A Dedication To My Inspiration

AN INSPIRATION

Many things have come together over time to inspire me on this path. There have been dear friends like Dean who have been my spiritual guide and teacher for a long time. I've had his guidance gifted in a way that I could accept without being cynical. Geoff Thompson, who, via Dean, has been a generous teacher - holding up a mirror to my face, for grasping the truths that have been right under my nose - seen but not actioned until now. My work situation over the last six years has been my main conduit for change and the tragic ending to 2014 my call to action.

Not Forgotten
Toby Allnut was just 40 years old when he took his life. It was a tragic coming at a the end of a particularly tough year in my place of work, News UK. The date has a lot of significance for me as I'd just returned from a much needed break and this first day back at work, cemented my commitment from that day forward, the need for creating a new life for myself. While I had been away on this holiday, I'd acknowledged how my depleted my mojo was and how lost my soul had become. I recognised in myself where my lack of enthusiasm, almost non-existent empathy and depleted desire for doing anything, was causing a potential spiral away from my true self.

The fact that it had taken this long for me to see what had been right in front of my face for so long - and the inability to make the changes that were needed for this new path, was a revelation. It had only come while I had some time to myself for reflection and headspace for hatching plans for the new year.

Coming home to this tragedy - the death of a well liked man seen by all as very happy go lucky - with everything seemingly going well for him, was a clear indication of how some people are beyond seeing the problems before it's too late. For me, the similarities between me and Toby were a wake up call for action. I hadn't fallen to far, but I was definitely getting dragged down slowly and surely into a darker place, which may have manifested in a breakdown, illness or worse in months or years to come.

Out Of Control
A friend of mine came home to a note saying 'Leave your job - or I leave you'. It was from his wife who had seen his character and mood change for the worse. He couldn't see tnhe changes in himself and didn't leave his job. But a few days after, when he woke on a beach wearing his suit, he realised that his mind was out of control. He didn't remember getting to the beach nor why he was there - but his worrying belief, which surfaced some days after, was that he was going to walk into the sea. He immediately left his job and hasn't really worked since in the same realms - ie. a high paced and stressful environment. He's had to find other ways to pay the bills.

This friend's story has been yet another inspiration and realisation for me that without proper help or support from friends, family and loved ones - something a lot of people don't have available to them....especially single men, we can all lose control of our lives and not even our even knowing it.

So, thank you to all my inspirations - especially you Toby - I could have missed my calling or given it just a fraction of the dedication that it really needed. You won't be forgotten.

Teetotal

ALL OR NOTHING

A year ago today, I'd just returned from an all inclusive holiday to Lanzarote. Life had become particularly stressful around this time and I had overindulged one too many times on holiday with my partner and I peeling ourselves off the couch, bed or from wherever we'd ended up in the morning, still in our clothes.

I made a decision this day a year ago, that I'd give up alcohol from January the 1st. I curbed the Christmas drinking - avoiding as many 'Christmas Drinks' as possible, and stuck to enjoying just the odd tipple with family over the Christmas holidays.

I'd never intended to give up drinking for good, but managed pretty much the first 6 weeks of the year, then another couple of periods abstaining until the Easter holidays. It was a lovely, ordered, reflective period in my life year when I can say I was fully in charge of myself, my actions and much more able to deal with some heavy situations that needed clarity of thought.

My partner and I have just come through a heavy few months since summer where the alcohol has increasingly taken over the weekends and some of the week. It's come to a point again where it's getting out of hand again.

Alcohol is not good for us in many ways, but much of the problem is how dependent we become on it's use for social interaction and as a filler for possibly empty lives. There is so much more to living than getting drunk with friends and yet, that's what we tend to live for. Countless weekends have been spent getting drunk or recovering from getting drunk and the weeks lost in a haze.

The cost of drinking on health and the bank balance is one thing, but the loss of focus, drive and discipline means the demons of self loathing and shame that visit us the day after, can put us on a spin of depression that takes us down a harmful spiral where drinking really does become a problem.

The culture of drinking in the UK, means we are a nation of borderline functioning alcoholics, but there seems to be a new trend where more youngsters are drinking less or nothing alcoholic at all. It's hard to start on a non-alcoholic drive, but after a week of abstinence, it does get easier. So next year I will aim for a longer period of staying away from drinking. My goal of being a teetotaller for longer should help gain an advantage over my life and where I want it to go.

The Cost of Fun

WEIGHING UP THE COST

Drinking for fun is a double edged sword. While it can feel relaxing having a drink or two - there has to be a payoff. 

If we add up all the money spent on alcohol - we can see how much of our hard-earned cash is blown on something that offers very little return other than a few hours of relaxation or abandon. Counting the real hours of work against tax, outgoings like shelter and food - we can see the real value of our hourly rate of spends. 

If we consider that a pint of beer purchased in a London bar costs as much as a meal, we start to see more clearly how the balance of our spends is massively warped in favour of turning off our thoughts rather than tangible, positive investments for bettering ourselves.

If we can better monitor our spending, and see how our budgets are being hit, surpassed and ultimately depleting our savings on a daily basis, we can make better decisions about impulse buys and do we really want that pint of beer...

That's where an app for budgeting money will really help us. I've just downloaded one called Goodbudget - and set myself a tight £1200 for January. Let's see if I can make it work!

The Hustle

ALL ABOUT MAKING MONEY

Being able to earn enough money through our own means, from doing various different odd jobs, is fun but it can also be hard hussle. The hours can be quite anti-social and sporadic, as you take the money wherever and whenever you can. It can mess with your sleep patterns, throw off the routine and make you lose track of the days & nights. 

Missing the 9 til 5

While the ritual of a 9-5 job can feel like a bit of a grind, having the set location, times and 5 day week routine to follow, can bring some order into our lives put a regular and potentially much higher income on the table too.

Having freedom to work when we really want to work, means having more discipline to spend less, a greater will to seek out work, a strong resolve to stay out of trouble and the ability to put some hard work in on some jobs that are demanding, yet offer very little financial reward at the end compared to the salary gained through regular employment.

The pay off for having freedom to work away from corporate life, essentially means applying tighter reins to ourselves and our lifestyles. This means having a lot more discipline and control over our daily lives. It means saying 'No' much more often. 

Through careful planning, focus on time management and mindful objectives of how we obtain, maintain and retain work, dealing with our clients and suppliers in an honest and decent manor, we become the ambassadors of our brand. 

We can't afford to turn up and not deliver. There's no hiding, no shirking and definitely no feet under the table, which we find happening a lot of the time in the corporate world. 

Every day is a hustle - an urban forage of virtual beans and berries with a constant drive for finding that 'big game' that's lurking out there somewhere - the major prize, a giant, that once snared, will stock our reserves to help keep us going through the leaner times. 

Return To The Ritual

GETTING BACK ON TRACK 

After a summer of party excess, returning to a fitness routine like the strict one we were running back in the spring, was never going to be easy - just as any return from a break in the routine feels a bit tough. Fitness levels will start to drop pretty quickly if they are left without having any regular top-up maintenance. And after just two weeks, all the hard work that's been put in before will need to be invested once again.

Getting up at 5.30am is tough, regardless of whether you are used to it or not. But when there's been a lot of missed sleep plus other factors like high alcohol levels and the diet have been running out of control - stepping into a gym for an intensive hour of cardio and boxing training at 7am after a 6 week break will always be hell, no matter how fit you are/were. 

The first 15 minutes will be a shock. Any fitness indicators you benchmarked before, will be showing up well below previous levels. The good news is - that first workout, arduous as it may feel at the time, provided you push yourself hard...the following workouts will feel so much easier in comparison, as your fitness levels quickly return to their former peaks. So after today's session - it's all going to seem that much easier going forward for me and I'm already looking forward to my next one on Friday as well as my return to the fitness ritual.

Summer's Peak

AUGUST BANK HOLIDAY

The last of the year's bank holidays comes with mixed feelings. Easter felt like a moment ago and now we're already at the end of August. The time is going so fast and life is feeling so short. It's been a good year so far and the summer has been fun, yet, the bank holiday in August always feels to me like a desperate attempt to capture the last of good times before the nights draw in. It's actually still the peak of summer and we have plenty of time before autumn sets in again, so we should keep the keep the spirits high without going too hard with the party action.

I always seek to find alternative ways of doing the August long weekend, in some ways to avoid the madness and make it last but also to break the chain of waking half dead on a Tuesday. The options are always the same. Get away or stay in town. The roads, airports, trains are full, expensive and stressful places to be. The destinations are often awash with the die hard family fun seekers - their quest to keep the kids entertained at all costs, or the city escapees - avoiding being caught up in the inner-city endurance test that will be the Notting Hill Carnival or one of the many other festivals going on around the cities and towns.

I'm sure one day, I'll manage a stroll in the park, a read of a book by a brook or a quiet potter in the garden. Hopefully, if I get another 20-30+ summers, this kind of activity will be enjoyed in the last 10 years. For now, it's a mix of clearing some chores off the to do list, grabbing some me-time to read, write, play music and juggle friends, partying and fitting in some rest - so not to feel so rotten come Tuesday.

Wasted Talent

TALENT WITHOUT DISCIPLINE

Kirkland Laing had a gift. He was a naturally talented boxer who took on and beat the legendary boxer Roberto Duran in 1982. Kirkland, a Jamaican immigrant from Nottingham, who grew up in the poor parts of East London, had the prospect of becoming a success as one of the greatest British boxers, which would have brought Kirkland fame and fortune. But, Kirkland was someone who did things his own way and despite the best intentions of those closest to him to curb his partying antics (often going at it hard the night before a bout), he managed to blow his money and any future of making the millions of pounds so deserved of a gifted fighter. After beating Duran, he went on a year-long partying spree at the point when he should have focussed on becoming a world champion. Kirkland eventually slipped into obscurity, filling his days with gambling, drink and drugs. He could have taken a different path, but he lacked an important tool that talent needs in order to shine out - self-discipline.

Kirkland talked in this video about one day giving up his partying ways and writing a book on his life. A book has been written, but not by Laing. It's called 'The Gifted One' by Oliver Jarrett. This story of greatness unrealised is the same story we all can have played out in our lives if we allow it. Planning out our fun times to fit around much needed work focus can be achieved through having daily assessments and checks, insuring we never lose track of our intended life path.

Fun Allowances

KEEPING THE FUN TIMES IN CHECK

The Summer is a special time. It's an opportunity to venture outside more when the days are longer and brighter, to share experiences with our family and friends. 

This year, I've made a pact with myself to mindfully focus on making changes to my life. The years are rolling by and for the most part, I seem to have been living on autopilot. For sure there's been a lot of fun having a lot of fun, but now's the time to make better decisions to really make something of the coming years.

Whoever said you can never have too much fun, doesn't know how to really push it...because having fun can be tiring. And having so much fun that your brain is numb from the excessive partying, means the fun stops. And if you have some work priorities to deal with, this means the responsibilities fall by the wayside. August 17th is my other halve's birthday and it's always a lot of fun - but it starts beginning August and goes on for the whole month. So, August is always a measure of the fun levels. Right now I'm tipping on the burnout scales. Fun is costly too, so I think August is one of the most expensive months of the year for me. I'm now going to need a frugal few months just to get back in good financial health!

Next year is my girlfriend's 40. That means an even bigger celebration. So rather than start the summer in May, I'll look at having just a 1-3 month Summer of fun and use the time better for something constructive instead. That may entail taking on some project that needs full attention and commitment to keep me out of trouble but that will be my new quest going forward

Customer Services

GETTING WHAT YOU WANT

Angry, feeling let down or needing to vent about an injustice that has befallen on you? Customer service numbers are set up for the very purpose of dealing with any complaints we may have and to keep the customer happy. 

Turning On The Charm

Some poor soul's daily job, is to deal with a barrage of disgruntled customers that in some way believe they've received a poor service on some level or other. Out of the many people calling to voice their dissatisfaction, not one person is going to phone up and in a friendly voice say, 'I just wanted to tell you how pleased I am with your company's service/product'. It's unlikely that, in their haste to scorn the internet provider/phone network (or whatever they are angry about) service, very few will consider enquiring about the other person's welfare or what they plan for the weekend.

So, if you want to be in the tiny percentage of customers who recognise that another human being is on the other end of the phone / in the store / just doing a job to pay the bills, etc....be civil and nice. Make banter, get their name and start off the conversation with some friendly chit chat - followed by 'I apologise for what follows, as I've got a bit of a gripe about the product/service and I know it's not your fault'. See how much better the result is if you make it much easier for the other person to like and actually want to help you get a good result. 

A lot of these centres are measured on customer feedback - often with bonuses on positive outcomes. They are the ambassadors for the company after all. If they can offer a solution to retain a customer - and even encourage that customer to praise the service in a survey (they normally ask how likely you are to recommend to a family/friend) - they get job satisfaction and we get a good result. 

I have managed to turn around quite a few situations to my favour by being charming. With banks and mobile phone customer services complaints, I've even managed to get money back, bills reduced and extra benefits thrown in. Often too - the call had gone so well that I've even managed to get direct extension numbers and email addresses not usually given out to the general public, all making future customer service enquiries even easier to deal with. 

The bottom line is...remember to pull in your emotions. Detach yourself from the issue and connect with the person on the other end of a phone. Job satisfaction is the biggest motivator in any place of work. Give yourself the best chance of success by encouraging others to deliver and therefore allow both parties to get what they want with a satisfying smile at the end of the call. 

Battling Fear

FACING DOWN OUR FEARS

Fear is a very powerful emotion. When fear rises up in us it can take over all other thoughts and render us helpless. Overcoming these fears can be very tough to face up to, but simply 'removing ourselves' from the thoughts, by using a breathing meditation technique, where we can observe the thoughts as they happen, we can then see them for what they are - just thoughts.

While driving down to the South of France this weekend, I became very fearful. I was about to compete in the Megavalanche race which is a crazy downhill mountain bike event full of multiple hazards and potential for injury or death. I have been in many situations before on mountains where there is potential for such injury - but I've been younger, fitter, stronger physically and more experienced. Mountain biking is something I understand the physics of, know what the equipment is capable of but something I have only a small experience of doing and certainly not in a competitive arena before. I was beating myself up. Why am I doing this at 43, what am I trying to prove, do I want to risk being out of work or paralysed, will my girlfriend leave me, where will I get the money to pay the bills, how will I look to my friends when I can't do the race or if I'm airlifted off the mountain?

Nobody knew I was having these thoughts. I was entertaining them coming and going as I engaged in other conversations with my friends. And when I got a quiet moment, I switched over to being the observer in my head and just witnessed all the fear, paranoia and misery fight for attention. I actually found it quite amusing seeing these multiple facets of my mind being so blindly assured of their states of being, yet here I was, completely calm hearing them out until they exhausted themselves and went quiet. How refreshing to see these thoughts for what they are. They aren't who I truly am and by rising above them, they don't define me but merely fire off for a bit and then disappear.

When it came to the day to qualify and race - I was completely calm and ready. My self confidence and trust in my abilities were restored to the point where I managed to gain a lot of ground on the others in my race. And had I not gotten a puncture, would have put in a really good time, I'm sure. It's likely I'll compete again in the future but even if I don't, I know I have what it takes and this mindset and the technique for tackling fear can be applied to anything we do in life.

Observation
There are many techniques for facing up to our fears. Understanding where they come from through getting to know ourselves better will really help. To really fight them takes a lot of courage. Practicing the technique of removing oneself from fearful thoughts by observing as a third person as Geoff explains in this video, was something I'd heard spoken to me before, but suddenly appeared as a revelation this time I heard it. Once again I'm amazed at the timing that Geoff's wisdom comes through to me.

This video arrived in my inbox the day after my races and confirmed what I already learned to be true. Hearing these wise words from Geoff, who has been spending many years training and learning these observation plus other self mastery techniques, made me feel really pleased at my progress over the last 6-7 months. I've grown as a person in such a short period of time. And this is something we are all capable of achieving if we desire and allow it to happen.

Fear should not be given the power to take a hold of us. But by being courageous and harnessing this powerful emotion correctly, we can use this force to make us stronger and elevate us towards further greatness.

The Robot Human

MANAGING THE MACHINE

We are biological robots. We start off in this world with basic programming which we learn to master with the help of our parents. We then have other children and teachers at school to top-up the learning process and eventually we are set free to take this programmed human being out into the wider world where we bolt on our own extra software enhancements to make us capable of functioning in society. 

The Robot v Human

Knowing how and when to operate in the rational, logical programme mode is essential to getting on with other people in every day situations. We have been programmed to act a certain way from a very young age. Being polite, patient and considerate to others has been instilled - hard-coded in. It is not a natural trait to be unselfish and hence why we engage our practised mind to make us act correctly for better coping around others - especially in a work environment. We become like a programmed robot.

The problem with always having a pre-thought programme running, is that we never really get to enjoy the moment we're in. Allowing the times for us to be in a more 'child-like' curious, adventurous and creative state will enable us to have a freedom to be with others in a much more free state of being. And if we've given enough time to develop the robot, or rational side of our brains, we can be assured that the underline robot mind will stop us from coming too far out of our playful state to cause any harm to ourselves or others. It's essentially having the robot/parent state set up in a way that allows us to live as humans - playful, inquisitive and fun beings that we are.

Even The Greatest Minds Slip Up

WE ARE ONLY HUMAN

We cannot be perfect all the time. Don't be so hard on yourselves! Even the great sages slip up. The most inspirational of people like Ghandi, Mandella and even Jesus, have all strayed from the path.

Every day, we make decisions, which, based on our temperament, can be poorly executed through lack of sleep, hunger, stress and factors out of our control. 

The key is to recognise when anger, frustration and negative emotions are affecting decisions and those around us and try to make a correction or apologise for our unwarranted behaviour.

Making a note of the times when we are clearly not at our best and identifying why these behaviours have occurred, can help us to better manage moods and unlock hidden stressors that are the catalysts for any sharp, reactionary emotional outbursts. 

We should take these moments as a positive - because, it's when we see what underlines these behaviours that we can act and make the greatest improvements for personal growth.  

Daily Intentions

SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT

Watching someone like Lee Holden, who has inspired me to practice Qi Gong every morning - I can clearly see someone who is truly happy with what they are doing in life. Success has followed happiness and Lee, it seems, is becoming the ambassador for an ancient eastern art form that brings health and vitality to himself and into the lives of millions. 

Having partners, family, friendships and work commitments to maintain/keep, means we're compromising ourselves a lot of the time. This means our fun, companionship and family/work relationships and all the responsibilities they entail, can temporarily detract us from where we are aiming to go in our lives. 

Everyone has intentions, but for most, they are not clearly defined. They are led by desires and easily changed through lack of focus, manipulation from others, or lost through intoxication. It takes extra effort to stop ourselves from being pulled off the day's intended path. It's that feeling, waking after an unplanned, late night of alcohol-fuelled shenanigans that the things you'd planned to do, got thrown out of the window. It's these situations in particular that we all wish to be more in control of – always seems like a good idea at the time...

Letting oneself down, feeling weak-willed and a failure - these are very negative thoughts that need to be avoided. Fun is an easy detractor from a path of intention, so there have to be pre-thoughts for the day to make allowances for these times when we're more susceptible to losing track of the day. A simple few minutes to think through possible scenarios and levels of flexibility for the day is all is needed to avoid having those dreaded feelings of self-loathing. There's always going to be other opportunities for fun.

Every evening, I will look at the following day's calendar of proposed events, my intentions and what I want to get out of the day. These intentions will then be discussed with my partner to better understand her intentions for the day too and we'll look at the possible factors that could scupper plans. This way, we will know what it means if we fall too far from our intended paths and already have a plan B to fall back on.  

Packaging

JAZZING IT UP

Making something look premium is pretty easy if you know how. Selecting the right colours, typefaces, language, mode of delivery and environment it's delivered in, can all sway a consumer to invest that few pennies more in a product. 

We are all being sold to

Everything we do, every day, in all walks of life, we're being coerced - and for want of a better word... 'tricked' into parting with our money. Some products may be better quality than others but quite often, we find that some items will actually be inferior to other products but appear more valuable by simply having a stronger marketing/advertising appeal.

It really does boil down to the power of the advertising. And with food, it's the packaging that works so well. Take this example from packaging agency Design Group Italia, who have done a great job with Lays Crisps. Look at this product subjectively without packaging around it. Crisps or potato chips, are just slices of potato fried in oil. But put them in a gold foil bag with classy black and gold outer packaging, a signature-esque 'Gourmet' script/font, descriptive terms like 'exquisite' or 'excellence' and some quality photography & layout design to further instil a premium feel. Voila, you now have an expensive fried potato.

It's knowing when the premium products really are what they say they are and not just jazzed up with packaging, that we can make better choices. So, are crisps really as gourmet as this pack of crisps say they are? No. But we are all easily hoodwinked when it comes to a bit of jazzy wrapping - even on a pretty simple (but tasty) product, like a bag of crisps. Once we realise this, we can understand where clever marketing draws on our inner desires, address this addictive behaviour and beat our impulse buys.

Transactional Analysis

ROLE PLAY

Humans are social creatures. Every interaction we make with someone else in every task we do, has some form of role play involved. We adopt ego states that make the transaction process go a certain way. Understanding the role play scenarios, what each wants to gain through the action of their role will help bring about the best course of action for obtaining a successful result at the end.

There has been much research on this subject of transactional analysis and learning what this research teaches us about ourselves can be a real benefit for personal wellbeing and positive results in life.

Click the above link for an in-depth description - below are explanations of the Adult and Child Ego State for examples of role play:

Adult Ego State
The Adult ego state is about direct responses to the here and now. We deal with things that are going on today in ways that are not unhealthily influenced by our past.

The Adult ego state is about being spontaneous and aware with the capacity for intimacy. When in our Adult state, we are able to see people as they are, rather than what we project onto them. We ask for information rather than stay scared and also rather than make assumptions. Taking the best from the past and using it appropriately in the present is an integration of the positive aspects of both our Parent and Child ego states. So this can be called the Integrating Adult.

Integrating means that we are constantly updating ourselves through our every day experiences and using this to inform us. This can be achieved by producing a daily blog - as I am doing right here.

In this structural model, the Integrating Adult ego state circle is placed in the middle to show how it needs to orchestrate between the Parent and the Child ego states. For example, the internal Parent ego state may beat up on the internal Child, saying "You are no good, look at what you did wrong again, you are useless". The Child may then respond with "I am no good, look how useless I am, I never get anything right". Many people hardly hear this kind of internal dialogue as it goes on so much they might just believe life is this way. An effective Integrating Adult ego state can intervene between the Parent and Child ego states. This might be done by stating that this kind of parenting is not helpful and asking if it is prepared to learn another way. Alternatively, the Integrating Adult ego state can just stop any negative dialogue and decide to develop another positive Parent ego state perhaps taken in from other people they have met over the years.

Child ego state
The Child ego state is a set of behaviours, thoughts and feelings which are replayed from our own childhood.

Perhaps the boss calls us into his or her office, we may immediately get a churning in our stomach and wonder what we have done wrong. If this were explored we might remember the time the head teacher called us in to tell us off. Of course, not everything in the Child ego state is negative. We might go into someone's house and smell a lovely smell and remember our grandmother's house when we were little, and all the same warm feelings we had at six year's of age may come flooding back.

Both the Parent and Child ego states are constantly being updated. For example, we may meet someone who gives us the permission we needed as a child, and did not get, to be fun and joyous. We may well use that person in our imagination when we are stressed to counteract our old ways of thinking that we must work longer and longer hours to keep up with everything. We might ask ourselves "I wonder what X would say now". Then on hearing the new permissions to relax and take some time out, do just that and then return to the work renewed and ready for the challenge. Subsequently, rather than beating up on ourselves for what we did or did not do, what tends to happen is we automatically start to give ourselves new permissions and take care of ourselves.

Alternatively, we might have had a traumatic experience yesterday which goes into the Child ego state as an archaic memory that hampers our growth. Positive experiences will also go into the Child ego state as archaic memories. The positive experiences can then be drawn on to remind us that positive things do happen.

The process of analysing personality in terms of ego states is called structural analysis. It is important to remember that ego states do not have an existence of their own, they are concepts to enable understanding. Therefore it is important to say "I want some fun" rather than "My Child wants some fun". We may be in our Child ego state when we say this, but saying "I" reminds us to take responsibility for our actions.

Re-Doubled Effort

MAKE THEM GO THE EXTRA MILE

When the you've been promised the earth and been let down - don't get angry. Suck it in. Because you'll get a lot more out of someone if you are calm, smile and say nothing. You'll get nothing if you have an argument. Things don't always go to plan. There's always factors out of our control and things we're completely unaware of that could jeopardise a venture we've set our heart on.

I've learned that as soon as there's a problem with a service or a facility, especially if premium money has been paid for it, it's a given that that there'll be something given out to compensate for what seems to be a shoddy delivery. It could damage their reputation, especially in this day and age with such fierce competition and feedback being posted on the internet. Not only will being decent when you want to shout at someone in frustration make everyone feel better, but often, the effort put in to appease a disgruntled customer can prove to be worth more to us in the end than what we originally aimed for in the first place as they go the extra mile to appease us.

Communications Management

PHONE ETIQUETTE

It's great having an all-in-one communication device. It's really good for keeping abreast of what our friends are doing and communicating with them when we want to. Trouble is, there's going to be times when we don't want to be communicated with and there also needs to be times when we are not using the phone so we can enjoy what we're doing at that moment - like sharing some quality time with another group of friends.

Unfortunately, a lot of folks just don't have any phone etiquette. They clutch it in their hands, like a security blanket and check on it regularly like a new born baby, oblivious that every moment they check their phone, is a moment taken away from the situation they are already in. They don't realise that it's disrespectful and rude to the friends, family and colleagues they are meant to be with in that present moment. They are being ruled by the phone.

Do Not Disturb
There's a function on iPhone (I'm sure they all have them now) that allows only favourited contacts (like your mum & dad or partner) to get through, pushing everything else to voicemail and keeping any other notifications quiet too. Switching over to this silenced mode is my first thought when I take my phone out to a function and I'll now often keep this mode on while I'm working and whenever I'm needing a bit of quality time to do something like: watch a film, read a book or take a walk in the park.

Everyone should be using this do not disturb function. It will not only help us to stay more focussed on a task to increase productivity, but also improve the quality of moments we share with loved ones.