Selfless Acts

EMPATHY

Unselfish altruistic acts are undertaken when we have genuine concern for another's wellbeing. These selfless acts, where we are seemingly willing to put our necks on the line to help make another's life, are said to be hard-wired into our make-up. But, even a seemingly selfless action, could still be used for self gain in one way or other.

George Price was on a quest to find true Altruism. He found all kinds of arguments for why people do kind acts, but discovered to his dismay after conclusive research, that there is no true act of altruism (other than those remarkable actions taken by the Carnegie Heros perhaps?). He fought against his own calculations/research which pointed to the fact we have selfish interests at heart and embarked on a mission to do as much unselfish work to disprove his own theory.

He went out of his way to be a better human being, even offering up his own home to homeless, alcoholic and in some cases, violent individuals. These people all took advantage of his generosity and kindness, which he was aware of, but also happy to be disproving his theory at the same time. He continued until eventually, himself living on the streets, penniless and depressed, he took his own life.

Kindness
Price's suicide wasn't necessarily the result of his failure to prove that true altruism existed. He was suffering with Cancer and his refusal to take medicine would have been in part to blame for the ensuing depression. If true unselfish acts are really boiled down to genetic mathematics, then we must live up to the fact that helping others is for our own benefit. But having thoughts for other's wellbeing and acts of kindness undertaken for benefiting others, will be mutually rewarding and therefore, something we should all aim to experience more, if we are to have a well-balanced and healthy mindset. The act of giving is the greatest gift we give ourselves.

Job Satisfaction

WE CAN'T GET NO...

Satisfaction in the work place. Job love is beyond reach for the majority of us these days. Work hard, play hard is the old saying. You put the effort in at your job and enjoy the benefits the money brings you doing all the things you like in your free time. And if the work was fun and rewarding too, it was an added bonus. Unfortunately in the modern workplace, a lot of the fun has been sucked out, the 'work hard play hard' saying has been replaced with 'work harder for less money or we'll find someone else'. We are left with little time and energy to play with and worn out at the end of another long day and week to really enjoy what little is left anyway.

To thrive in a job, we need motivation in order for us to put the effort and time in. You'd think it would be money that increases motivation, but it's not. Having a rewarding job means we receive appreciation and recognition for doing something well as a number one factor - money comes way down the list.

The top 10 factors are:1 Appreciation for your work
2 Good relationships with colleagues
3 Good work-life balance
4 Good relationships with superiors
5 Company’s financial stability
6 Learning and career development
7 Job security
8 Attractive fixed salary
9 Interesting job content
10 Company values

Discovery

DOORSTOP ADVENTURES

To keep our adventurous spirit alive, we have to daily seek out new experiences. Fresh perspectives on life will be found as we discover new horizons and we needn't board a plane to do this. 

There's so much adventure to be experienced from right here on our doorsteps and it often only takes a slight deviation from the path to stumble upon some amazing discoveries. We have only a limited time on this planet and yet, so many of us repeat the same old routines day in and day out, never looking to try something new.

There's a rich and rewarding world out there just waiting for us to discover it. New sights, sounds, tastes to sample and interesting people to meet. Some of this can be found just around the next corner. We just need to start off our day with an inquisitive mind and a realisation that so much can be discovered if we are open for adventure. 

Continue Onwards

PUSH THROUGH FOR BIGGER REWARDS

I've been feeling a little below par the last couple of days. I've been having some fun - so maybe the focus has dropped a little... Truth be told, the previous couple of weekends have been a little boozy, so I'm a tad run down, tired and struggling to find motivation. My resolve is at a low ebb when it needs to be strong. Now is a key time for me to step up working towards something new and great. The last 6 months have all been in the right direction for me to do this and there's still a lot more work to do if I'm going to get there. It's just that the goals, which are temporarily out of sight, don't feel within my grasp at this moment in time. But, I know in my heart, that they will be again once I turn the next corner and if I choose to stay on this right path.

Looking this morning at great feats others have achieved in their lives, I've stumbled across another apt post from James Clear - someone who's been writing a blog consistently for 2 years and who's become somewhat of an inspiration for me (and many others). Yet again, his writing has come at the perfect time to help nudge me on when I could so easily have downed tools this morning and allowed my goals to slip.

When Success Is Just Around The Next Corner
It's great having someone to nudge us on/motivate us - but we can do this ourselves too. We just need to remind ourselves of why continuing onwards will bring the solutions and this can easily be achieved by simply revisiting a time of where we've had our previous successes.

I've just been thinking back to the past moments when I've pushed through in times of doubt. And there's been quite a few instances jumping to mind where I've convinced myself and others to keep going that bit further. So many people in this situation don't make it. they don't push on nd don't have the success to fall back on and remind them. Just knowing I can be in that other small group that do push on - spurs me on every time to attempt success. It's funny how it always seems so hard to do at the time yet so insignificant looking back after the event has finished. And it's also worth remembering that it's always those extra pushes past the comfort zone that make for the best rewards.

Challenge Signifies A Reward
I've just realised that this moment in time is the greatest moment to be in! Already, my mood has lifted, because I know how it feels to go on when your mind or others tell you to stop or turn back. I've been here before. It's amazing how much sweeter the successes feels pushing on to the end when you falsely believe you can't go on any further. It's that last little bit between being an almost made it - to the person that's crossing the finish line, where the greatest benefits are found in everything we do. We all potentially have the strength to apply ourselves that extra bit, to make that last push towards the goal which is out of sight, but so close and just around the next corner.

Holidays Abroad

SUNSHINE STRESS-BUSTER

Travelling abroad for some sunshine this weekend, the plan was to have a relaxing 4-5 day break to return refreshed and ready for what the world throws at me. Today, I'm back: tired, bloated and a little pink. So apart from the vitamin D, what good has a trip abroad really given me? Let's take a look at the pros and cons...

Pros

- Time with partner

- Exploring somewhere new

- Reading books

- Getting my skin in the sunshine

- Laying around not doing very much

- Feeling warm

- Basking in sunshine

- Looking at a picturesque coastline

- Swimming in warm pool and sea

- Eating mediterranean food

- Drinking cheaper alcohol

Cons

- Early 3am start for flight

- Extra cost of transport to and from airport 

- Airport stressful environment 

- Stress of people 

- Stress of baggage
- Stress of security

- Expense of air travel

- Time spent travelling

- Hot and sweaty
- Hotel bed too soft/too hard

- Sun creams cost and application

- Mediterranean food fried, greasy

- Cost of eating out a lot

- Over-endulgence with alcohol

If we properly look at the pros and cons for taking a short trip away to a foreign country - on the negative side, it's actually quite unsettling, stressful and expensive. Plus, a lot of time is spent travelling squashed in a plane, coach, train or queueing up with tired, stressed people. Often, these other poor souls who have also chosen to 'get away' for a relaxing break are being shepherded along, laden with their heavy bags and/or whiney kids, trying to keep up the appearance of a happy family. Not a relaxing scenario at all - and that's just the bit getting there.

Having an environment to not do very much when you do arrive at your destination, means a lot of money is spent eating and drinking to fill the time. So, summing all this up, I'd say a day trip from home could be just as rewarding in terms of exploring somewhere new and without a lot of the stresses experienced when flying - potentially far more relaxing, especially if one sleeps in their own bed at the end of the day. I've never really looked at a holiday in these terms before - but the reality of it does bring into question why so many people take these trips. Not to say going somewhere like the Balearics, where the aqua blue sea is warm and the sun shines in a clear blue sky seemingly every day, isn't wonderful - because it is, but just that a few days spent at home could positively be much better for us if relaxation is the key.

Free Stuff

FREE BENEFITS

Loyalty card points, coupons, air miles, money back schemes, price matching savings - complimentary nuts at the bar. These are all little life perks - 'gifts', that elicit a warm feeling of being good or on the right path. And having this good fortune coupled with a bonus of some sort, can represent our reward for being hard working, decent, loyal or whatever we place significance on for receiving this free token.

It's amazing how much happiness a free coffee can bring some folk. Hence why Prêt a Manger, Starbucks, Nero's and other major coffee shops are implementing this as part of their loyalty marketing schemes. It's because it really does work. We feel better about ourselves, our day, our change of fortune and ultimately our life. Even picking up something so seemingly insignificant as a penny can still make you feel lucky.

Searching out the little deals, freebies and rewards - no matter how small, will make us happy in much bigger ways than the actual small change that the savings represent. Being given something for nothing, upgraded to premium, getting an extra portion, two-for-one offer or buy one and get one free - these all make us happy winners and ultimately, this is what counts in life. 

Weekend Get Aways

THE PEAK DISTRICT

Being in a major city like London, you have so much entertainment right on the doorstep. Theatre, film, culture and of course great pubs, restaurants and bars to meet with friends and have some fun. However, we have other great places of natural beauty also just on our doorstep. The Peak District can be reached by rail or car and is just a short 3hr journey away. There's great things to do like horse riding, hiking, cycling and nature watching.

The area also has some great pubs with local beers and hearty meals - and what better way to enjoy a pint after a full day's excursion walking or cycling the famous trails around the area than stopping at The Lady Bower Inn which is where we are today after completing a 28mile Ladybower loop on our mountain bikes.

The extra reward at the end of the trail was seeing the sun setting over Derwent Dam, which had a kind of other-worldly glow and gave the illusion of a floating reservoir of water and submersed castle at it's edge. After a heavy 4 hour exertion cycling up and down steep and rocky hills, the pint in the sun at the end was all the more sweeter and my 'fix' for taking on an adventure like this - new places and sites to explore, gave me a satisfaction that a workout in the gym can never compete with and a reminder to get away more at the weekends.

Take Action

MAKE IT HAPPEN

Having knowledge and doing nothing with it is the same as having no knowledge at all. You have to apply what's been learned and do something useful with it to make it a benefit.

It's so easy to get everything we need. All the info and he tools are out there to be learned in schools, researched in libraries and gained in every way imaginable online. There's a lot to wade through though before getting the answers - you can't just take what you first read as 'gospel'. There's a lot of different opinions and ways of doing things and you have to find what works for you.

To get the best out of our learnings, we still have to filter out what's good and bad information and take the best advice from those around us that have learned and had success from their experiences. It takes time, will power and effort to source/digest information, assess/trial and learn what works for us. Unfortunately, we're pretty lazy if we allow ourselves to be. Discipline has to be instilled in us in the same way a child has to be shown right and wrong and a pet has to be trained. Without our parents or school teaches around it's up to us to be the role models and disciplinarians. We have to keep tabs on ourselves and take action. 

Rewards
It's really important that we treat ourselves when we've put in the hard work. If something is really hard to do and arduous to keep doing - chances are we'll give up if there's easier more fun things to do instead. Take regular assessments of your progress and set manageable milestones where you can check your progress. Think of it like a game - and that way it will be more fun.

If you're on a special diet, set a target with a reward at the end. Make it something special, one of the treats overindulged on like chocolate - but try and make the treat the best it can be. There are loads of great new raw chocolate, organic, vegan, high in anti-oxidants chocolate brands out there which are a better alternative to the high in sugar, processed varieties. I'm allowing myself to eat special raw chocolate snacks only once a week - on a Saturday night and it's helped cut out all cravings in the week now I have a goal.

Porter Steps

TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THE BIG GOALS

On first reading, this statement may seem a little odd. Hear me out first, with a little story....

I remembered when I got my first proper job (some time ago now) and how I used to write down all the things I wanted to buy with my hard earned cash. Little things mostly but important to me at the time. Aahh, how much simpler life was back then! I started off by making a list, then working out how much I could save over time and how many pay cheques it would take to get these things. I realised that I could get the first thing on my list - those Nike Air max - sooner, if I made some changes to how I spent money through implementing improvements in my routine. Things like making my own sandwiches every day, cutting out buying snacks and alcohol and maybe doing the odd job on the side. I had no credit card back then or overdraft - in fact, ATM's weren't so readily available either, so no access to quick cash either. The only option was to earn the money and plan out my goals for when I could spend it. 

This first item on the list wasn't particularly life-changing but something special that I'd really wanted since getting my job. Sticking to a routine day after day for a month had still been tough but I'd managed to acquire my new shoes with the money from my first pay cheque - it was a real boost in confidence. This method worked because I knew what my goal was and what I had to do for a month. It felt like a special achievement and very gratifying when I rewarded myself. After pay day, I could have gone back to the old routine but I'd made a wish-list and some of these items were going to take a lot more than a month to get. 

The next month was a lot easier to stick to because I'd gotten used to the routine of making my own food for lunch - I also started to focus on improving the lunches, mixing it up a bit. So the second month flew by and I bought my Leather Filofax (I actually may dig my old one out again!). This was the place I could write my lists in, organise my schedule and write down the goal dates in my diary.

The 3rd, 4th, 5th & 6th months were all rewarding in small but significant ways. Rewarding in stuff I'd bought myself, but also as I'd discovered newer ways to save and make money, became a master at sandwich making and saw great changes in my health, wealth & productivity. And after 9 months of putting away £100, I reached my big goal and bought myself a second hand Korg-M1 Keyboard - acquired 6 months quicker than I'd originally planned. It was (and still is) the very same keyboard that my favourite band, Depeche Mode used in producing their songs! These keyboards cost £1500 new - more than double what my salary was back then in 1992 and not something I thought I could afford on the money I was being paid. 

The moral of this story can be summed up like this:

- Make goals: big and small

- Make realistic time-lines

- Work out a routine

- Start working on what's in front of you right now: ie. the smaller goals

- Reward yourself regularly: it'll make the tasks more enjoyable

- Regularly assess what you need to get to the next goal

- Keep your focus on what's immediately ahead: the small incremental stuff

- The big goals will come sooner than you think 

Another story springs to mind when we walked the Inca trail. 88km over 4 days of walking 6-8 hours a day up and down steps through mountain passes. The going was fairly tough and some of us who were suffering stomach cramps and not adjusting to the altitude well, were not having a great time. But when we climbed the sun gate at 5am on the morning of the 4th day and saw the sunrise over the temple ruins at Machu Piccu - the reason for taking the arduous pilgrimage became clear. I'll never forget the feeling and this memory will always be there to remind me - namely, that doing the things which are the hardest, will give us the greatest rewards. 

27,000+ Porter Steps

When we do something tough - it's based on our perspectives, measured by comparisons to what we've accomplished before. Life can feel like an up-hill struggle but we're all capable of so much more than we think we are. The impossible is being made possible all the time (check out these climbers on El Capitan for a reminder). The thing with making big goals, is that we get caught up with how difficult they seem from the perspective we hold at the time. Doing the inca trail was tough at the time, but I've had far tougher challenges since - because my measures have changed as my perspectives have changed. The porters on the Inca trail walk those thousands of steps day after day, week after week - some with the weight of a person on their backs and wearing shoes made of car tires! Others run the inca trail in under a day. If we keep giving ourselves challenges, we can all reach our goals.....one step at a time.

Final note and acknowledgement:

I try not to just copy and paste but I do keep referencing from blogs, insights and wisdom gained from others. It's because they've taught me, re-affirmed what I already knew plus inspired, encouraged and reminded me to keep on the path I've chosen since since starting Jan 1st 2015. I'm putting the effort in and using the learnings to embark on a steady rise UP on my new chosen path rather than down. If I haven't done so already, I will pass on and continue to show my gratitude to these teachers.

You should find the following links (and many more great blog posts held on their sites) useful.

This is what James Clear clarifies about marginal gains referencing the British Olympic Team & British Tour de France winners and he makes a good point on setting schedules which are tougher to stick to than goals.