Behind The Mask

KNOWING WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT

We place great significance on the tasks we perform daily. The actions we take are used as a gauge for determining our happiness and success. Small wins and easily fixed problems are like little boosters for our soul. They bring meaning and purpose to our lives.

Dealing with minor 'problems', leads us to believe we're being useful in some way. They come to define us. By becoming the 'solutions' finder, we feel important...necessary. If we can identify/fix these problems, and in the process, shift blame to take responsibility for someone else's alleged failings, it helps us feel like we're really tackling what life throws our way. In the process, we offload some pent-up frustration as we continue to divert our nagging attention away from the bigger issues.

Often, far higher levels of importance are placed on these adopted menial problems to better prioritise above and/or mask the real issues at heart. They get actioned first, when in fact they should feature way down the list or hold no significance at all.

Acknowledging what's really important in our lives and placing them near the top on the to-do list, will often uncover masked feelings of frustration and fear. These suppressed emotions keep us from facing life's realities and ultimately stop us from being our truer selves. The challenges can be tough - hence why we tend to sweat the small stuff instead.

Many people place far too much importance on the trivial. They build up strong fixed ideas of right and wrong. These fixations help distract their minds away from what they really should be thinking about ie. what's really important in their lives. The stronger the fixations, the more they are hiding the truth from themselves. Deep down, they are unhappy.

Focussing on the niggles & gripes or little wins & losses, may appear to be an easier mental state to be in. Stressing about the trivial rather than focussing on relationship health, personal growth, physical wellbeing and job/financial satisfaction, can be much easier to deal with in the short term. Busying ourselves with small stuff leaves little or no time to address the much needed life management.

Burden Management
Filling our days with distractions, will help hide the truth from us. It could be said that having children also moves focus away from the self. Having kids can nicely tie up the mind for 20+ years. It's possibly why so many chose to have them when their relationship is starting to wane, only later opting to separate when looking after children ceases to be such a strong distraction.

So having no children and fewer worries to tie up the brain, allows much more time to look inward. This makes for an uncomfortable mindset. It can feel like a heavy sack weighing you down. But, being mindful of this sack is far better than denying it's there. Acknowledging what we're carrying, stripping away what we don't need and managing the weight as best as we can - this will bring happiness. Because, if we allow it to happen, this baggage will become heavier over time and eventually wear us down - it will stop us from moving forward. This is where depression is rooted. 

Lose the Mask

It's when we come up against people with such strong fixated ideas of right and wrong, obsessive attributes on matters like overly-strict time keeping or having strong emotional reactions to seemingly menial concerns, that we should be aware of possible underlined deep rooted issues placed at the heart of these controlling behaviours. 

If we allow it, we can become these broken people. We need to face our demons to overcome them and not just block them out with trivia or create fixations on nonsense. These monsters break through at our lowest ebb, like when we're tired, numbed from too much alcohol or later in life when the burden of carrying the load becomes too much to take. Don't allow these gremlins to grow - be brave and start today. Drop the meaningless and focus on what's important instead.