Quirky Cool

BE UNIQUE

Image is something we portray to the rest of the world. It's gets us attention - good or bad - and it's important to have one if we want to be remembered.

Dennis Rodman is an example of someone being very out-there with his look. Madonna obviously had a massive influence on him back in his rookie days when he took her advice 'image is everything' to new levels by stepping up on his wardrobe and body art transformations. 

So many of us are just trying to fit in. Many tend to go for very plain and uninteresting/non-fashion clothing/hair styles - that signals to others that they have little to offer with their creativity and maybe their personalities too. Others will follow a trend that appears to be adorned by the fashionably cool trendsetters of which they want to be associated with - to better help bolster their own unimaginative image presence and cover up for any insecurities they may have.

One such trend at the moment is to wear new jeans with a purpose made rip in the knees. I've seen it everywhere over the last year and it's now become so prevalent that I find it really hard to believe so many would want to be seen to be like sheep following a trend that has really become so untrendy. 

It's odd that just having a couple of rips in jeans, no matter what the variation is, can be all that's needed to make someone feel like they are making a statement or adversely, easily fitting in to an established trend. It was Malcolm Gladwell in his book 'The Tipping Point', that highlighted the phenomena of having the masses who pick up on trends after the Maverns and early adopters have taken something unique and quirky which then becomes mainstream. This rip trend, which re-surfaces from time to time - has surely long surpassed the stages of the early adopters and yet shows no signs of waning...

We can't all be be trend-setters but we can still be different in our own unique way to avoid being lost as the herd. This is why having a constant assessment on ones image is essential if we wish to remain out-there as one of the truly inspirational and quirky-cool mavericks. 

Standing Up For Yourself

BEAT THE BULLIES

Bullying is ugly and it happens more than you realise. You'll probably think back to that bigger kid at school as the last time you felt it but it comes in many forms. It can be from groups of people, your boss, government agencies, even people closest to you like your parents/children or husband/wife. It's really not nice when you are on the receiving end and if left un-challenged, can really wear you down and destroy your self-esteem/confidence to the point of no return. Bullies favour the weaker push-over, so to win - you have to stand up to them.

My First Time
I was quite popular at junior school. It was a decent school and I got on with pretty much everyone that I can remember. There were the odd occasions where I'd had to stand up to a bit of abuse but it was usually handled by a teacher and never amounted to much. It was only when I attended senior (secondary) school that the real bullying took place. It was evident that the differences in backgrounds from the many kids - some of them from tough areas of London, were able to handle a lot more abuse than the soft-skinned types like myself. When you're a 13 year old boy, you're going through a lot of changes physically, mentally & emotionally. One minute you're playing on your BMX bike - then suddenly, you're faced with making decisions for making the switch from boy to man.

My switch happened almost overnight. I'd been a studious kid and my grades were good, so I sat with the other kids that were willing to learn. This put me on the receiving end of some unwanted attention from the back of the class, from some of the kids that were known to be bullies. Suddenly, I was in the cross fire of one particular boy, aptly named Damien. He used to punch, trip, kick, spit on and generally hassle myself and the other bookie/studious types. Coming from a family of five older brothers and being about six months older, meant he was a lot tougher and bigger. One day, he'd been particularly savage with his antics and the 'camel back-breaking' moment came after a cowardly punch in my kidneys. I'll never forget the feeling as I turned, grabbed him by the throat, pushed him over a desk and punched him in the eye in front of the whole class. While I don't condone violence - this was likely the only retort to work with this abusive kid. He was so shocked that I'd retaliated with such force, that he took ages to register what had happened. Once he'd come back to his senses and witnessed everyone looking on, he regained some composure and threatened to 'kill' me. But as I stared back at him, looking squarely in his newly blackened eye, I could already see, his power over me had gone.

Standing Tall
If we do nothing to stand up to our bullies, they will take over our lives. They will drain your power and erase your self-confidence. From the day after facing my fear of standing up to the bully, my stature changed. I grew. I became respected. I became powerful and the bully shrank away. He lost his influence to stike fear in others and ended up being one of the bullied himself. I hope he finally addressed his insecurities and grew strong again, learning from his experience and using his new powers to help rather than hinder others going forward.

Career Off Track
I now find I'm in a similar situation with a career change looming. I'm fearful of the future but excited for what it may bring. I'm holding in my core that feeling I had when I turned to face my demon and will relish the power I'll have after tackling it face-on.

Setting Social Standards

TAKING THE PLUNGE

Today, I'm taking some bold steps out into the world. I'm opening myself up - sharing my content and baring all to see. This is not something I've felt comfortable with before.

I'm a private person and never been a big fan of social sharing platforms - ie. Facebook. There, I've said it. Yes, I confess there's a bit of a mistrust issue at the heart of this statement. I'm sure there's a lot of us out there. I couldn't really see the point of it other than for filling time while waiting for a bus. I also just don't trust it - or myself to use it. I have more productive ways to use my time! Maybe it says something about the type of person I am - or likely this is more of a global phenomena. See the links at the end to get a perspective from younger and older social media perspectives...

I have a handful of close friends that I regularly see and speak to directly and none of these were my friends on Facebook. I realised that my relationship with Facebook was feeding a paranoia I was holding against social media in general and it was stopping me from using it and any of the other alternatives properly. I believe this mistrust underlies something else that I'm masking, which I intend to find out over time.

The internet is a bit of a mess. Let's face it, there's so much going on out there - it's amazing and overwhelming at the same time. There's stuff to make you joyful, struggle to fight back tears or just plain angry - all in the space of minutes! It has the power to move us in many ways. It can make or break your mood/day. So, we need to set limits for its time & usage – I found this nice article this morning on the subject.

Praise where it's due
How many people spend their valuable hours preparing insights into learned life-lessons and blindly sharing them with the world - never receiving any praise for what they've given us? A lot of people I reckon. I'm a big fan of the unsung, faceless hero. I like doing things this way too - giving anonymously. But it's also such a lift, when someone tells you you're amazing - when you've unknowingly helped or done something to inspire others - performed a selfless act or just been doing what you normally do. Your mum is one of those people. When was the last time you contacted her to say how amazing she is? Watch her face light up when you tell her from the heart. Selfless givers or grateful receivers - we can all be be those people.

The web is a place where everyone has a chance to give & teach & inspire others. We're all connected and our actions affect everything and everybody around us. So, name calling, blaming and belittling - it all impacts on us. Every time I read a negative comment/review on someone else's website - whatever it is they've done, good or bad, I'm left feeling for the person that's been hit-up with negativity. It's not even my product, service, story etc. yet I'm affected by it - I feel it. If people were more accountable and took some time to think about the consequences of their words/actions - we'd have a much better society. We know this. We just need to remind ourselves more often.

I'm discovering cool, informative, inspiring stuff and learning so much, every day. I focus on the positive and turn away from the negative. I've made a list of the people that have inspired me - and I'm in the process now of thanking each one of them individually, for passing on their story. I believe there's a moral duty to pass this information on too, hence why I'm overcoming my Facebook and social media phobia.

Moral integrity
The web has a collective of good and bad out there. Everything and anything you could want to find - is there. Diving in and swimming around in the ever-changing virtual world, is like joining a school of fish. It's exciting being a part of this phenomena. I found myself on Reddit for a bit of time yesterday - another place to get lost in for hours at a time, but another great tool for an inspiration fix. I discovered this article about a pizza delivery guy getting a payout, which highlights what can happen when the web gets up on it's moral high ground. Possibly a bit extreme donating $20k but I'd really like to see more of this kind of integrity. People standing up for what they believe in - big brothers/sisters, looking out for the little guy and being able to stop all this unnecessary spiteful and negative abuse (that's exactly what it is).

Be accountable
Be genuine, honest and decent. Give back. Be charitable and good things will come back to you.
I've taken the plunge and come what may, I'll roll with the punches if they come. I also stumbled upon this guy today - James Clear: he's posting some great content for free! And this particular article touches on today's subject - being in the public forum and dealing with haters & critics.
I'll refrain from being negative in posts and strive to maintain my moral integrity going forward.

For any of my bloggs, posts, pages, comments, pictures etc. I can be found at #ffc #ffc2015 #focusforchange @focusforchange On twitter, facebook, google+, tumblr and medium

Heres what the kids and the old fogeys are saying - great articles.