Celebration Of Life

FOCUS FOR CHANGE 2015 INTO 2016

This is the final day of a great year in which I have learned so much about myself. By keeping a daily blog/diary, I've already grown to be a better version of myself. I've dedicated my time every daily, to learn new insights on psychology to better equip myself with tools and knowledge for successes and for identifying areas where more work is needed. This day marks not the last day of change for 2015, but sets a marker for yet another year of continual development and growth. This day is not only a celebration of what's gone before but also an enthusiastic cheer for discovering much more in 2016!

Becoming A Better Person
At the start of the year, I made a pledge to improve on some of the things that were either lacking or needing fixing. I took a more critical look at the areas for improvement, mentally, physically, financially and better ways to use my time to daily learn ways to become a better, more healthy, wealthy (in more ways than just money), charitable, centred and loving individual. In many ways, so much has already been gained and I will continue to look for ways to build on these accomplishments and make more daily improvements in the coming year. These are the areas I've had success in:

Physically - I have fixed some ailments through my consistent home physio programme, daily Qi Gong, committed Yoga and wisdom gained through reading so many inspirational books.
Mentally - Through self reflection, knowledge gained form reading, mentors & teachers, meeting and speaking with others who are seeking enlightenment and change, I've identified and improved my ways of thinking so they are pre-thought rather than reactive decisions making my day go a certain way.
Financially - Understanding the value of money, spending less, earning through different types of work that I enjoy doing and a strong resolve for tackling large organisations that seek to take or withhold from me - I have become credit card and debt-free. I have greater restraint, better planning and tighter management on finances. Ways and means for moving money around have become more creative and rewarding.
Spiritually - By following the teachings of eastern based philosophies in Yoga and the dedication to the 'one' true path, I have been able to remove myself from many of the problematic, health and wellbeing issues that I've been suffering with. By denying these thoughts the brain time, I've diminished their power and stopped them from interfering in my live. I've also passed on my learnings to others, so they may benefit too.
Intellectually - I've learned to speak another language, touch-type, write more creatively. I understand more about nutrition, physiology and other health enhancing skills through taking a Personal Trainer's course. I have extra skill sets for taking on other roles and a clearer understanding of myself and how to manage my personality to fit with other personalities and situations for harmony and mutual benefits. I've also been far more active with taking notice of political corruption and making a stand, plus encouraging others to do so too.

In all, there's been so much to take in. I will now have to re-look at the 365 days of writing, evaluate what it all means and begin putting everything together in a more comprehensive format. This will be my focus for 2016, so that I may be able to pass on this wealth of knowledge and the concepts that have helped me along the way.

Not Such A Lonely Journey
This year could not have been so great without the support of my significant other - my soul mate, Cathy. She has been my advocate all along the way and my support for what I'm doing. It would also have been a lot harder to stick to the daily writings without the many mentors I've discovered on the journey. My father's unexpected illness has also been a reminder of how life can throw things at you that make planning for the future a far less important factor, when really, we should all be making the most of the time we have to live in the moment. There's no point getting caught up in 'what if's?' from the past or future. It's the steady pace of conviction moving in the right direction that determines the journey's worth and ultimate worthy destination.

So all these positive influences (my dad is thankfully feeling a lot better again) have really helped - but, arguably, without having such a strong negative turning point which motivated me to action - a colossal sign, that has truly inspired me, I may have lost my way pretty quickly. It's an ironic fact, that death, as sad as it is, can inspire us to embrace life.

The Straw That Broke The Camel's Back
I have to give thanks to the individuals (no names given here, but I have you all in my minds eye right now) and the organisation you and I work/worked for - with your actions/non-actions that prompted me to say 'no' and 'I've had enough'. News UK, I wish you and your people every success. Please try and inspire others as you have me, to follow a truer path.

A Reminder Of Life 
Two people that need my greatest thanks, appreciation of their life and recognition of the significance in their untimely deaths - Toby Allnut who died 15.12.15 and Adam Whitehurst 31.12.15 - both, who I worked with at News, who sadly took their own lives. Toby, as I mentioned before on my 15th December post, brought it home to me, immediately after my holiday, at a time when I could have so easily been swept up in the drunken December/Christmas mayhem to lose sight of my holiday resolutions, and Adam - your timing, on the last day of 2014 was for me a bizarre twist of fate. Very likely, around the time I was making my mind up that 'tomorrow, the 1st day of the New Year', was going to see a significant change for happiness and fulfilment in my life....you were making a decision to end yours.

RIP Toby & Adam
You won't be forgotten

Little Sparks

CREATIVE ILLUMINATION

Walking to a local pub yesterday, we stumbled upon a really cool open mic music event. 

This local pub has a nice feel about it, a bit of a last bastion in a town where many of the old haunts have been converted into Chinese/Indian restaurants or taken over by supermarket chains like Tesco. But the pub, which was itself converted from a working mill at one time, would not be able to survive with only the regular punters coming in and spending their money. 

This is where bringing that something extra in to the pub helps to draw in the non-regular crowd. 

The music night featured a mixed bag of music lovers with a fair to middling range of talent, but at the core of the event was the little gem, the very reason the music event was even happening. This girl was the creative spark. She was the heart of the gathering holding it all together and making it that much more than just a smattering of bedroom rock stars. 

We can see these little sparks if we look close enough. When we get that feeling we're witnessing something great that they'll 'pop' out from the crowd. They are the diamonds in the rough - those special people that inspire others to greatness.

A Dedication To My Inspiration

AN INSPIRATION

Many things have come together over time to inspire me on this path. There have been dear friends like Dean who have been my spiritual guide and teacher for a long time. I've had his guidance gifted in a way that I could accept without being cynical. Geoff Thompson, who, via Dean, has been a generous teacher - holding up a mirror to my face, for grasping the truths that have been right under my nose - seen but not actioned until now. My work situation over the last six years has been my main conduit for change and the tragic ending to 2014 my call to action.

Not Forgotten
Toby Allnut was just 40 years old when he took his life. It was a tragic coming at a the end of a particularly tough year in my place of work, News UK. The date has a lot of significance for me as I'd just returned from a much needed break and this first day back at work, cemented my commitment from that day forward, the need for creating a new life for myself. While I had been away on this holiday, I'd acknowledged how my depleted my mojo was and how lost my soul had become. I recognised in myself where my lack of enthusiasm, almost non-existent empathy and depleted desire for doing anything, was causing a potential spiral away from my true self.

The fact that it had taken this long for me to see what had been right in front of my face for so long - and the inability to make the changes that were needed for this new path, was a revelation. It had only come while I had some time to myself for reflection and headspace for hatching plans for the new year.

Coming home to this tragedy - the death of a well liked man seen by all as very happy go lucky - with everything seemingly going well for him, was a clear indication of how some people are beyond seeing the problems before it's too late. For me, the similarities between me and Toby were a wake up call for action. I hadn't fallen to far, but I was definitely getting dragged down slowly and surely into a darker place, which may have manifested in a breakdown, illness or worse in months or years to come.

Out Of Control
A friend of mine came home to a note saying 'Leave your job - or I leave you'. It was from his wife who had seen his character and mood change for the worse. He couldn't see tnhe changes in himself and didn't leave his job. But a few days after, when he woke on a beach wearing his suit, he realised that his mind was out of control. He didn't remember getting to the beach nor why he was there - but his worrying belief, which surfaced some days after, was that he was going to walk into the sea. He immediately left his job and hasn't really worked since in the same realms - ie. a high paced and stressful environment. He's had to find other ways to pay the bills.

This friend's story has been yet another inspiration and realisation for me that without proper help or support from friends, family and loved ones - something a lot of people don't have available to them....especially single men, we can all lose control of our lives and not even our even knowing it.

So, thank you to all my inspirations - especially you Toby - I could have missed my calling or given it just a fraction of the dedication that it really needed. You won't be forgotten.

The Inner Child

THE STUBBORN AND REBELLIOUS ONE

The ego is an identity of our own construction which states our beliefs and abilities. And just as a small child will seek solace to diminish fears, our anxieties expressed through the inner voice, will manifest attachments to the ego, which given the power to dictate who we are, create emotional turmoil in our lives.

We build up our ego from birth. It is implanted within us by our mother/care givers, our peers and society. We have a need to fit in and conform with those around us. It's a process of finding the right way and it's not easy to accomplish. That's why we all struggle with our ego and are prone to inner conflict when we follow our false centre rather than become more attuned to our truer self.

Through ongoing skilful and compassionate mindfulness, understanding where our strengths lie and our weaknesses hide, we can live a meaningful existence in harmony, without being controlled by the ego. We hold on to the ego too firmly, allowing it to take over in many aspects of our lives, especially when we come up against another's ego and their ever-controlling needs. How do we manage and adapt our ego so we're better equipped for dealing with the ego-centric world around us?

There are many tools and studies that help highlight our characteristics, preferences and personality 'types'. There are tests that can be taken online, books to be read and a past for us to delve into where we can identify why we are the people we are now, how we got there and if this adult we've become is the best we can be.

Adult Life - Like A Playground
A fascinating programme on Channel 4 called: The secret lives of 4,5,6 year old's offers us a great insight into a child's growth over a two week period, where we observe their ability to fit within a group and form friendships. Playing at Big Brother, we can see these little people in their early stages of development, witnessing their struggles to comprehend the complex interplay of relationships. In them, we in turn can all recognise the issues we had to face as children, and as adults, have either become more successful at dealing with over time or are still wrestling with these same complex issues. This dilemma, will either be through our lack of applied learning or an inability for us to even recognise and take better control of these traits in ourselves.

Taking A View From Third Person Perspective
I could see patterns in a few of these children that resonated with me - and issues that maybe weren't addressed as well at the time or have become so ingrained into my personality, that I need to give more focus now as an adult in order to better understand myself and improve how I interact with other people. In effect, sefl-observations like this process followed over an extended timeframe, make my ego more flexible/adaptable, to better fit in with the needs of others.

From just watching a few minutes of this TV show, I began to identify with situations some of the kids were going through. The show made me laugh at times but I felt uncomfortable and even quite sad at other points in the show. I really felt for these kids and rooted for them to find the right answers to make them happy. Some of the traits they have and are dealing with – are traits I still carry with me to this day and will be the same for many others still living out their childhood. For example:

- I remember not wanting to be in a group and feeling uncomfortable doing things that I did not already know about or had checked out myself first beforehand and knew them to be okay.
I am very independent, still hold back from groups and will quickly revert to doing my own thing.
- I was an introverted and imaginative child. I preferred to play alone with Lego, creating symmetrical and complex structures. I would fight anyone who tried to take Lego pieces and refused to share them with other kids.
I still conceive solitary ideas, making my own designs and developing concepts which I then struggle to share – and find it difficult when taking suggestions/input/criticism from others.
- I can join in, but on my own terms and still struggle to play along to someone else's rules.
I will always have an out – and prefer to do it my way (which is always the best way in my opinion).
- I lack compassion and struggle to show empathy towards others, as I prefer solitary play.
I will back away from emotional situations/confrontations and find it difficult to identify with my own emotions. I lack the ability to catch feelings & emotions before they attach themselves to a situation and develop into a mood or physical manifestations.
- I'm fiercely competitive - and will get an edge any way I can.
I always follow a pre-thought-out plan and maintain a cunning mindset in order to beat the system and anybody who gets in my way with everything I do - this permeates through every waking moment - even down to trivialities like how I get a privileged position on the tube in the rush hour.
- I have boundless energy, will play hard with others and fight back when encountering an equal.
I grew up on a council estate, I've fought bullies and learned to fight back from an early age so as not to let anyone take advantage of me. This has created someone who can't let go easily. But I do manage to command respect and will give it back to those who show it to me.

Personality Types
As well as recognising these above character traits, just from seeing parallels in some of the situations the kids experienced on the TV show - I also have the Myers Briggs model to measure against, showing preferences towards: INTJ, INTP, ENTJ or ENTP - depending on the day and with whom I take the test with.

In a team situation, according to Meredith Belbin, I also have a Completer-Finisher mindset. This makes me a taskmaster both to myself and directed at colleagues, rendering me unwilling to delegate or take criticism from others, at times appearing absent-minded or having a lack of concern about taking breaks or letting-up on pressure for the rest of the team to achieve goals I've set.

According to another set of personality studies, I also fit a type 'A' personality profile, which means I'm all kinds of bad, including; lacking in compassion, über-competitive and always trying to fit too much in, hence prone to stress, bouts of hostility and potentially an early death, through stress-related issues like high blood pressure! On top of this, I have a sense of duty and a fear of failure - meaning I feel the need to look out for others, fighting additional battles to sort things out and taking on extra responsibilities - leaving me depleted and socially withdrawn.

If we want to go even further, another ancient system for personality identification, is the Enneagram of Personality model. There are different schools of thought among Enneagram teachers and so their ideas on some of the theoretical aspects of this system are not always in agreement and the theories are therefore open to interpretation. However, I seem to be strongly aligned to number '8' 'The Challenger'. This has a bizarrely accurate resonance with me - and therein contains the potential for both heroic acts at it's peak and sociopathic traits at the lowest level!

The Rebellious Type - First Born
Birth order affects the outcome of personality too. I'm the first born. This would have been a stressful situation for my parents as they learned to be parents, and stressful for me to find my way. At 4 1/2, my brother's birth would have been a shock and a downgrading of my position as the sole child. This would have had many levels of psychological impact on me and my position in the family. Frank Sulloway, author of Born to Rebel states: A real rebel doesn't only have problems with authority figures (like boss, teacher, parents, police). A real rebel has problems with everyone, including his or her lover, friends and strangers. And a real rebel also has trouble with himself, which expresses itself as self-destruction.

Not Looking Good - Or Is It?
So I'm a stubborn, introverted rebel, lacking in compassion or empathy. OR, I learn to explore the other side of my psyche - investing more energy and time in the parts of my personality that are lesser-known or utilised and through dedicated and focused practice, make concerted efforts to build a more robust and balanced personality and more flexible ego for better dealing, not only with myself but for interacting with the world around me. This is something we could all do more of. Habits can be unlearned and virtues can be practised. 

This point marks a breakthrough date along a focussed path of self-discovery. It's taken me 339 days to get here and I'm now better equipped to continue my journey with a clearer view on the horizon of where I choose to go next.

Non Violence

GANDHI

Today is non-violence day. It is also the anniversary of Gandhi's birth. This great man brought about a significant change in India, inspiring it's people to stand up against the oppression of the British Raj through non-violent protest.

Ganhhi was not always such a saintly figure. His actions were the result of his willingness to make changes to move away from his rebellious and wayward days as a younger man.

Gandhi's non violent protests helped the Indian people to fight against the cruel domination of the British. The non-conformity approach was how a revolution was started - for, without cooperation - there was non domination. This means of solidarity stands true of today's global oppressions and continued ebbing away of our human rights. It will at some point in the future be the foundation of change - and again, likely met with violent opposition and conflict.

The cruel irony of Gandhi's plight was that he was, at the end of his life, the very victim of the violence he stood up against, by being shot three times in the chest by a Hindu extremist at point blank range.

His memory lives on. He has inspired generations of civil rights leaders like Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King. His legacy continues to inspire many others to this day and his lessons on how to live a more purposeful life, taken in essence from the Bhagavad Gita, can be followed through the principles of Hatha yoga.

Running To – Not Running Away

ESCAPE TO VICTORY

Jonny Bealby's amazing story of travel, book writing and the events that led to him starting up an adventure travel company, all began with a tragedy.

When Jonny was 26, travelling through Kashmir, his life path took an unsuspected turn when his then soulmate/girlfriend died in his arms. Jonny was knocked sideways. So, while all his friends were getting married and embarking on a more conventional path through life, he was off riding solo on a motorbike through Africa.

His adventures across some of the most amazing and hazardous parts of the globe have inspired many others to travel and through investing energy in his travel company, he's found a calling that has brought both fulfilment and success.

In interviews with Jonny, he talks about his adventures and the inspiration taken from his many travels which inspired him to write books and in turn, how writing led on to making a TV show - things he believed, as a dyslexic, he'd never be good at doing. 

All the time he was moving further away from the path his friends were taking. By crossing continents on his own, often through dangerous parts of the world, everyone believed he was running away. And yet, when he returned to Kashmir, the very place forming the start of his altered path, he realised with his newfound success in the adventure travel industry, that he'd been running towards his calling all this time and not away from it.

Even The Greatest Minds Slip Up

WE ARE ONLY HUMAN

We cannot be perfect all the time. Don't be so hard on yourselves! Even the great sages slip up. The most inspirational of people like Ghandi, Mandella and even Jesus, have all strayed from the path.

Every day, we make decisions, which, based on our temperament, can be poorly executed through lack of sleep, hunger, stress and factors out of our control. 

The key is to recognise when anger, frustration and negative emotions are affecting decisions and those around us and try to make a correction or apologise for our unwarranted behaviour.

Making a note of the times when we are clearly not at our best and identifying why these behaviours have occurred, can help us to better manage moods and unlock hidden stressors that are the catalysts for any sharp, reactionary emotional outbursts. 

We should take these moments as a positive - because, it's when we see what underlines these behaviours that we can act and make the greatest improvements for personal growth.  

Discovery

DOORSTOP ADVENTURES

To keep our adventurous spirit alive, we have to daily seek out new experiences. Fresh perspectives on life will be found as we discover new horizons and we needn't board a plane to do this. 

There's so much adventure to be experienced from right here on our doorsteps and it often only takes a slight deviation from the path to stumble upon some amazing discoveries. We have only a limited time on this planet and yet, so many of us repeat the same old routines day in and day out, never looking to try something new.

There's a rich and rewarding world out there just waiting for us to discover it. New sights, sounds, tastes to sample and interesting people to meet. Some of this can be found just around the next corner. We just need to start off our day with an inquisitive mind and a realisation that so much can be discovered if we are open for adventure. 

Art as Therapy

ART APPRECIATION

Visiting the Hayward Art Gallery the other day has reminded me again just how great London is. Southbank is teeming with creativity and we have so many other great galleries and theatres all around London, that we really must get out more to appreciate the great work artists are doing.

Appreciating art gives us a moment to stop and think about what it is to be human. There is so much emotion embodied within works of art. I visited The Tate Britain some time ago and as I had a bit more time, I paid for the headphones so I could learn a bit more about the installations. It was a really informative afternoon and rather than just walk from piece to piece, I was able to really listen and understand what each of the artists had been trying to say, expressing their emotions on canvas or with their artworks.

I've just seen the entry for the BP Portrait Awards have now have closed - meaning the artworks have all been submitted and are currently being judged. I like trying to guess the winners myself and it's an exhibition we try and see with family which makes I nice day out too. So I will definitely be taking in the exhibition later on in the year (Exhibition from 18 June to 20 September). The picture at the top of the page 'Man with a Plaid Blanket' in last year's winner and was painted by Thomas Ganter.

Tate Modern

One of my favourite buildings in London - and a great space for viewing art - is Tate Modern. This is a place that I go to when I need a bit of an art inspiration fix. Just sitting in the turbine hall or up in the cafe looking out over Millennium Bridge at St. Paul's Cathedral are enough to give me a boost and there's always something interesting going on. They're currently building an extension which will have even more great things to see. 

Conflict

I'd been meaning to go to The Tate and see the Conflict, Time, Photography exhibition for a while - the photographs of  destruction caused during war are very powerful images and something that particularly interests me. So, after my boxing training yesterday, I took a walk in the sun through St Katherine Docks and over Tower Bridge down along the river. On route, I had a short stop at the riverside with a coffee to just sit quietly in the sun by a fountain away from all the tourists. After, I walked by The Tower and watched a military parade and gun salute opposite The Tower of London - a display for The Mexican Prime Minister who is visiting London right now. There was a great exhibition happening on the other side of the river too next to the Major's building, also centred around Mexico. I got to try a VR demo on the Oculus Rift headset in there, which simulated flying around Mexico City on a microlight! They also had a VW Beatle covered in over 1.5m beads designed to symbolise the psychedelic effects experienced from ingesting a particular Mexican hallucinogen. These beads were stuck there individually by a Mexican family and took 9000 hours to complete. I took lunch after at Wagamamas which is a great place to be mid afternoon when the crowds have gone. All in all, it was a great afternoon wandering around looking at great inspirational artwork and some of my favourite London architecture, St Paul's and The Tate.

Richard Tuttle's 'I Don't Know. The Weave of Textile Language.' in the turbine hall at Tate Modern.

The view of St Paul's Catherdral from the Cafe in The Tate Modern.

My first stop of the morning taking in a quiet moment by the river...

Art as Therapy
I read another of Alain's books recently which talks about the healing properties of viewing and understanding art/artists and the therapeutic properties of experiencing art in our lives. It really helps to open your mind beyond the day-to-day. I will try and take in even more art exhibitions, most certainly on a more regular basis to really make the most of this great city.

The School of Life

LEARNING HOW TO LIVE

It always amazes me when I observe how supposedly intelligent and 'wise' people are doing things that are not beneficial to themselves or anyone else. They're stubbornly stuck in their ways because they truly believe they know what is right - when clearly there are better more beneficial ways to do things...if one looks hard enough. A lot of people chose the easy and lazy option and it seems to be the older, well-educated and outwardly respected folk that get stuck in their ways the most. They don't like to have their thinking challenged and they stop learning & growing as a consequence.

Watching some more of Alain De Botton's short documentaries and reading The Consolations of Philosphy again, I've learned another truth today - we have to understand that failure and hardship are to be embraced as a way to improve ourselves. We should abandon comfort for true fulfilment. Nietzche said, 'That what does not kill me - only makes me stronger'. This is why, I've pushed myself in the gym, when I could have stayed at home - this is why I get out of bed early when I could so easily stay in bed and why I chose to avoid the comfort zone.

Another one of Alain De Botton's projects, The School of Life, has some great courses and a helpful list of good reads for better understanding how to live life. I cycled past it the other day. It's located in one of my most favourite areas of London - Bloomsbury. It's well worth having a look at the website, even if it's just for some reference for what to read. Alain also has his TV documentaries, Ted talks etc. on there too, which you can watch for free. You can learn about another great project Alain's involved with, Living Architecture - where you can book a room at some fantastic properties in the UK.

Burnout

PTSD

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's not just the armed forces that get affected. I've been reading some articles today about the effects of being subjected to sustained high levels of stress, the infectuous nature of working with trauma sufferers and fallout from being in this kind of environment for too long. Our front line could be the 9-5, the trauma sufferers our colleagues and the fallout can be the consequences from not dealing with something we're not even unaware of being affected by...

Numbness

When exposed to high levels of stress for sustained periods, soldiers have been observed to display behaviour changes in the form of; mood swings, anger outbursts, lack of empathy and numbness. There's also been studies to show how these same traits can be found in the office workplace - indicated by a clear increase in stress-related symptoms being diagnosed over recent years. A friend of mine who worked in the stock market, had to leave his job because it was affecting his marriage so much. He wasn't as aware of the changes to his character as his wife and friends were at the time, because he spent a major portion of his time at work. This kind of work, although well-paid, is known to be a hi-paced and stressful job. Being in media, there are known high-stress factors affecting certain roles, but being in an ever-more competitive market, the acceptable levels of stress have increased significantly across a multitude of roles and certainly not just representative of those with the highest salaries. So it's inevitable that more people are now working in an elevated state of stress which is not healthy for long periods and is likely why I've noticed the behavioural characteristics my friend, a high-earner from the stock market was displaying in more of my colleagues who are merely doing a regular job in lower paid roles. 

The signs that we're over-stressed don't show up as much until we're outside of the toxic environment. Our partners and friends will point out to us the times we're clearly out of balance. These can show up with an unexpected outburst in minor stress situations, for example; when driving a car. Other sure signs are fatigue - being exhausted at the end of the working week with no energy for the weekend's activities or isolation - unusually quiet/withdrawn & feeling flat/numb in what are usually known to be fun and upbeat situations. 

The feeling of numbness is hard to describe. You can be doing something fun or not so much fun and there'll be no great deviation from the line of zero emotion. There's no/little spike of excitement when there should b,e or emotion when something bad/sad has happened. It is interesting that I've been able to witness and observe these feelings in myself and mostly rectify numbness quickly & easily by readily having something on hand to jar the dulled brain back into life. For others, where they've not been made aware of their symptoms until they are close to burnout, it's maybe not been so easy to fix. 

Life Mantra

There's a simple way to keep on top of how you're feeling and that's to write things down. I've been doing this consistently since 2010. Every year I make a list of the things I want to achieve at the beginning and evaluate them at the end of the year. This is great practice as there's a master plan in place. But, you'll have some known truths about yourself that will help or hinder your achievements and this is where your mantra comes in. I write down what things negatively affect me - like being in a stressful work environment, dealing with difficult characters or having to repeatedly do things that irritate me. I'll then have a list of positives that I can also get from being in those environments/situations and have some extra known tasks, activities and tricks that I can draw on to help adjust the balance if the day is particularly tough. Some examples of these easy to obtain positivity enhancers are:

- Doing some exercise at the gym

- Riding my road bike

- Going for a walk

- Eating a nice meal

- Watching or listening to some comedy

- Watching an inspirational TED video

- Listening to music or a pod cast

- Sleep

The not so easy to get immediately but best positivity enhancers are things like; taking quality time out, ie. getting away for a weekend break or longer with partners and friends. These need to be factored-in regularly and there needs to be time for assessment and self-reflection. I now make regular checks every day when writing a blog and it's helped keep track of a number of things - in particular, the life/work balance. 

Get out and move on

Whatever your reasons for remaining in a bad situation/environment/job, when you realise that the positivity enhancers are being over-used and their restorative effects becoming weaker/not as long-lasting...it's time to look at options before burnout takes hold or manifests into something even more serious. 

The work-live balance

This article link gives a bit more info on the topic of working in toxic environments. I believe there's a lot more studies required, especially around having increased connectivity periods - the 24-7 smartphone phenomena means we're spending less time away from thinking about work. Certain firms in Europe like Volkswagen are realising the impact of having a poor work/life balance and are now regulating how much time is spent at work either physically or virtually by restricting hours and connectivity times. 

I have friends that are showing signs of burnout written about in here and I've observed some of these symptoms in myself too. High pressure is ok and can actually produce better, more rewarding results but we need to be more aware of the damaging effects that come from being exposed to sustained high-stress situations in toxic environments. If it's making us ill - It's time to get out. 

Old is just as good

TUNE OUT TO TECHNOLOGY

Often, the old fashioned methods are just as good. Every week in our Yoga/Pilates classes, there's a 10 minute bit at the beginning of the class where the teacher is either fiddling with the sound system or gone off to get someone to sort it out. This is because, the new system supports bluetooth. This is great. It means anyone with a bluetooth activated device, can link up to the stereo and select, adjust the volume and play music right from their phone. Trouble is, without understanding the technology and how to 'problem solve' when it's not working immediately, the old cable method works far better. I see this kinda thing all the time - most people just don't have the grasp or the desire to learn how to use technology. I also find myself spending far too much time updating, downloading, restarting and being stubbornly determined to succeed when the technology isn't working. I'm wasting my valuable time. Now what I do, is think what the older and faster way would be and try to do that instead.

Don't get suckered
New may not mean better. I don't like the new flat screen large format TVs. I find their hyper-realism can make older films look a bit strange - sometimes like they are shot in a studio (which they often are), but somehow, the magic has gone. This isn't something I would have noticed on my old CRT telly. I also miss the adventure of going in to a video rental store and picking out a film. Luckily, we have possibly one of the last video/DVD rental shops right here in Balham! The store is full of film memorabilia and there's a load of quirky B movies in here to chose from. I know we have a Netflix account and iTunes - but there's films in here that you'll never get online - 80's horror flicks that never went past VHS.

So, before splashing out ££££ on a new 'smart TV' - give yourself a reality check and realise this fact: we don't need to buy a new TV - because the charity shops are selling perfectly good ones for £20 - you can even get them for free from some places. This goes the same for phones - why spend £700+ on the latest gadget when you can get one barely a year old for less than half the price, or even one that does pretty much the same thing for a fraction of that price. If you're buying because you're believing the hype, then you're getting suckered!

Plex & Roku

I've just discovered a great bit of kit that means my parents can now watch all the great films, TV and utilise the benefits of having everything on their computer at the touch of a button to watch on their old (but still decent) non-digital CRT TV.

The Roku 2 costs just £50 and is really easy to set up on a home WIFI network and Plex can be installed on your iPad or iPhone (or android devices etc.) for even greater features too. We tested it out last night and watched an old little-known classic from the comfort of my parent's living room, called Galaxy Quest.

Technology

ALL IN THE PALM OF OUR HANDS

In this modern day - we're all becoming ever more reliant on technology - especially the kit in our pockets. There seems to be an app for everything these days. How did we get things done before computers? As it turns out, we got things done just as well thank you very much. This is my new thinking. Tech is great, but we already have a decent device built in - our brains - and I'm going to start using mine more.

The age of imagination

I'm in the age group that grew up BC (before computers) where we used our brains to make the best of our environments. Fun was improvised from combining imagination with a stick, a cardboard box & role play - not an iPad. We were fortunate to live in an era when kids went out to play all day long, doing things like building ramps for our bikes or making tree houses. At 13, I also had a computer for Christmas and I enjoyed playing games on it for limited periods of the day - because I enjoyed hanging out with my friends going for adventures on my BMX more. Whenever I wanted to meet with friends, we'd call, arrange a time and stick to a specific meeting place - and there'd be only really good excuses for a no-show and we'd be rarely more than just a few minutes late. TV would be allowed, but there were only a few channels and films would mean a special trip to the cinema. So Lego and Mechano were good alternatives for creating some fun - a book or drawing were also options readily available on-hand too. 

Memory Man

It seems we've lost the ability to retain info as our smart phones replace our brains. I'd become so reliant on my iPhone lately that I'd struggle to remember the events from the day until I checked my notes. I am in danger of becoming like the character from the film Momento - taking pictures just to remember what I'd been doing on a daily basis. 

Power of the pen

I used to carry a small notebook and pen around with me and jot down everything that I needed to remember. The process of writing - the physical actions of scribing and underlining, used to help cement the thoughts in my mind. With the advent of smart phones and the many reminder-note apps available, the process of making todo lists has become so easy that my phone has loads of them. They remain there still unchecked, likely because there are so many and the value of them has diminished. This is likely in part, because they have become so easy to make that they immediately get taken over by the next reminder. I have to jot down things before sleeping just to remember them in the morning or else they'd be gone from memory and this never used to be the case. 

Time wasting

So I need my phone to write my blog. I've ditched my computer for a few days and only checking emails intermittently and yet I spent ages farting around with my phone yesterday. No signal, wifi not connecting, blog not updating (losing recent changes), low battery, plug socket dodgy so not charging...sound familiar? This consumed valuable minutes yesterday as I tried to do some some tasks that took away from being in the present moment - and wasting time that I could have been enjoying. 

Time and a place

My time is going to be managed much better from now on to restrict using the computer or any smart tech unless it's really needed. I'll use memory visualisation and association techniques where possible or carry a pen and paper so not reliant on battery life. Phones will not be used when I'm in company unless it's a benefit for all...

Southbank Surprises

CONCRETE JUNGLE

We had such beautiful weather in London this weekend, so we walked around Southbank, sampling food from the many 'tastes of the world' food market. I love this part of London - the concrete architecture, galleries, BFI, bars and great things to do all year round. After having some beautiful snacks at the market, we took in an exhibition at the Hayward Gallery called History is Now: 7 Artists take on Britain. It was a massive display of British history and there was so much to take in, that we had to take a little cheeky snooze in one of the cinema rooms where a film was talking about the changes in community at a north London housing Estate. The exhibition covered some great topical events from the last 60+ years. Some of my favourites were of the un-PC advertising from the 70's and 80's mainly.

There was also a massive educational display focussing on the BSE and the Foot & Mouth epidemic that affected Britain (and eventually surfaced in Europe). I knew it was from mixing other animal remains, like sheep brains in cow's feed, but I hadn't realised this practice was know about for hundreds of years before - how could we have been so stupid? Anyway, I'd forgotten just how long this had run on for - no wonder the farmers were suicidal! I'm now lining up to watch Kuru: The Science and the Sorcery - which talks about similar symptoms tribesmen from Papua New Guinea had after eating human flesh.

The coolest bit for me was the Bloodhound surface-to-air missile positioned up on the roof, which is facing Russia - symbolic of the cold war. While we were at the Southbank, we also visited one of our favourite little hidden bars called Concrete - really great little venue - especially for this time of year and great for a bit of inspiration as it has a chilled vibe with rarely anyone in there to distract you from your thinking...We also spotted the Living Architecture hotel placed on top of the Purcell Room - A Room For London, a small hotel room inspired by Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness - which was also the inspiration for one of my most favourite films, Apocolypse Now. This installation was meant just for 2012 - but the ballot is open for a couple to stay 1 night up until the end of 2015.

Bull

TAKING THE BULL BY THE HORNS

I am going to see a play today called Bull, which is on at the Young Vic in London. I live in London and I love the theatre - but don't go nearly as much as I'd like. So, I'm going to make a much greater effort to see more plays over the coming months. I didn't get to a gallery or play yesterday - I was waiting for a call regarding something that is weighing heavily on my mind at the moment. I needn't have worried, the call was this morning instead. I really feel like I'm in a world of metaphors at the moment and how apt for me to be seeing this play today because I am currently facing down a bull. 

Using Time Effectively

I woke early again this morning and used the quiet time to listen to one of Michel Thomas' Spanish language lessons. I've tried these audio lessons before - but I've not used the first clear moments of the day to try learning languages before - and I'm finding it really sinking in when my mind and the world around me is quiet. However, as the morning has gone on, there's other duties and jobs taking over and distractions are kicking in. My mind is now also taken up with the metaphorical 'Bull'. So, I'm going to book the play, take in a yoga class to calm my mind again, then take my audio lessons on the tube, collect my bike and listen/learn Spanish while I travel around. Any other calls, emails and potentially - more to add on this blog post, will be made on the go....

Beacon Of Truth

THERE'S A STORM A BREWING...

I've woken feeling a lot more positive and inspired today! It really works when you consciously set positive thoughts in your mind before sleeping. The sun was out yesterday which helped with a low mood but it's looking a bit overcast today, so I'm really glad my head is in gear! I feel inspired to take in a play or gallery - so I've lined up my day.

I've got a tough job to do today involving work. It's not going to be pleasant and the picture above is a great metaphor because it reminds me of what's ahead. Looks a bit like something from Lord of The Rings to me...?! The break in the clouds is what I'm focussing on. The storm pictures of London can be found on Time Out (hope they won't mind me using it here!) - great online mag for finding stuff to do in and around a major city like London.

The morning will start with a 1hr boxing session - great for clearing any negativity and frustration. I'll then eat a hearty breakfast at one of my favourite cafes. Afterwards, I'll organise some of my things, collect my bike, deal with a tricky conversation and head to Tate Modern for some art inspiration.

***UPDATE***

So I decided to look at the day from an even more elevated perspective. This decision again has a significant value for me - and even though it's s Grey day, I can still see St Paul's Cathedral and it's still a great view from Oblisk @ The Shard.

Life Is A Game

LEARNING THE RULES

Here's a post I read a while back on likening life to a video game. It's pretty funny looking at it like that, life....one big game. But it's kinda right. This is a game. There's choices and moves and decisions to unlock new 'worlds' and new levels to get to once you've mastered the current one. If we looked at life more that way, maybe we'd all be better at it.

The thing is, the game of life can be tough. It can be dull and it can be a bit of a downer at times. We haven't got much time on this planet, but we can certainly make some good decisions to make the most of the time we've got. We can improve our bodies, change our routines, remove our bad habits, enhance our minds and make better decisions to improve the game and enjoy playing it for the most part. We just need to understand the rules.

Make Everything A Game
My partner and I make fun times of everything we do - every mundane task has a little game attached to it. Like food shopping for example, where we split off separately and race around the store getting the ingredients; seeing who has the best memory and who's first back to the till. Cooking becomes an efficiency test; playing up against the clock for the best use of time making a new recipe - always with a bit of kitchen tango thrown in. And there's always some treats set aside to reward any cost and time savings.

We also take pleasure in sharing all the chores and mundane tasks. It often pays dividends to volunteer, because extra 'brownie points' are awarded – which can be redeemed at a later date. Where there's 'specialist' jobs like driving (my partner likes to be chauffeured), there's other jobs which can be 'owned' – she's therefore become the master in charge of all journey refreshments and takes pleasure in having the right refreshments on hand. We're both tested on our respective jobs - and we'll pull out all the stops to ensure the journey has been properly planned; the vehicle prepped, maps sorted (with pit-stops) and the right snacks/drinks ready along with all eating/drinking apparatus organised. The trip is optimised to be the best possible journey. This may sound a bit obsessive to the outside observer, but we make everything involved with a trip more enjoyable and collaboratively, it soon becomes second nature ensuring all the bases have been covered. Consequently, we love a traffic jam and there's rarely any arguments on a journey, because contingency plans have been factored-in, plus having reserves on hand, means our blood sugar levels are always primed to keep us happy in any unforeseen travel circumstances.

The principles for making life a game, can be applied to a whole array of live situations – both good and bad. If something really isn't going as planned, when there's options available, the plan B can be just as fun anyway. And if things are really not going well....then, just like a game, it can be packaged away/switched off or rebooted and played again some other time.

Inspiration Overload

AN APPETITE FOR LEARNING

It's getting a little bit crazy in the mornings. Whereas I started the year with a blank mind and let the thoughts manifest on to the virtual page. I'm now having internal conflicts about what to write, when to write, how much to write and I've created a log-jam of new material to read, absorb and use - which I have to do before I can honestly write about the benefits. I need to de-clutter and get some order back!

I'm hungry for learning but I don't have enough time or the right head space to properly absorb all of it in a day. Every time I find another teacher or subject that interests me, I'll stumble upon another and another. There's just so much great stuff to learn.

So, starting from today, I'm going to set aside 2 hours to read, listen and watch my new material. I've added a reminder in my diary and a list of the things I'll be learning. I've allowed a bit of time to take notes after each one - as a way to help absorb the learnings and provide some reference for the content of my next post on them.

Quiet time

It's so easy to get overloaded and stressed by running a business, looking after a family or trying to fit relationship, work, friends, exercise and quality me-time all into one day. You don't need the extra stress from having inspiration overload.

I've started the day with just my blog window open and ended up with 17 tabs of inspiration. I've got over 70 podcasts lined up and 4 new books to read. Consequently, I'm behind on my blog. Today's topic was a subject about something completely different - but I've taken inspiration from what's right in front of my nose instead - having too much information to digest. Reading Paul Brunsun's piece about overload, I've remembered to 'stack' my reference pages out of sight - ready for a later read. A great tool for doing this is Pocket. It bookmarks all your pages into one place. You can add Pocket to Chrome as an extension and assign a keyboard command for even more efficiency.

{pause.}

I've just done something I should be doing more of - ie. taking time to look up. Quiet time and inspiration taken by lifting my gaze away from my laptop and peering straight ahead at the blue sky and view over London today. it's a beautiful crisp day - I'll have to get outside for a walk today too.

Looking out of the window in front of me, reminded me again of Leo Babauta's page from the other day. A reminder to be in the moment, to be present in the here and now, to breathe and be still. It also reminded me of Geoff Thompson's 'Everything is Scripture' podcast - everything I'm now looking at out of my window, is scripture and an inspiration. 

I will go back to these teaching again in the future....but for now, back to a bit of quiet reflection and on to my learning for the day