Not Good Enough

UNDERESTIMATING OURSELVES

Some people have an over-inflated perception of their abilities. They are usually the ones who speak up the most in meetings, talking over the top of others and pushing through ideas not nearly as well thought out as those who are quietly sitting back, often afraid to speak up because they have a lower opinion of their own capabilities.

Impostor Syndrome
This is a common affliction that many women in high-powered positions seem to get, which I'm sure a lot of men also have too, but just don't talk about it as much.

I find myself being more modest than I should be and with some serious time for reflection this year, I can see where my expertise has been tucked away from view - even from myself.

This is very likely why I haven't had enough praise to reinforce the fact that I am bloody good at what I do. Some 'unsung hero' modesty is great for gaining respect as nobody likes the show-off but we all need to advertise/market our worth more if we want all the fame and fortune that it can potentially bring us. There are many well known business leaders and famous personalities out there that are constantly living in fear they will be found out for being a fraud.

There are some clever ways that we can deal with these inner Demons. One method is to speak up about these insecurities, which in turn, will help us take control of these fears of being a fraudster and help us to tackle the crippling self-doubt face on.

Lessening The Memory Of Burden

GETTING THE WORST BIT OVER WITH FIRST

When we're woking on something tough like carrying a heavy load (which I've just been doing in a house move), it works best if we get the heaviest items out of the way first. Once the weight drops down and the boxes become lighter - even though the boxes are still heavy - the feeling of doing something so arduous decreases and we are actually left at the outset, with the memory of a task that wasn't so bad after all.

The Peak End Rule
Finishing on a high or a lesser pain, means we hold on to a positive memory of something, even if it was potentially an arduous or unpleasant experience. The Peak-End Rule explains how our minds work when we go through an experience where the ending is good or better than at the start. It's why every difficult experience should have a treat at the end which was a cold pint of beer in the sun on this occasion!

Staying ahead of the Curve

BELIEVE IN THE WHY

If we wish to follow the truest path in life, we need to identify the reason why we want to take it. Innovators in business have identified where their products have been successful over their competitors, because they have started from the very heart of why they are doing what they do.

A study about Diffusion of Innovations shows us where the greatest achievers move their products through and past the point in the curve where success is realised. In the following video, Simon Sinek identifies where success comes from the heart and by starting with the question 'Why' we choose to do what we do, we can all be more successful in life.

Reaction Formation

OPPOSING FORCES

Understanding why some people have such extreme reactions to situations is the key to uncovering the truth behind where that person may be keeping real feelings in direct conflict with their projected feelings and objectives.

So, for example, if you find that something, someone or a situation makes you angry - take a step back to look at why this has caused such a strong emotional response in you. The reason you've become upset could likely be masking something else that you're either in denial of, deceiving yourself or insecure about. If you can identify these times and try to discover where these feelings conflict with your own, you may learn more about yourself and where you can make greater improvements. The following video explains how these reflections are teachings we can get great benefits from if we tackle them face on.

The Smiling Judas

If you've ever been betrayed by someone and unable to pinpoint where the betrayal came from, you'll maybe experience some overly sympathetic responses from those around you just after the incident. This can often be a key indicator to find those guilty of stabbing you in the back. Because, the smiling, caring display from the first person to console you, are potentially displays of their guilt - because it was they who played the role of Judas. 

The Judas is within us all. It's not just how we treat our friends and colleagues eiher, we betray our true feelings and ultimately ourselves all the time. Knowing why people do the opposite of what they believe in, is an important tool for seeing through self-deceit in ourselves and in others for both personal development and for achieving success in our life.

Reaction Formation is a recognised ego defence mechanism used to protect us when we feel anxious or threatened. These responses are not under our conscious control. It's important to identify these reactions to better know when or why people are being the opposite of what they appear and Dr Neel Burton's book called Hide & Seek will help us to look closely in the mirror to identify what we want and who we really are.

Addicted To F**k It

REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY

A clever way to get someone to do what you want is to use a technique called reverse psychology. This is a clever way to get the unsuspecting other party to take on a task that they perhaps wouldn't have done otherwise. 

This sneaky kind of technique works especially well kids - it also works particularly well on me. I suspect the reason it works so well on me is because, like a child, I don't like being told what to do! So, if someone says 'I bet you can't do...' - there's a high chance that I'll do it. And if someone says 'you're mad if you do that, you're not 25 anymore, you could really hurt yourself' - It makes me want to do it more (Magavalanche is one recent example). 

Thing is, I really don't like being told that I can't do something but even more so, I don't like when others have been conditioned and therefore fearful or miss-informed - and they try and tell me I can't do something. So, time and again I will rebel to show them what can be possible. 

Sometimes, I know what I'm doing is wrong and potentially harmful - yet I do it anyway. It's this phenomena that I have identified as the 'F**k it addiction'. So it's not necessarily the activity or action itself where the enjoyment part is - but the rebellious aspect that I get a buzz from. 

I witnessed this trait in my best friend (us rebel types tend to stick together) last night when talking about the perils of smoking. He wants to get fit and yet he smokes - and has done so for 20 years. There's enough evidence to suggest that smoking can cause illness and also, affects heart & lung function - so best to avoid it if we want to get fit and increase probability of living to 100. Yet, when I mentioned giving up, he used his drinking/smoking nan (97) as an argument in defence of smoking and defiantly pulled another ciggy out of the box. On the packet was a picture of some poor soul with throat cancer and SMOKING KILLS printed in large bold type. If this message is supposed to deter people, it clearly isn't working for my friend. This, I believe is because he's a rebel. And that's why I tend to hang out with smokers - because they are the ones saying F**k it - and this is what they are silently saying every time they smoke!

Clearly, the tobacco companies know that their target market are rebels and although the government thinks this clear warning message is doing the job it needs to do - there's still a lot of smokers out there. 

So, in order to really get the right message across to these rebels, we need some other facts and messages to deter them. Therefore, I suggest we put out a message something like this: 'We get you addicted to the idea that you are being rebellious to make us rich - you are a mug' then smaller underneath - 'Smoking makes your breath and clothes smell, is an expensive habit which means you are a weak pussy if you can't give up. Why not find something else to spend your hard earned cash on....and it may mean you live longer too.' 

I'd be really interested to see one of those packets out there - I really think this truth will hit home a lot harder than the current message that has no impact with deterring my rebel friends. 

Cultural engineering

MASS CONTROL

I'm watching this great BBC series called The Century of the Self (link plays film) focusing on the work of Sigmund Freud, Anna Freud and Edward Bernays which looks at ways corporations and governments have analysed and controlled people - especially citizens of America after the second world war. This eye-opening documentary should be watched by everyone, so they can better understand why they are making decisions of a group mindset to conform and obey. Bernays was a genius at 'public relations' - a phrase he coined in favour of the word 'propaganda' because it's then recent connotations to Hitler's Germany.

After studies conducted on Americans returning from the war, Bernays feared that the public's democratic judgement was not to be relied upon and therefore had to be guided. The rise of having psychiatrists monitor and assess the nation was based on the discoveries that we all have this uncontrollable darker side to us. To stop societal problems from occurring, Bernays learned to swap our primal 'needs' for consumer 'desires' using clever marketing & advertising. His thinking was also on a par with another advocate for swaying cultural opinions and guiding mass culture - Walter Lippman. The techniques used to influence popular opinion and bring about a culture of consumers are in use today, greatly enhanced for modern times - and still effective for keeping equilibrium in society.

The manipulation of the Americans (and everyone else in the world) reminds me of a favourite horror film by John Carpenter - They Live - you can watch the whole film from below link.