The Office

A PLACE OF WORK

The office is really just a modern day version of a factory - a cacophony of clattering keys & swishing of mice, with rows of workers busily churning out endless digital iterations of work from computers where once in their place stood looms spinning reels of material and furnaces spewing steel.

We haven't come all that far from the industrial revolution in terms of how we work. There's still the clock in/out format of an 8 hour day over 5 days a week. We still have the need to travel to and from a set place of employment and hierarchy of overseers to ensure the virtual cogs keep on turning.

We have mobile technology to work with including many forms of communication, so why are we still following this outdated Victorian work model? 

There have been many attempts to 'jazz up' the workplace by adding all kinds of 'fun', colourful, quirky props and gimmicks that are supposed to make the chore of going in to a box and sitting in rows of desks alongside people we barely know, more bearable. Why are we essentially spending increasingly more time with strangers, than with our real friends or loved ones? 

Work Isn't Working

The modern office has many flaws. Gone are the days of doors. Personal offices, if they are still used, are exclusively the places for the top exec to reside in. Everyone else is out on the 'shop floor', where they are more visible and readily available for interactions. 

This means extroverted sales people can mix with introverted creatives and anyone can approach whoever they please to get what they 'want'. Yet, loud pushy sales people are arguably not going to be a benefit to the quieter creative types and therefore dealing with a barrage of requests can distract us from the task of actually doing the work. 

There are clear preferences for Myers Briggs introverted personality types to have solitude and arguably, there have been many good books and cases brought to the attention of office environment architects that highlight the problem of having such open-plan spaces. It's been shown how in-effective these places can be for the many introverted thinkers who require quite solitude to conceive or creative new ideas. I look forward to the day when the work revolution finally comes.

Free hand drawing

DRAWING ON THE SOUL

Picking up a pencil today and drawing something freehand - the first time I've really dedicated time to this kind of illustration in a very long time - ie. away from a computer, has shown me how relaxing drawing can be. By connecting the body with the mind in order to focus on drawing a smooth curve, straight line and filling in areas of colour without going over the lines, we help quieten the mind to distractions and noise.

We can draw pretty much anything, but, interestingly, if we choose serene or inspirational scenes, we can benefit in more ways through expression of the art. There are many different ways to use art as a therapeutic and healing technique.

In China, where the characters forming the Chinese language are painted with brush calligraphy, the skill is treated as an artform which has the power to heal the body and develop character. Every member of the Chinese elite has to learn how to express themselves through beautiful calligraphy and consequently, there are masters of this technique who are highly revered, with their work displayed in galleries and museums throughout china.

Inflexibility To Change

STUCK IN THEIR WAYS

As we get older, it's a sad fact that we are more likely to become less flexible in body and mind. According to a study made by Virgin Active, people by the age of 25 are already stuck in their ways. Choosing the same routines and even ditching the hobbies they used to enjoy, many people give up on trying new things. 

Change is difficult for everyone. Because we become creatures of habit, preferring our established truths about the things we know and lazily sticking to the same old things rather than looking for something equally as good or better. 

We should all try something new on a regular basis. There's so many new things to experience. If we can keep up these challenges for 30 days in a row, we end up forming new habits and suddenly, we have a new habit or routine. If we can choose positive changes and remove negative ones in the same manner, we will become a much more flexible and constantly evolving individual.

Survival

JOHN PERCY

John, who I met by chance the other night outside Truro Cathedral, is currently the longest surviving HIV sufferer in the UK.

John has survived a brain haemorrhage, being beaten up (on more than one occasion) and suffered abuse wherever he goes, even from within the gay community itself, mainly, it seems, for publicly speaking out about HIV and Aids. Over the years, he has worked tirelessly for Aids charity organisations and spoke out previously on BBC radio about the lack of funding and general ignorance about this disease. This man, whatever his story and whether he is someone likeable or not, all foibles aside, is a survivor of the highest order.

He has inherited a terminal illness and when being informed that he had just 3 years to live, has stubbornly refused to let this take him to an early grave. Although terminally ill, he has remained alive and active on this planet for 30 years whereas many others have given up and conceded to an earlier fate.

He now has painful aids-related cancer in his body but still manages humour and civility. Meeting with him outside the cathedral in Truro on Thursday night, I was touched by this man's courage in the face of death and his attitude towards living life. No matter that it has been tough and at times very painful, he still holds on to what time he has left and makes the best use of it.

300

HAPPY 300th FOCUS DAY

Today marks the anniversary of 300 consecutive days writing a blog since starting on the 1st of January 2015. This is by no means my last day and signifies nothing more really than benchmarking the last century before reaching my 365 goal, but doing this feat for 300 straight days is an impressively high number all the same.

The idea of writing every day came about by chance. I wanted to get up early and get my thoughts out in the open and see where it led me. I can still clearly remember that first morning. As the world slept off it's hangovers, I was looking at a blank screen and waiting for inspiration on what topic my first blog page would be about. I wasn't disappointed in what my mind chose to write and the words have continued to flow freely from that day forward. The first week was a monumental milestone for me and as the following weeks came and went, the one month's milestone was special. It confirmed something I already knew...that I was well on my way to change.

Today, as I hit the 300 day milestone, it's still a significant number but it's essentially just another daily reminder - as have been all those other days. They reaffirm my decision for positive change.

This live journal I'm writing, with daily evaluations accessible for all to see and play witness to being learned. It is a clear indicator of progress. It's something we should all try and do. The content should not be a concern - as the words should flow freely from the heart.

And if the idea of publishing content for all to see is too much of an intrusion into our private thoughts, there's a great website that someone has created for this very purpose where the content is hidden, so nobody but you can look back on your 'brain dump'. The website is called 750 words. 

Expectations

UNDER PROMISE - OVER DELIVER

Given a chance to do so, we all make up our minds about what we are going to like based on our expectations. 

And if we're primed with high expectations, we'll need to have them met or surpassed for us to truly like something and credit it with it's dues. Otherwise we are left with disappointment when the result fails to deliver.

Modesty

The key to a successful delivery, is to be a little modest in the offering and under-sell something or give a delivery time longer than is actually needed. This works well in a work situation. Supplying a client with something better than they were expecting to get and giving it to them early, means they will be really happy with the end result, even to the point of awarding more credit than the deed or product actually deserves. We just need to be careful with our planning in these situations to ensure the best of our efforts are rewarded, recognised and we're not 'busting a gut' to deliver something unappreciated or taken for the norm.

Busy Busy

FINDING TIME

How do people manage with children? It seems to consume the lives and energy levels. If there's a job and travel to consider on top, where is the time for one's own enjoyment?

I'm selfish. That's why I'm not having children. It's not that I don't like kids, it's just that I want to get stuff done and there isn't enough time available in my day as it is. Once we take an 8 hour job out of the way, there really ins't much left for enjoyment. We have to factor in buying and making food and there's a lot of other chores to take care of. Once we take care of all the priorities, make sure we're keeping in with our families and friends, add in some exercise, made our ablutions and personal care/grooming, the bit remaining should be used to evaluate/take stock/assess the status quo and make plans for ways to improve our lives. 

Making Time To Learn

I barely have time to fit everything in, but at least I've managed to keep a routine of fitness for physical management/improvements. I've also read a lot of great books this year. And every day when I read a bit more, I'm finding myself saying in my head or to whomever will listen - 'everyone should read this book'. Just as everyone should take more time out for community & political matters, volunteering time towards doing charity and generally giving everyone about them the time and attention they deserve.

Unfortunately, people would rather waste their precious limited time reading poor newspapers, playing with smartphones checking Facebook status (or similar), procrastinate/lounge around watching trash TV or get drunk. We all need to free up our time more in order to understand what is happening in the world today. I'm sure much of the distractions are geared up to distract us away from the real agenda and keep us busy.

Time and again I've asked people to get on board with political issues that affect us all (I am not politically minded), or read an article/passage in a book that has been a revelation to me, yet they don't have the time - or rather they can't make the time. But better organisation of our time, with prioritisation of the most important matters - real matters that is - will help everyone to find time to improve themselves and ultimately the lives of those around them too.

Londoners

TRADITIONAL LONDON

Where are all the original Londoners going these days? There doesn't appear to be many traditional places left in London where true Londoners hang out, leaving me increasingly in the minority of those born and bred in this city. 

Anywhere in London with any real character seems to have been bought out and changed beyond recognition. The heart has been sucked out of our high streets and replaced with a soulless pastiche of establishments filled with money-orientated rich-wannabe patrons where those who frequent them aspire to nothing more than having high streets lined with more over-priced artisan vanity projects. 

The real Londoners must be moving out to Kent, Essex and the shires, because the bustling, vibrant high streets and community-rich markets & shops have been replaced with whoopsie wine shops and boutique delis. The once before vibrant pubs, where the landlord knew your name, are now either shut down or transformed into dull middle class 'gastros', where bugaboo pushing couples sit with their equally boring mates, discussing mortgage loan rates and their next DIY project.

I bumped into a lovely couple staying at The Merrymouth Inn in The Cotswolds this weekend. They inspired me to look for the real London again. Places that still exist where roast potatoes and shellfish are laid out on the pub bar for it's patrons to enjoy (for free), where bustling markets echo with the cry of a London trader, plying us with prices in a cockney fashion and long established eateries with traditional pie 'n' mash, eels and liquor can still be found at a price we can all afford. 

Eels had seen a bit of a decline since the 70's but are now steadily returning to record numbers once again. This enigmatic creature, once the staple of the working classes, seems to be making a comeback. Maybe this marks a metaphorical return to a real and proper London - one which I'll be seeking out over the coming weeks. 

The Nearly Haves

KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES

We all want to fit in. That's why we mostly say, wear and are keen to be seen mixing in the right circles. 

The clothes we wear, the places we frequent and even the beverages we drink, are all measures of who we are and our actions often subconsciously taken to help secure our desired places within society. 

The class system is one way that society measures our status. If conveniently tries to form us into a demographic that we can be identified being in. It's not an accurate or even humane way to classify groups of people - and that's the way it's been for years. That model is essentially the model for deciding 'the have's and the have not's'.

In the UK, we have come to resent the working class and demonising them to the lowest ranks of citizen. They are often now referred to as chavs. 

This kicking of the working classes has come about due to a change in the types of jobs available in the UK. As manufacturing has taken a move to countries with abundant cheap labour, the remaining manual jobs are mostly unskilled and therefore low paid. 

In the scramble away from lower income or no jobs, we all try and move 'up' into a more prosperous demographic called 'middle class'. This class grade is essentially the new working class and those aiming to be seen as true 'middle-class' fervently try and ascribe themselves as the 'upper-middle class' or as close to the privilged 'upper-classes' as they can.

Working class status merely appears to be given to any of those in a paid manual job. And, as I've seen from doing manual work recently, it tends to be a lot lower paid than the computer-driven sedentary office type jobs - likely because it's seen as less cerebral. This shouldn't really be the case because work is work right? An hour of emails in an office should be no more valuable than one hour of painting a wall or fixing a car. In fact the reverse appears to be true. So there needs to be much more balance in the pay packets. Because, there's one clear distinction in our aspirational class system between the upper and the so-called working classes - and it boils down to money. 

We are all trying to move away from the lower paid jobs (or benefits support) that our working classes are lumbered with and this is because we want the trappings that money brings. We want to be seen to have enough money for the holidays, cars and house extensions as a status symbol for demonstrating to other's that we're further away from the bottom rungs of society. 

Therefore, we continually compete with our friends and neighbours to stay ahead of the curve. This creates a cold elitist type of mindset which alienates not only those people that are seen as 'lower' classes but also pits us against everyone seen to be in the 'competition' for these privileged places. The phenomenon is witnessed in any establishment that we visit where the prices are way above what we are normally paying for. There's a reason why we are here instead of the sumptuous, friendly BYO, family run Italian/Greek/Lebanese/etc place down the road. We're keeping up appearances. I particularly dislike eating in any restaurant where the food fails to resemble food anymore, doesn't fill you up and costs more for one course than I'm used to paying for a week's shop for two in the supermarket. But we tend to hang out in these establishments with our set of friends that talk too much about increased house prices in their street. It's probable that they don't want to eat in the cheaper eateries for fear of being seen as poor. If you find yourself in one of these 'premier' haunts, look around and you'll see lot's of 'wannabe's' sneering back at you. There appears to be some kind of illusion, where we kid ourselves and anyone else who cares to look on - that we have somehow 'made it'. 

How much money we earn will determine what car we drive - in itself, a massive statement for displaying financial wealth. Also what postcode, street or size of house (we pay massive mortgages on) will determine where we are placed amongst our contemporaries. 

In today's UK market place, the differences between someone living in a small-medium sized house in the more central parts of London and someone with a similar sized property in the suburbs, is often substantial in terms of money - usually a few hundred thousand pounds separates the haves and have nots. However, the larger and more desirable parts of London have now been taken over by those few who are in the upper echelons - who have made house prices so ridiculously high, we consequently have a knock-on effect that ripples all the way down to the regular folk, who now can't even afford the suburban properties any more. 

This bun-fight to keep ourselves in the middle classes set, is making everyone work harder, longer hours under increasingly stressful conditions - and for what gain? A new SUV that blocks the roads on a school run? A messy extension project that pushes up house prices while we live miserably in a bomb site for 6+ months - or a much needed holiday that we only start to really enjoy in the days before returning home to our over-priced bomb site and 50+ hour a week jobs.

There Is Another Way
If we can take a more sharing community approach, to better connect with our Joneses - maybe we can share rather than buy new cars, swap gardening tools, kids toys, clothes and help each other with the DIY etc. - creating a collaboration rather than competition. Then surely we'll all be much more free to enjoy sharing the fruits of our labour together.

Shirking Responsibilities

HOT POTATO

In yoga they teach us how to avoid getting caught up in the emotions and sways of everyday life. It's difficult to remove ourselves from the day to day roller coaster, especially when we're caught up in the rush hour, stressed through delayed/cancelled public transport or crushed with someone's armpit in our faces - the things that are mostly out of our control. That's why it's important to practise methods for detaching ourselves to the negative things that potentially harm us and deplete our energy.

I get the impression that yogis don't negotiate their way on public transport in rush hour that much and I don't think they spend much time in office environments either. Maybe that's why they chose being a yoga instructor over an office based career, because they wanted to detach themselves from that daily assault that most of us have to put ourselves through...

So, if we can endure the daily commute during rush hour without getting affected, we are already using avoidance techniques. It's these methods that we can also employ for use in other situations too. One of the big stresses in our lives is work and that's where we need to find our best methods for detachment away from stress created and multiplied by others involved in the projects we collectively work on.

One of these techniques for detachment used by certain individuals in the work place, I call the hot potato. This is essentially where someone shirks their responsibilities by diverting the work onto their colleagues. This is not a helpful technique for those on the receiving end and arguably one of the greatest stresses we'll encounter - especially with those really hot potatoes!

It's a bit like the game of pass-the-parcel from nursery school. But instead of a toy in wrapping paper, imagine a hot ball of energy, that we all carefully take turns with. As we pass on hand to hand, each turn partially diffuses the heat as we all take our role holding it. Now picture when one person essentially bats it on to the next recipient without skimming some of the accumulated energy. Without energy being dissipated through the group's collective responsibilities, the energy ball grows hotter as it gains greater momentum. This creates an energy 'spike' and a potentially stressful situation for the following person/people to try and manage. More energy is used up and because the recipient wasn't prepared - their energy reserves are tapped into and depleted.

I witnessed this phenomena first hand in a group where I was working yesterday. One person's role was compromised, likely because they are now leaving their job for a new one. They had shirked their responsibilities and taken a day off without taking enough care to ensure their part within the team had been completed or covered with extra resources. This obviously affected the next two people further along in the chain. But everyone in this collective was affected to a degree as the stress-bomb hot potato takes it's toll on all that are close to it.

Some people can help avert a stress-bomb like this - whereas others will just pass on the potato making it even hotter. It's important to have advance awareness of these types of stress situations and know the people that potentially cause them. Because recognising when this situation arises and averting the damage caused well before the hot potato comes hurtling our way, will be one of the greatest stress avoidance techniques we'll master in life.

Marketing Madness

THE LATE SHIFT TEAM

There's a lot of low-brow, manual jobs out there if there's a need to earn some extra cash. However, a lot of them are requiring messy, unsociable hours for very low income. Somebody has to do it, but I earned more money per hour on my paper round at 14 years old than these adults do per hour 23 years later on.

Since the summer, I've looked at multiple ways to earn some cash to keep me from getting into debt. It seems there's no shortage of work, but the type of work that everyone is expected to do, is often poorly briefed/managed with little concern for safety and personal wellbeing, plus it's physically demanding. 

I took on a role last night starting at 7.30 for 4hrs, on a role I expected to be really easy...stocking merchandise in a department store. I'm familiar with marketing roles from my time working at a marketing agency 10 years ago, so I already had some expectations going into this job. Evidently, as I discovered, quite a few things have changed in the time since I last worked in this field...

Management

The person organising and briefing us was late. She was also exhausted. In the 30 minutes while we waited, the rest of the crew filled us in on the shenanigans from the previous night's work. Unorganised, with no information about what was required and no food or refreshments given for 12-15 hour shifts, it was a wonder why these people were coming back.

Online (Dis-)Connection

There appeared to be very little interaction with any of the staff working from the many cheap labour online agencies prior to the event. So, everyone had expectations, but nobody seemed to know what was required of them until they actually arrived at the venue. There was a huge disconnect with the agencies booking the staff on to these jobs. And this was clearly a problem for everyone who'd been hired from their various (online) employers. None of them had spoken before - let alone met any of the agency staff that employed and managed our bookings. 

Low Income Expectations

I was not expecting there to be anyone older than myself at this job. I also thought to see more uneducated and a high percentage of non-nationals. This is where the biggest surprise came. There were a couple of older white middle class women and post grad students, making for a split closer to 70-30 against all the stereotypes I had for those who are willing to take on hard, long, unsociable hours doing low-paid/low-brow work. 

It appears that more people are either intent on leaving the office & abandoning corporate life like myself, or more likely just financially desperate and having to take on additional jobs to pay their escalating bills. 

Resistance

ABANDONING ABANDON

Letting go of anything is tough when it's been all we know over extended periods of time. 

The summer has been fun. It's been a gift to myself to enjoy carefree abandon and enjoy having the reins off after a strict first third of the year. But now it's long overdue for a change back to a more disciplined regime. 

I can clearly remember resistance to the spring/summer mindset change back in May. I didn't want to lose my clarity and healthy regime. I didn't want to drink or have late nights. Now the reverse is happening and coming back into a tighter regime, is proving to be tough. I am experiencing resistance to a new mindset. This is normal behaviour in every change we make. It takes time to adjust and we always want to fall back on what we know and take what feels like the easier path.

Adjusting To A Yoga Way Of Being

I'm taking a level 1 yoga course at the moment. It's really starting to delve into a changing mindset as a positive move towards a more mindful and spiritual way - one that is not conducive to mix with the current party goer. 

I need to make a complete change to the new mindset if this is going to work and breakthrough these barriers of resistance if I'm going to make the necessary improvements in life. It may take more time, but knowing it has to change is a good start.

Decision Day

CLOSURE

It's been a long and arduous road dealing with a tricky work situation. And today marks the moment to finally make a decision on leaving this work drain behind me to put the whole episode to bed. 

It's clear the company has issues. They are not my issues to fix, but I have tried my best to raise a flag of warning that their work practices are making people ill. It's now up to them to make the right changes for improvements. 

I'll be checking one more time with a legal professional before the final forms are signed, but really, it's a matter of moving onwards and upwards as soon as I can and making the most of my quality time again without the ghost of my working past hanging over me.

Giving It Up

HOLDING ON

Some things are worth fighting for. But other things are just not worth taking to the death. Keeping a hold on something that leaves us with feelings of anger, will cause even more harm as we draw out the healing process. The mind and body are closely linked, and as a result, we manifest the held on to emotions in our bodies. Therefore, if we hold on to the anger, we potentially make ourselves Ill. 

Martin Adams was a fierce campaigner against the IRA. He stood up against terrorists who threatened his family and made multiple attempts on his life. Despite nearly getting killed in shootings and having to hide the identities of his family including young daughters, he has managed to survive through a turbulent period, whilst also standing up for what he believed in and refusing to be bought off or moved on through fear. 

Letting Go

This weekend, I met Martin's daughter, Amy. Ironically, she has just come through a tough period very similar to my own, dealing with an unfair situation at work. 

Amy is a very bright girl and talks highly of her father. Her situation was something that her father was keen to help her fight as the unjust treatment of his daughter touched at the heart of his moral core. Amy initially fought against the company's injustice, but after the best part of a year, she let go of the company and moved on. I was surprised. 

Hearing everything Amy had just said about her father and his courage standing up for what he believed in and against such great adversity. Why did she give in to this much smaller life situation and essentially allow this company to 'win'?

Winner

Amy said to me that she is the winner. How so? Because she now gets to live her life. Every day after she made the decision to sign an agreement not to sue the company, she has felt the anger towards the people who betrayed her, slowly fade. It's like a heavy weight has been lifted from her shoulders and, said Amy 'I wish I'd taken this decision sooner. And that's why you need to let go too'.

Hearing this savvy young girl's advice, I can see she's right. In some spiteful vindictive way, I want to punish the people who are dealing with my dismissal. It's hurting me spiritually as much as them too and on multiple levels, I'm sure. 

This coming week should see some kind of resolution to this current situation I'm in and I will be thinking of Amy's wise words when I choose the right course to take and ultimately let go of this heavy weight on my soul. 

Looking for the positives

POSITIVES FROM A NEGATIVE

Today I heard the phrase 'maybe you'll turn that into a positive' and thought about how powerful that phrase is in our lives to encourage change.

If we all look deeper at the negatives in our lives as a lesson for us to learn from, negatives can actually turn out to be considerably more positive than a standard positive result is.

Not only do negatives give us a greater reference point to aim higher, but going for a positive outcome, can help us to achieve a far better result through the work we have to put in. And because working towards positives gets us to think deeper, we often learn something as a result.

When we talk of negatives, they sometimes originate from positives in the first place. As an example, I'm currently run off my feet today. I am trying to cram everything in to a shorter time frame. Because I worked a full week contracting for someone else, I'm having to be very efficient with my time to fulfil my own objectives today. I'm feeling negative about losing my free time. But I shouldn't see it that way.

The last few months have been busy, but busy in a way that allows lots of 'in-between time'. This relaxed time has been great, but there's been little urgency and this mostly uneventful time has left me with no money as a result. If I've had no work and I'm suddenly too busy to do much else, I shouldn't be negative about the fact I'm really busy right now.

So we actually have a great positive there - I'm not only bringing home the much needed money but I'm also filling my days with lots of things that challenge me. Time feels elastic and days longer. If the personal objectives can still be achieved in a more condensed time frame, then the opportunities for making money and essentially 'saving' time in the process, should also be viewed as a positive.

Working Celebrations

BIRTHDAYS & LEAVING DO'S

There's occasions when we have to work hard to prove our worth and there's occasions when we have to play hard at assuring our position in the company we keep. 

By company - I could mean a collection of people that are our friends - or alternatively, our work colleagues. The same rules apply for both. 

Miss a friend's birthday and you risk becoming less of a friend - even in just some small way. While a work associate may not think too badly of you for missing their birthday, by making an effort to celebrate with them, a stronger allegiance will definitely be formed. Work colleagues will be forming allegiances and friendships in all kinds of subtle ways and it pays to have as many of them on your side as possible. 

At work, we are measured on our work output to a degree but someone who is well liked by everyone, will go a lot further - even if their work contribution is questionable. It's a sad truth. And that's why going for social drinks is just as important in a work environment as it is with the mates and why birthdays & leaving do's are the most valuable events in a work calendar if we're to stay friends and keep in with the right crowd in the work place. 

Boozy Business

SOCIAL WORKING

We spend a lot of time with the people at work. And we all like to work with people we like being around. That's why socialising is key for getting and retaining business.

It's a fact. Booze wins business. The act of buying someone a drink,  having some decent chat when we've loosened up and getting to know someone beyond the pleasantries and becoming their 'friend' essentially, means we're more likely to get their business in future.

Calling up and arranging for a 'drink' is an easy way to get back into someone's frame of mind after a short absence. So, even though it's been my third night on the trot and I really didn't want any more beer, when I got asked to go down to the pub for a quick drink tonight, it was always going to be a yes to the boss. And a quick beeline to the bar for that first goodwill friendship gesture will mean a few favours and forgiven's are banked for more work to come further down the line.

Corporate Carrots

DANGLED DREAMS

Talking with a friend and ex colleague yesterday, it was interesting to see how the lure of a pay rise and new job prospects within a company already employed at, can keep us trucking on longer when we are more than ready to move on and often, actually hating our jobs.

We are mostly optimistic in our viewpoints. It's a common held on to belief that optimism is hard-wired into us in order to have a more rosy viewpoint on life. Just as we deceive ourselves that getting older is ok, we weight our opinions in a more favourable 60-40 or 70-30 split in favour of something that a rational mind would likely give opposing figures for. It's called Optimsm Bias and it helps us to get through life, but it also keeps us in situations that are detrimental to our wellbeing.

Having a masked sense of happiness in the face of an obvious (to me) situation where the warped truth is affecting someone to such an extent both physically and mentally - but not properly registering with that person who's in that situation - is a clear indication of how strong our optimism can be in the face of reason. Seeing and hearing my friend talk about his dilemma, which was a clear 100% 'get out of that job' decision from my standpoint, was a revelation for me. Seeing how I was in his position just a short time ago (even at the same company), explains to me how I also managed to cope with staying in a bad situation for the last five years.

As I listened to my friend questioning the stress he was feeling - putting it down to the likely result of his personal and not his professional life - I realised just how powerfully this warped optimism bias plays it's role in keeping us held in sometimes terrible situations. Bad job, bad relationships, bad living conditions etc. We all have the power to change things, yet still we don't make the steps.

So, my friend was questioning if he should stay at his job and potentially get a pay rise. The answer to this question was blazingly clear to me, but he continued to go back to the flimsy hope that the dream role and pay rise would come soon, which realistically had a next to nothing chance of happening and certainly not to the level he envisaged.

As I looked at his pale face, with dark rings under his eyes, hunched over, supping his beer, I was instantly transported back to my stint served recently at the same employer and how I also convinced myself to stay on, falsely believing things were going to improve. They never did, of course - in fact they got steadily worse - but I clung on to the hope/belief that the changes were coming and therefore blindly fixated on the potential for change that shoulda, coulda happened... which ultimately never came.

It's certainly an eye opener and something key for realising in ourselves, that we need to listen to our sound reasoning more. Through having quiet moments in meditation/yoga, we can better monitor this reality optimism bias scale to ensure the bias is levied in our favour more often and the real carrot of hope is not dangling on the end of a pipe-dream string.

Mind Over Illness

DONT LET THE FLU BUG BUG YOU

'It's that time of year.' I'm hearing this phrase a lot lately in connection to a bout of colds that are doing the rounds. 

The place where I'm currently working is rife with sniffles and coughs - some absentees even (which has been to my benefit). And because it's held in popular belief that a change in the weather brings colds and flu, a lot are succumbing to the bugs. But not me. 

It's All In The Mind

I can't afford to be ill, particularly at this time while I'm low in funds. I've already managed to dodge colds at the beginning of this year, particularly at that time when winter turns into spring and 'that time of year' phrase gets bounded around for the first time. 

It's amazing how we succumb to language and popular opinion if we allow it. This learning all comes back to my very first posts of 2015 - the ones about being up early in the morning and essentially getting a jump on our brains, the day and what we want out of it. 

This morning was another clear win for me. I got ahead of the cold, did my yoga and daily positive affirmations. Lo and behold, I'm still feeling tip top, when I could so easily have told myself I was getting ill and made that become a reality.

Back In The Rat Race

THE LURE OF MONEY

Today marks the first day back in the race for me in 7 months. While I never wanted to get back on the corporate wheel,I just can't earn enough money from doing manual work and odd jobs on the side. As much as it pains me, I have to get back on the hamster wheel to earn more money. I wonder now how the majority of low income earners can actually survive in this town, let alone have a good time with what's left of their meagre earnings?

So, my bank account and credit cards are all looking pretty dire at the moment. My mental and physical state has been benefitting from the rest I've had away from the grind, but needs are a must.

So how did my first day go? It was a real eye opener. First of all, the London Underground at 8am is hell and I'd forgotten how bad travel is at that time. It's a terrible way to start anyone's day. Stressed, tired and generally fed up Monday morning commuters all trying to squeeze on to the train at the same time is no fun. How do we do this five days a week? The early starts are much better. 6.30am tube travel is a lot my relaxing, so I'm glad that's going to be my journey time tomorrow and likely for ever more.

The real eye opener was at the place I worked today. I had a similar job back in February. I spent five years at the same place and today highlighted just how bad that other place was in comparison. I felt like I was operating at a snail's pace compared to the speed worked at in the previous establishment. So, although I'd made a decision to opt out of the commercial rat race, I now know it's possible to stay in it. I just need to work at the right places, with the right amount of money and less responsibility. The money that I earned today will be more than I earned all last week. I'm amazed to say this: I'm actually looking forward to working again tomorrow and taking the money.

Pockets And Jackets

KEY KEEPERS

I really don't like losing things but it happens to us all from time to time. To avoid this from occurring, the key is to limit the risk. I'm going to say this, in the hope I never have to back track...I have never lost a wallet or keys, or a phone for that matter. 

The reason why, I follow a routine and always keep the keys, wallet and phone in the same places. That way, I know where they are at all times. But, if I'm going to lose a wallet or keys, I want to limit the losses as much as possible. So, I rarely carry much cash in my wallet and pretty much keep the contents to a basic minimum. Bank cards, ID/licence, gym card and £20 cash. That's it.

I also keep my keys to a minimum. I never take a massive bunch of keys around with me. My keys are kept in groups. House keys, bike lock keys, car keys, garage keys. I add or subtract as necessary. If I travel, I take just the door keys. On the door keyring is a little engraved plaque with my phone number and email address. Worse case scenario, I misplace a set of door keys and someone will hopefully see the contact details or it's only £10 to replace them. 

I always put my keys in the same place on the dresser every night. Otherwise, they stay in the front right pocket of my trousers or shorts. I never carry them in a jacket pocket. Same goes for wallet. As I only ever carry the bare essentials, my wallet is small enough to fit in my front right or back right pocket, I never need to stick either of these valuables in a jacket. 

Lost Property

The amount of times I've lost or left a jacket somewhere - countless. Lost property is full of them. Hence why I never carry my stuff in a jacket pocket. It's a no brainer really, travel light and keep the important things close to hand. Simple. And yet I know quite a few friends who, on a seemingly regular basis, lose phones, wallets and keys - and of course their jackets too. 

Remembering Youth

THE BENEFITS OF WISDOM

When we are young adults, we start to believe we know best. We've been on the planet long enough to learn what's right and wrong and needn't listen to our parents and peers to inform us otherwise - what do they know? A lot it turns out. 

We should try and remember how we were in earlier years. It helps us communicate better with the young. As much as we try, it's still difficult to convey how we know more, as they (I remember) don't want to listen. Life is a path of discovery and rediscovery. Even now, in my 40's, I'm still essentially the same person, but I have a far wider scope and perception than I had previously. My parents will have an even wider perspective and our grandparents an even greater viewpoint of the world.

In western culture, we tend to ignore the elderly and what they have to say. We certainly don't look after or up to or appreciate them as other cultures do. This is certainly something we need to start doing more of and listening to our elder's life-earned wisdom is a good start.

Critical Thinking

DEALING WITH CRITICISM 

Taking criticism is tough. When you've invested a lot of time and effort into a project and put it out there for the rest of world to enjoy, only to receive criticism. It can hurt when certain individuals appear so determined to destroy everything you've put your heart & soul into producing. Yet this is what happens to even the greatest artists and scholars. 

Everyone is a critic these days. Trip advisor is full of criticism both good and bad. Amazon relies heavily upon it's reviews, as do all the main shopping portals. Even Uber has a rating system for our cab rides. And with Twitter used as a modern day soap box, a virtual pin board of feedback for all to see, we really have no way to opt out from criticism. 

Criticism can be good too. If it's delivered to us in a way that helps us to improve our offering, via constructive feedback, then we can take the necessary steps towards greatness. The problem comes when criticism is thrown out for no apparent reason. And if there's a following bringing momentum to a criticism, others quickly jump on the band wagon. Then the labels can stick. One example I recall where I also joined in the jibes, is from the Spitting Image days. 

Spitting Image was a satirical puppet show which poked jibes at members of government plus famous film, TV and music celebrities too. Celebrities like Phil Collins got a lot of flack. Spitting Image was a funny show, because it made some of the serious government figures like Ronald Reagan (President of the USA) and Margaret Thatcher (Prime Minister of the UK), look comical, at the same time as getting across some underlying political message. Some of the MPs like Norman Tebbit were portrayed as a bit of a no-nonsense cool-headed hard-nut, so he actually liked his puppet. This puppet portrayal actually elevated his kudos to a much higher status than he deserved. Phil Collins however, became a bit of an uncool joke at the time. It may have started with Spitting Image, but whatever created this badge of un-coolness, it stuck. 

To be a fan of Phil Collins, you keep it a secret for fear of being labelled uncool. His music topped the charts in the late 80's and early nineties but the emergence of dance music, meant a movement away from Phil's style of music. So, those wishing to be seen as part of the musical revolution, went a long way to distance themselves away from chart pop music. Consequently, he was hounded and ridiculed by the press until eventually, after years of media abuse that affected his record sales (and also to avoid hefty tax payments), he moved to Switzerland and into semi-retirement. 

Fast forward 20 years - I can now appreciate the body of work that Phil co-created in Genesis, and all the chart toppers he wrote/performed in the 80's. The mid to late 80's and early 90's saw a change in popular music, with the emergence of boy bands, chart winning take overs by Stock Aitken & Waterman creating a lot of cheesy pop tunes and this sped up the masses move away from Phil's music genre to a more cool, underground dance music scene. 

A lot of my generation were keen for a music revolution to happen, so Phil was an easy target for rebellion. While Phil's era isn't exactly my preferred style of music now, it holds nostalgic value and I recognise its value much more than I did at the time in the 80's. 

My point here is that we can easily be swayed by others to follow, disassociate or condemn the work or character of those that are putting their neck on the line, so to speak. This is especially true of the youth. In their quest to move on the older generations, they may inadvertently speak harshly of those who are at their peak, to bring about change. This is no help from the media either and there are often commercial interests at the heart of all this. 

It isn't just a revolution in music that we see causing such harsh criticism, it spits venomously from 'budding critics' on IMDB when discussing films and we see humanity is at it's most base on sites like YouTube, where some of the vile jibes are arguably diffused because they are deliberately antagonistic and childish, but still harmful. Wherever the forum, the fact remains, we need to be more decent and constructive in how we feedback. 

These creative, brave & generous souls who choose to bare their souls through their art, acting, writing or singing, need to be recognised more for their contribution, plus appreciated/praised for having the guts, to put their work out in the first place.

If more critics were to take a stance from this point of view, then arguably more of us would pluck up the courage to do what we believe in. Success would be a lot easier to achieve, by avoiding having so much flack from those whose taste is merely different or just too slow to adapt.  

Morning Rituals

SETTING DAILY INTENTIONS

Starting each day with some clear intentions about what we wish to achieve both short and long term, will help us to focus on the goals we are aiming for in life. The best way to to this is to set aside some time for some short morning rituals.

Waking Thoughts

If we get a restful night's sleep, the mornings can be our most productive time of the day. And, if we keep things simple, we are more likely to stick with a regular pattern. There are few things we can do from the moment we wake up:

To start on a positive note and to set clear objectives for the day, turn off your snooze function. When the alarm goes off (or you are well enough rested to wake before it does), follow these steps:
1 Take three very deep breathes. Getting fresh supplies of oxygen into our lungs will be a sure way to signal the brain it's time to get up.
2 With eyes closed, say out loud or in your mind: 'Today is going to be a great day. I am going to make the most of my time. I will not let anyone or any thing take this day away from me.'
3 Count out loud (or in your head) 3-2-1-UP!
4 Jump out of bed.
5 Splash some water in your face, clearing sleep from your eyes
6 Drink a glass of water
7 Look at your day's calendar and todo list then write down your planned objectives for the day

Once you've looked at your tasks, providing you've risen early, you should have time to get the body and mind up to speed for that busy day. Two great ways to prepare mind, body and soul are Qi gong and Yoga. The following 10-20 minute morning rituals should give you the necessary boost of energy to tackle whatever comes your way:

Qi Gong
For a gentle start to the day, with body movements for all ages and breathing, centring techniques, this is a lovely way to start the day. Lee Holden has a great 10 minute video which is for all levels of ability.

Yoga - Sun Salutations
Sun salutations are simple and an effective series of yoga postures that invigorates the whole body. These poses are a great way to focus the mind and gently stretch the body in the quiet moments of the morning and can also be practiced before sleeping to help quieten the mind and encourage a deeper, more refreshing sleep.

Meditation
Sitting or laying still for 10 minutes one or two times a day on waking and before sleeping, will help to centre us before or after a busy day. Allowing some time for ourselves, even if just 10 minutes, is a sure way to keep our minds quiet and relaxed. There are a number of apps for iPhone or Android that will help keep us calm even when we're on the go.

Positive Affirmations
It sounds simple....yet we are all susceptible to it - ie. the influence of other people and the power of words to lift us up or bring us down. It's been clearly shown that our mind and body are closely connected and will be affected by repressed negative feelings and emotions of guilt, anger and frustration etc. We can all be better at being aware when influenced by others but the worst offender is ourself. Tell yourself that you are ill or tired, you will be ill or tired. It's just negative affirmations. A friend of mine is always up for a bit more fun than we should be having on a school night and time again, have we listened to the birdsong on a Tuesday morning and had to go in to work after very little or no sleep. The key is to tell ourselves that we've had a restful 8 hours sleep. The amazing thing is that it really does work! So, to kick off your morning, find a mantra that works for you. Here's one my partner and I chant to each other every morning. ~ay it out loud three times (breathe in and out deeply between each) and really mean it when speaking aloud!

1 I draw unlimited energy into my body.
2 I feel more energised with every second
3 I feel AMAZING!

Create Your Soundtrack
Music is a great medium for lightening a mood, chilling us out or bringing back happy nostalgic memories. Stick on some happy, uplifting music in the morning and create a positive soundtrack for your your day.

Holy Tree

THE BANYAN TREE

The Banyan tree (also known as the Peepal and Bodhi Tree), is an ancient fig found in and around India and Asia. It is the national symbol of India and figures prominently in several Asian and Pacific religions and myths as well as in Homer's great Greek tragedy, The Odyssey.

There are famous Banyan trees planted at Buddhist temples, including one called Bodh Gaya at the original site where Buddha was said to have meditated and found enlightenment. The original tree was destroyed a number of times but replaced by another holy Bodhi tree, using saplings from the original lineage. There's also a famous tree in Sri Lanka called Jaya Sri Maha Bodhi, which is the oldest living thing, planted by humans. It has a plant date from 288BC and the tree originated from the southern branch of the famous Bodhi tree that Buddha himself meditated under. 

This tree has healing properties, and great significance in Buddhism, Hinduism, Jainism and Yoga philosophy.

Stress Relations

MANIFESTATIONS OF STRESS

Back problems can be a manifestation of stress, called Mind Body Syndrome or TMS. American doctors are now talking more about the symptoms of back pain being originating from psychological issues and there's been a few latching on to the idea now here in the UK too.

Those suffering with chronic back issues, and wishing to avoid surgery (often not required anyway), have been looking inward at any psychological factors that may be causing the symptoms. 

I've been suffering with lower back, neck, shoulder and elbow pain over the last 5 years. I have been scanned, stuck with pins, had electric nerve conduction studies and all kinds of therapies, some of which have been assessed by some long-standing professionals in the field of medicine. Yet no answers from any experts of how to fix these pains. It's just a part of getting old, I've been told or wear & tear and I've been told to just try and manage it as best as I can. 

After reading about TMS studies and learning more info on some on the common findings in individuals suffering from stress related ailments, I have clearly seen parallels in what my symptoms are and seen how my job & working environment plus other life circumstances have affected me psychologically to such a degree that, even after months of rehabilitation, the symptoms still persist. 

Through yoga, Qui Gong, meditation and having a better understanding of myself, including my character type (which appears to suffer the most from this stress syndrome) and hearing about other people's stories, I am much better equipped to deal with the healing process with the new tools I now possess. 

Stress As A Friend?

Stress affects us all. Stress is also good for us. It readies us for challenges and helps us achieve goals. But too much stress can be a killer. Understanding when stress is good and bad, will help us manage our lives better and we'll know when we are over-stressed. 

Everything has a cause & effect, and we are influenced by everything we see, hear, read and believe. Hence, the the idea that stress can be damaging, according to Kelly McGonigal's video below, is actually more harmful than we realise, as we place so much power on words, we feel stress effects psychosomatically even when the stress we are experiencing is normal and healthy for us to better perform. 

Go Posh

OPTING FOR QUALITY

After a three night stag-do weekend bender, the mind and body are feeling a little weary, so it's going to take something special to bring energy levels back, where I can feel good once again about taking on the day's tasks.

The madness that is termed the 'stag-do', has finally come to a close. The bravado has ceased and I've survived with nothing broken or lost and my dignity in tact. I now just need to get the brain functioning properly and decent food will be essential for repairing the alcohol-drenched, sleep deprived brain cells and to replenish the dancing legs. 

Making Good Food Choices

There's a wealth of choice here in Brighton, but it's raining and making the right food choices when we're run down, cold & tired, means we'll likely get this important key food decision wrong. 

A big sloppy plate of greasy, stodgy food, like a classic full English, may seem like a good idea, but the environment is not likely to be that great. Also, those cheap fry ups aren't the most lovingly prepared meals so it won't look that appealing and cheap processed, fried ingredients might not actually be all that good for us either. It certainly won't make us feel vital or back on form, unless we go for a 'posher' option. 

Côte To Coast

Côte Brasserie is one of my favourite, reasonably priced restaurant chains. They consistently deliver quality cooked & tasty French cuisine. I's one of my 'go to's' when I want something palatable that requires limited decision making on my part, because I can be assured they have got it right on so many previous occasions. 

The breakfast eaten at the Brighton branch this morning, was up there as one of the best I've ever had. The waiter patiently waited and assisted me in my decisions for designing the breakfast I truly wanted. The different menu options had elements I wanted in each, so I selected my perfect combination of ingredients, containing quality minerals, vitamins, protein, cabs and good fats. 

The French chef cooked everything to perfection in just the right quantities of food and placed everything on the plate in a well considered and presentable fashion. 

The friendly & accommodating waiter lovingly knocked up a delicious mocha and gracefully brought everything over to me, including filtered water, a fresh press of cloudy apple juice and a smile. I'd already identified the best table and feng shui position to be sat in. So before commencing my sumptuous meal, I took a quiet moment to look around and fully appreciate what I'd paid a premium for. 

For just a few extra pounds, I was sat comfortably in a spacious, beautiful period building with a well designed calming interior and pretty much had it all to myself. I had chosen an establishment where the staff are skilled at ensuring their clients are happy. Hence, I'd gotten my meal today totally bespoke and without any fuss either. I could leisurely tuck in to this sumptuous meal, with just the light sounds of some chilled tunes playing in the background. I was in the perfect environment for reflection on how great the weekend had been and was savouring the delicate flavours of a well-prepared quality and hardy meal whilst simultaneously flicking through the news and writing my blog. 

This meal wouldn't have had the same effect on my mental state if I'd opted for a cheaper greasy spoon cafe and arguably this experience has been so exceptional, that I don't even feel like I've been on a messy full-on weekend any more.