Coming Out Of The Shadows

DRAGON POWER

The shadow is our psychic twin - the other side of our personality that sits just below the level of consciousness. Every aspect of our persona - which is in effect the mask we wear to present to others in the social world, may also conceal that of our truest nature.

"Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is, in its deepest being, something helpless that wants help from us." - Rainer Maria Rilke

We put on a face to the world - one that fits within society, and developing our persona to be more flexible, realistic and amenable, aids us to develop, connect and succeed. And, providing we do not contradict nor hide our true self, this will be the most harmonious way to live. Ultimately, the persona develops in accordance with our truest nature AND is in balance within the realms of society.

Be Sure About One Thing...

MAKE IT YOUR WORD

Mean what you do and do what you say. Give the message that you have integrity. If you are true to what you believe and stick to these beliefs, you have more substance than the vast majority of people who cannot stand by their core ideals, let alone morals.

It's tricky staying true to your word. Even without trying, we tend to slip up and unconsciously vocalise something we mean but have no real intention of keeping to. And if we could just listen to ourselves more often, to really think about what we are putting out into the universe, we would take more time to consider the value of what we're talking about. How many times have we spoken up in the spur of the moment, gotten excited or swayed into saying something to others that we cannot stick to? Countless times. All that can be forgiven, but if we can't look someone in the eyes, shake their hand and commit to an agreement, then we have nothing of any true value.

Reaction Formation

OPPOSING FORCES

Understanding why some people have such extreme reactions to situations is the key to uncovering the truth behind where that person may be keeping real feelings in direct conflict with their projected feelings and objectives.

So, for example, if you find that something, someone or a situation makes you angry - take a step back to look at why this has caused such a strong emotional response in you. The reason you've become upset could likely be masking something else that you're either in denial of, deceiving yourself or insecure about. If you can identify these times and try to discover where these feelings conflict with your own, you may learn more about yourself and where you can make greater improvements. The following video explains how these reflections are teachings we can get great benefits from if we tackle them face on.

The Smiling Judas

If you've ever been betrayed by someone and unable to pinpoint where the betrayal came from, you'll maybe experience some overly sympathetic responses from those around you just after the incident. This can often be a key indicator to find those guilty of stabbing you in the back. Because, the smiling, caring display from the first person to console you, are potentially displays of their guilt - because it was they who played the role of Judas. 

The Judas is within us all. It's not just how we treat our friends and colleagues eiher, we betray our true feelings and ultimately ourselves all the time. Knowing why people do the opposite of what they believe in, is an important tool for seeing through self-deceit in ourselves and in others for both personal development and for achieving success in our life.

Reaction Formation is a recognised ego defence mechanism used to protect us when we feel anxious or threatened. These responses are not under our conscious control. It's important to identify these reactions to better know when or why people are being the opposite of what they appear and Dr Neel Burton's book called Hide & Seek will help us to look closely in the mirror to identify what we want and who we really are.

Spreading The Word

THE WORD OF TRUTH

38º is the angle that snowflakes come together to form an avalanche. It's also a metaphor. People coming together to make a change is what democracy is all about. Without the means to make a difference, we turn away. Through media channels like 38degrees.org.uk we can get our opinions heard and protect the nation from being governed or poorly run by our politicians. All it takes is for more people to act and speak up, contact their MEP's and make a stand for their beliefs.

The time now is easier than ever before to make a change. All we have to do is factor-in a small amount of time in our days to read, sign and spread the word to our friends, family and loved ones via social media. Without this, we stand to lose what we hold dear and what defines us as a nation, our freedom as individuals and our rights as human beings.

Why Compromise?

TAKING HALF MEASURES

There's many times when a compromise will be the best scenario for keeping the peace/balance. However, we can't please everyone all the time by finding a middle ground and why should we if nobody gets what they really want? There's no point living by half measures!

My partner and I are pretty well aligned in our goals and have a level of ambition that benefits both in our decisions for achieving results. However, even those in the most harmonious partnerships will have their individual preferences and objectives that don't perfectly align - as will those making collaborations with friends, colleagues and other circles we move in. The fact of the matter is - we can't live meaningful existences if we're always making compromises. We have to play out our lives with integrity, which means being true to ourselves and others about what we want. In a relationship, this can be something as fundamental as making a decision whether or not to have children. It can also be taken down to a micro-level. ie. making decisions on food/drink, sleep, social & time spent doing essential tasks or the things that entertain or benefit us physically/mentally. And, providing we accept that each needs to allow the other to have what makes them happy, we can still be together, aligned to our paths and mutually happy.

Collaboration
Considering the needs of others is essential for success, even for those who act with extreme single-mindedness. Goal seekers/winners and high achievers can alienate themselves by ignoring the needs of others. It can be a lonely place. And without understanding that there are alternative viewpoints, there can be no measure of success. Because, working towards goals needs a reference point to start from. Connecting with others to establish a footing on progress - works either as a springboard for reinforcing one's own resolve, or as a way to present and learn a different and at times equally beneficial or better way for achieving what we all want. So collaboration is essential - as long as the result ensures both have a winning solution at the end.

True & False

TOO TRUE

Every day we learn something that we accepted was true yesterday, is now false. Especially when it comes to food.

Red wine. It was believed we should drink small amounts as it contains antioxidants and could actually be better for us drinking this particular kind of alcohol to prolong life as apposed to being a tee-totaller. It's popped up again recently and there's a reversal on this thinking suggesting it's now NOT something that's good for our health. The odd glass of wine can work wonders after a stressful day or enjoyed with friends.
Butter. Avoid it. Use spreads and olive oil. NOW it turns out - it's all based on flawed research.
Cereals. I grew up on Coco Pops, Shreddies, Corn Flakes, Sultana Bran...cereals oh yeah and white bread. I'm still alive and pretty well? Yet, there's now a real hate campaign on grains. AVOID! I have to say, I'm kinda taken to this one as there's so much negativity surrounding it and haven't touched cereal in a few years now. But, stick to the least processed variety and the ones lowest in sugar and pretty I'm sure it'll be fine.
Bread. Staple of the French, Italians and Europeans. AVOID. I'm only eating decent wholegrain or rye bread occasionally now but really, is it that bad?
Fruit juices. Get your five a day. WRONG. Low in fibre, high in sugars, acid, and calories. Just eat some fruit or make your own juice using fresh fruit and vegetables. Get a decent cold-press juicer.

And the list goes on - here's 7 more foods that have had a reversal.

Thing is - we're being constantly advertised to with deceptive marketing spiel and the media is full of fantastical rubbish designed to get us reading their papers etc. It's no wonder people are so confused what's good and bad for them - and this is just the food. Exercise is now being linked to shortening life and even taking health supplements could increase chances of cancer. What does it all mean? It means stop reading the papers (especially The Daily Mail!), question the information being fed to you via advertising and gossip, make your own investigations, do what you enjoy in moderation and if there's anything that you know makes you feel bad, keep a diary of what you do & eat and asses the results yourself. Over time you'll see/feel the results and know. We're all different and what works for some, doesn't always work for all.

Question 'truths'
I'm now half way through Counter clockwise: mindful health and the power of possibility, written by Ellen Langer. She encourages us to be more mindful and question science, research and results. We are all different and nothing is set in stone, yet, science bases it's results on facts - facts that can not be clear cut if you take into consideration there's so many factors not included in this research that affect everything and everyone, so we need to have 'shades of grey' answers. The consequence of this type of black & white reasoning is that we set our minds to 'facts' and it's this definite inflexible mindset that makes the result and consequently we become inflexible too. Telling ourselves something is bad, can and will end up becoming true if we allow our minds to tell us so.