STAY CALM
It's perfectly natural to be nervous before and during a test, especially when we are being watched in a practical exam. It's very easy to get worked up and distracted with the extra pressure of directly and so critically being assessed by someone over your shoulder. Feeling the examiner's gaze whilst picking up on their incessant scribbles, which could either mean success or failure, will definitely play on the nerves.
The thing with these types of exams where you are one on one with an examiner, success often boils down to how the other person is feeling at that particular moment as much as to how well you are performing. If they are hungry, tired or having a particularly bad day, the chances are they will be reflecting this on you and ultimately your grade could suffer unless you act a certain way that differs their negativity away from you.
The Invisible Man
The important thing in these situations is to make yourself the 'grey' man. That means, trying not to be that person who is singled out as the trouble maker, the cocky, over-confident or arrogant type that needs to be taken down a peg or two. Unfortunately, when you catch an examiner on a bad day, even the usual niceties can rub someone up the wrong way, so it's best to say and do as little as possible to avoid bringing unwarranted attention on oneself before or during an exam. Otherwise, a few curt words from the examiner and the result could be that your performance will be compromised as your nerves kick in to upset what would should have been a grade A, potentially bringing it down to a C or even worse, a fail grade.
We all have pressure on us to perform. Having enough pressure on us is a necessity if we want to reach our goals. We need it or we fail to achieve. Too much pressure and we break down. I've seen first hand how hard it can be to recover from having too much pressure applied over long periods and I'm just a regular guy, living a life like most other people. So it's looking at the immense weight that is put on our sports stars and music/film celebrities that's really highlighted how excessive pressure can affect us and how difficult that must be to deal with.
Criticism and Humiliation
Watching the beautifully crafted new films about Paul Gascoigne and Kurt Cobain - we see how self-destructive our most revered talented and driven people can be - especially when exposed to the media and the wider world to see warts and all. One thing I've drawn from this is how fragile the ego is. My partner and I see it in ourselves from time to time - a lower self-esteem. And whether we are under the spotlight from others or having internal inquisitions, we all still have these torments to face up to.
Our image is what we hold firmly on to for identifying with who we are. It's very fragile. Having confidence in our 'self', in our abilities and focussing on strengthening that 'image' is key for personal growth. If we rely on searching elsewhere for acceptance and appreciation, we risk placing the power in the hands of others. Even if they are our friends, family and loved ones. Because, at low points and without self-acceptance, it's the love from others that restores our confidence and identity, when self-compassion needs to come from within. And without having this shallow projection of 'self' re-affirmed, we lose track of it and what we believe we are.
This was certainly true of Kurt Cobain. Rejection and lack of appreciation or acceptance of his intensely creative talents coming from his family, contributed to a mindset that became destructive the more his image and identity was left to the critics and press to tear at. As the pressure mounted, the weakened Cobain turned towards a way out.
Great talents are nurtured in those driven to achieve success, through the right type of pressure. Sometimes this pressure, if mis-directed, becomes too much to withstand and can derail those without strong self-control and compassion from a positive path, to addiction and self destruction. How do some manage better than others to keep their heads?
Touched by the hand of God
Maradona, touched with a real talent for playing football, a crafty intelligence and charisma for dealing with the media, has somehow managed to keep his sanity and health, although being publicly disgraced for drug addiction and cheating. Under immense pressure at periods throughout his career, he never really had the assistance of management or a publicist like today's stars do, yet through all the negative publicity, press and widely seen footage from his darkest days, he has managed to recover from life-threatening addictions and lives a happy family life today - whilst still being revered as one of the greatest players in footballing history and widely recognised for scoring the greatest World Cup goal in 1986. Even strongly confronted with the fact that he cheated England with a hand-ball to score a game-changing goal - he still has no remorse and actually takes pride in his actions. He obviously has very strong self-belief. This I find amazing - as looking back at Paul Gascoigne in Italia World Cup 1990 at a period in English football when the pressure and dreams of success came to a sad end in the Semi-final penalty shoot out with Germany, you can see where this result weighed heavy on the nation's football stars - and very likely, the nation as a whole, even to this day.
I'm not really what you'd call a typical football fan - yet I still get emotional watching (and re-living) the games from the World Cup and the moment when 'the nation so nearly succeeded'. Incredible, the value placed on the outcome from this sporting event and the stars themselves.
In the years that followed, the pressure from the British media, injuries sustained and alcohol self-abuse that Paul endured (and still battles with), have taken him on a dark path. And watching accounts from other successful sports stars like Mike Tyson and George Best - all falling prey to addiction and lost identities - it's revealing to see how important self belief is for protecting ourselves from outside influences and just how damaging our inner demons can be if we don't take control of them.
Self belief for success
Taking action for bolstering our self-esteem, self-confidence and towards creating a tougher shell to better deflect unwanted criticism plus building a virtual volume control switch for muting that destructive inner voice, will make us stronger and more capable for dealing with those down days. It's amazing how something so small can linger in our minds and sub-consciously chip away at our confidence. Practising techniques like those mentioned by Leo Babauta in the link above or some of the helpful others mentioned here in this informative post, can help us to be strong.
The power of knowledge
Something I use daily, for increasing my power of self belief - is to focus on learning. Researching, reading, comparing what I've learned to what I believe as a way to either confirm or re-affirm what I already know or to glean something insightful and empowering anew and add this to my knowledge banks. This increases confidence. I accept my weaknesses and try to learn how I can improve on them. Writing down my learnings and affirmations every day - and using these to refer against, helps me to realise what I have at my disposal and keeps me focussed on increasing my potential and therefore my self-confidence for being better at dealing with pressure.
