle changes.
When we're working towards something hard like improving our levels of fitness, body strength and endurance, it takes a certain type of mental attitude to get the best out of our abilities.
On certain days, we may not be feeling quite as energetic or enthusiastic about training and either we skip a session, cut corners, use lower weights, put in shorter times or exert the minimum required effort. That's where a fitness professional comes in handy. Taking part in a group session or one-on-one personal coaching means the choice to under perform - which is usually the head and not the body talking, is taken away form us. Having a PT is a luxury most of us don't have - so the next best option is to train with a friend.
Mutual Benefits
Two training together means a few things. Firstly, the commitment. If both are mutually after the same goals of getting fit, then each will encourage the other to turn up. Turning up as they say, is arguably the hardest part! Secondly, having someone to bounce ideas off or suggest varied training techniques to work with means training sessions stay fresh and will help us to consistently follow a successful training routine. Thirdly, an extra level of support and even a healthy bit of competition means results will be easier to measure and performance levels increased. Just knowing someone else is watching us perform can help motivate us to achieve more. In strength training for example - if we can't quite make those last few reps, someone is there to encourage us to put the effort in or safely spot and assist in those moments where we're just not quite there yet. Increasing the intensity on our own is difficult to do and something we rarely do single-handedly and therefore, to make these improvements two will definitely be better than one. Ultimately though, having others present means a team mindset - each doesn't want to let the other down.
As we've seen from reading about how we deceive ourselves, it's easier to kid ourselves that we're doing the best we can, so having a second opinion to verify if that is in fact the case, will mutually help both parties achieve their goals.
