Battle Fatigue

LOSING THE FIGHT TO WIN THE BATTLE

Too much battling against the world makes us hardened, unfeeling emotionally and unable to appreciate the finer things in life. It numbs our minds, halting the creative thoughts from flowing freely and keeps us in perpetual fight/flight stress mode.

One of my new year's resolutions is to avoid having so many drawn out battles any more. The fight has taken it's toll. I'm weary and apart from the physical manifestations, I find it difficult to fully enjoy what's there in front of me or muster the energy to invest in the pursuits that will enrich myself and others.

We all have our personal battles. There's a constant pressure from work, family duties, relationships, moral duties and internal struggles as we and try to take pleasure from life. Good things are worth fighting for so we need to make this a priority - the rest, we have to assess and let go if it's not worth our using up our energy on.

One such battle that I've fought in 2015, is against a large corporation that has been all-consuming for pretty much the whole year. Has it been worth it? In some regards it has. I have learned so much about myself, the symptoms of stress and how they affect our wellbeing - and the irony is that this teaching has all been through constant battling with this large adversary. I have a lot more to learn, but maybe this has all been a gift for me to now use my newfound knowledge and pass this on to others.

Shell Shock
During the First World War, when trench warfare took the lives of so many in battle, many more soldiers were suffering stress through the constant shelling from above and the threat of being blown up from below. This is when we first head of the term 'Shell Shock'. A lot of soldiers, displaying the symptoms - disorientated and confused, were actually executed by their own because their actions displayed a lack of moral fibre in the superior's view and often thought to be a deliberate tactic for desertion. Interestingly, the soldiers deserting their posts were shown little remorse - but higher ranking officers showing similar stress-related symptoms were often excused as their diagnosis related to a seemingly 'higher, more cerebral and upper class' affliction of the nerves.

This nervous disposition diagnosis has been shown to exist in the highly competitive business environments of the 20th and 21st century, notably among city traders, bankers and professionals working is a mostly sedentary role - but can also be said to afflict any of those working within the monetary system.

Back To Basics
The Japanese have discovered a form of therapy early on in the 20th century that can help rehabilitate those suffering with emotional stress. The process is to remove the sufferer from any stimulation through isolation with only their thoughts to deal with for a week. Following on from that, a programme of only light processes (like writing a blog) are given, to allow the thoughts to flow. After a period of reflection, heavy physical processes are introduced (like garden clearing or chopping wood). Tools on how better to deal with the emotions are introduced throughout and the satisfaction/rewards gained through enduring arduous tasks allows the individual to move forward into the final stages. It is at this point where re-integration into society facilitates the rehabilitated person to partake in regular life again but with the new tools of mindfulness, meditation and pulling on purpose-driven responses as apposed to the emotional ones, that allow greater harmony and internal peace to prevail.

Giving It Up

HOLDING ON

Some things are worth fighting for. But other things are just not worth taking to the death. Keeping a hold on something that leaves us with feelings of anger, will cause even more harm as we draw out the healing process. The mind and body are closely linked, and as a result, we manifest the held on to emotions in our bodies. Therefore, if we hold on to the anger, we potentially make ourselves Ill. 

Martin Adams was a fierce campaigner against the IRA. He stood up against terrorists who threatened his family and made multiple attempts on his life. Despite nearly getting killed in shootings and having to hide the identities of his family including young daughters, he has managed to survive through a turbulent period, whilst also standing up for what he believed in and refusing to be bought off or moved on through fear. 

Letting Go

This weekend, I met Martin's daughter, Amy. Ironically, she has just come through a tough period very similar to my own, dealing with an unfair situation at work. 

Amy is a very bright girl and talks highly of her father. Her situation was something that her father was keen to help her fight as the unjust treatment of his daughter touched at the heart of his moral core. Amy initially fought against the company's injustice, but after the best part of a year, she let go of the company and moved on. I was surprised. 

Hearing everything Amy had just said about her father and his courage standing up for what he believed in and against such great adversity. Why did she give in to this much smaller life situation and essentially allow this company to 'win'?

Winner

Amy said to me that she is the winner. How so? Because she now gets to live her life. Every day after she made the decision to sign an agreement not to sue the company, she has felt the anger towards the people who betrayed her, slowly fade. It's like a heavy weight has been lifted from her shoulders and, said Amy 'I wish I'd taken this decision sooner. And that's why you need to let go too'.

Hearing this savvy young girl's advice, I can see she's right. In some spiteful vindictive way, I want to punish the people who are dealing with my dismissal. It's hurting me spiritually as much as them too and on multiple levels, I'm sure. 

This coming week should see some kind of resolution to this current situation I'm in and I will be thinking of Amy's wise words when I choose the right course to take and ultimately let go of this heavy weight on my soul. 

Unpopularity

STANDING UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE

Every day, I'm looking critically at myself - physically, mentally and spiritually. I look to others for new teachings, learnings and affirmations that I'm on the right path. In the last 6 weeks, I've already made some significant changes to my habits and improved my output. I've identified areas for improvement and I know that it's going to be a daily, ongoing challenge for me to fight back the urges, stop the old habits creeping back in and stay true to my new lifestyle.

It takes courage to face up to our shortcomings, inadequacies and failings. The small tweaks can be achieved in a short time frame but, to evaluate ourselves properly, we need some quality time to address and deal with any deep rooted issues we may have. Firstly, we need to identify the traits and parts of ourselves that could benefit from some attention in order for us to improve - and as we can be blind to our ways, identification of these facets to our personalities often comes from those closest to us. It can be hurtful when criticism comes from others and we have to assess if it's constructive and a benefit to follow it. We're all affected by what other people say and think - and in the quiet pre-dawn hours (and some middle of the night hours), I've been playing conversations over in my mind and analysing what, why and how to respond and act accordingly to criticism. I've looked at different viewpoints and reasoned. I've chided myself, then countered, assessed and set what must be done. The outcome from all this thinking is, when I can see something is right based on sound judgement and logical reasoning - I must stand up for what I believe in - even if it goes against what others believe in and consequently, makes me unpopular.

Boethius wrote a book entitled The Consolation of Philosophy, which was written in a time when he'd lost his wealth, social standing/power and was condemned to prison, awaiting what he knew to be a violent death. He was in this situation because he'd stood up for what he believed was right. He came to terms with his fate and his writings from that time about 'The wheel of Fortune' were considered to be one of the most important texts to be studied from the middle ages right up to the renaissance period - references to his work can be found in lots of important works including modern day books and films too. Although Boethius had fallen out with the powerful while defending his principles. Even with his possessions and freedom taken from him, he still faced his executioners with the one and most important thing remaining in tact - his integrity.

There is another even earlier example of someone famously falling foul to the powers that be. Socrates was an early classical philosopher who stood up for what he thought was right. He also came to a grizzly end because he refused to give in and compromise what he truly believed in. This guy is another great source of inspiration to me - because he questioned assumptions, rhetorical ideas and the establishment, using philosophical reasoning & deeper logical thinking to find truths. 

I've been reading more of Alain De Botton's books lately - and this one entitled: 'The consolations of Philosophy is a great source for learning about the fates of both Boethius and Socrates. There is a six part series of short documentaries based on this book called: Philosophy: A Guide to Happiness, which can be found on Channel 4 - also written and narrated by Alain - they can also be found on Youtube along with Alain's other great short docs like 'Status Anxiety' but you may need a VPN or Zenmate to watch if you are based in the UK due to copyright issues.