Me-Time

TIME FOR REFLECTION

Unless we have the luxury of living in a log cabin in the remotes of some place like the northern territories of Canada, where there's no other humans for 100's of miles - there's little chance of having complete solitude. I say luxury, because I like being alone at times, and dream of having a Wallter White cabin to hide in, away from other influences and distractions. That's one of the main reasons why I love the 5am starts. Not many other people are conscious at this time and I get the chance to be in isolation, with complete silence from the world around me. There's an opportunity to write down all the things that are important. I get to look inwards, reflect on the day before, plan the day ahead and essentially indulge in a bit of me-time. It is proving to be really important for setting my daily moods. And this is because I take three quality hours all to myself before the day takes over - essential time to take control over my own mind.

Negativity aversion
The other day, cycling to work, there was a small incident with another cyclist. The lights were red and as I squeezed through a gap, a guy in front hopped the back of his bike round, sticking his back wheel in my path, just in the split second before I intended to glide past. It was unavoidable that I make contact. A slow and light collision, but the other rider was still clicked-in to his pedals, so he nearly fell to the floor as his bike leaned over to one side! Luckily he managed to free his foot in time, but it was a close call. The initial shock/embarrassment and consequent reaction from him, was to angrily address the other person, me. Normally, I'd have taken offence at being addressed this way and responded in a similarly angry fashion. There'd have likely been a bit of name calling and this could have escalated into a physical argument. I see a lot of this on the roads - especially in the mornings. However, in an instant, I had a series of quick adjustments in my mind and something remarkable happened. I managed to calmly reason with the guy like I imagine Gandhi would. I kept the primative part of my brain out of the mix, placated his angry chimp brain and appealed to his logical & rational mind. There was a civil responsibility to apologise on my part and the other cyclist apologised for his part in the incident too. We both left the scene with a smile and a laugh! The negative angry thoughts that are usually left with us after a moment like this, bubbling away & poisoning our thoughts - sometimes for the whole day...just evaporated!

Taming your inner chimp
There's been some great stuff written about mastering your mind/thoughts - and one of the books I read recently on the subject called The Chimp Paradox - has a really good understanding of the processes our brains go through. It basically tells us that the primitive and emotional 'chimp'  part of our brain, is the first part to react in situations like I've mentioned above. And without the other parts of our brain - in particular, the newer human and rational part, addressing the chimp and keeping it from running our thoughts, we're at the mercy of this wild animal!

Don't be a loser
I've found that my emotional chimp brain has been in charge far too much of late. And even if there's no manifestation to violence in these chimp-run scenarios, the negative emotional thoughts have remained and bounced around my brain for ages afterwards. A wise man says, 'If something or someone makes you angry, you are the loser'....so it's best not to allow the negative emotional side of the brain to take charge. The trouble is, being able to sit oneself down and metaphorically look yourself in the eye and understand what is going on, is not really possible unless you have regular meetings with yourself to keep a check on things. Interestingly, in a successfully run business there are regular 'comms' meetings to check status quo and progress - but how often do we do that with ourselves?

Coffee mornings
It's gotta be up there with one of the best decisions I've made to date.
I now have a daily reminder set up in my diary - a meeting with myself over coffee every morning at 5am to check-in, re-evaluate and praise the good work I've been doing.