Detachment

EMOTIONS

Being able to control the emotions for acting rationally in a situation where others are losing their head, is a great skill. Emotional detachment for action in tricky situations, where we seek the correct motives for action based on sound ethical and moralistic grounds, is how we should all act.

Removing emotions from decision making and using intellectual judgement, is fine for the times when fear, anxiety and purely narcissistic characteristics cause us to take the wrong approach. But having an always purely rational and intellectual contemplative approach could mean the emotions we suppress are taking a hold in other areas of our psyche, manifesting in our bodies and coming out in unexpected ways and at times where we have either no recognition of these emotions, where they have come from or we are unable to attach ourselves to them - because of a disconnect with the ego called emotional detachment disorder.

Emotional Release Practice
Extreme cases where people feel like an outsider - actually having a disconnection with themselves and experiencing live as if they are watching a film - can be triggered by traumatic life events.

Possible ways to connect with the emotions that have been repressed, is to use art. Creative writing, poetry, paining or singing, allows the emotions to rise to the surface before one identifies them. Identifying the feelings and finally letting them go, like the release of a balloon, can help to remove attachment to the trauma.

Releasing ourselves from the Ego and dealing with the anxieties and fears at the heart of our problems, is difficult and strange for some to take on. We need to go through healing stages on our journey. Passing through stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance which is a difficult process but an inevitable path of emotional healing.

Decision Day

CLOSURE

It's been a long and arduous road dealing with a tricky work situation. And today marks the moment to finally make a decision on leaving this work drain behind me to put the whole episode to bed. 

It's clear the company has issues. They are not my issues to fix, but I have tried my best to raise a flag of warning that their work practices are making people ill. It's now up to them to make the right changes for improvements. 

I'll be checking one more time with a legal professional before the final forms are signed, but really, it's a matter of moving onwards and upwards as soon as I can and making the most of my quality time again without the ghost of my working past hanging over me.

Giving It Up

HOLDING ON

Some things are worth fighting for. But other things are just not worth taking to the death. Keeping a hold on something that leaves us with feelings of anger, will cause even more harm as we draw out the healing process. The mind and body are closely linked, and as a result, we manifest the held on to emotions in our bodies. Therefore, if we hold on to the anger, we potentially make ourselves Ill. 

Martin Adams was a fierce campaigner against the IRA. He stood up against terrorists who threatened his family and made multiple attempts on his life. Despite nearly getting killed in shootings and having to hide the identities of his family including young daughters, he has managed to survive through a turbulent period, whilst also standing up for what he believed in and refusing to be bought off or moved on through fear. 

Letting Go

This weekend, I met Martin's daughter, Amy. Ironically, she has just come through a tough period very similar to my own, dealing with an unfair situation at work. 

Amy is a very bright girl and talks highly of her father. Her situation was something that her father was keen to help her fight as the unjust treatment of his daughter touched at the heart of his moral core. Amy initially fought against the company's injustice, but after the best part of a year, she let go of the company and moved on. I was surprised. 

Hearing everything Amy had just said about her father and his courage standing up for what he believed in and against such great adversity. Why did she give in to this much smaller life situation and essentially allow this company to 'win'?

Winner

Amy said to me that she is the winner. How so? Because she now gets to live her life. Every day after she made the decision to sign an agreement not to sue the company, she has felt the anger towards the people who betrayed her, slowly fade. It's like a heavy weight has been lifted from her shoulders and, said Amy 'I wish I'd taken this decision sooner. And that's why you need to let go too'.

Hearing this savvy young girl's advice, I can see she's right. In some spiteful vindictive way, I want to punish the people who are dealing with my dismissal. It's hurting me spiritually as much as them too and on multiple levels, I'm sure. 

This coming week should see some kind of resolution to this current situation I'm in and I will be thinking of Amy's wise words when I choose the right course to take and ultimately let go of this heavy weight on my soul. 

Writing Therapy

PUTTING IT DOWN ON PAPER

According to research discussed by Robert Trivers in his insightful book called The Folly of Fools: The Logic of Deceit and Self-Deception in Human Life, the very act of writing stuff down can help realise change. So if that means making plans for the future or on the flip side writing about traumatic experiences we've suffered - the very act of writing this all down will help to either materialise or purge it.

Apparently, in tests, it was shown that those who had lost their jobs, after 6 months 53% of writers compared to only 18% of non writers had found a new job. One theory is that the anger felt is not displaced on to the new prospective employer and you become more attractive as a potential employee for that company. This theory holds up in all aspects. Try as we might to rid ourselves of the thoughts and fears built up over years - they manifest in several ways throughout our lives. The conscious mind may not detect or can be hiding these hard to remove personality traits. It's at times when we're tired or our conscious mind is dulled through alcohol that we reveal these parts of ourselves that we are trying our best to conceal or contain. Writing them down and facing up to them - then letting them go if destructive, through a symbolic act of deleting, screwing up or burning the paper could also help to free our minds from the torment of past memories.