Do As I Do

OR DO AS I SAY

People like to go their own way. They may seem to be taking valuable advice, but still not heed it. They don't want to do things my or your way. They would sooner do it their own way - even if it's wrong. They can't trust the fact that we may have had a beneficial learning experience and therefore in a better position to pass that knowledge on. But this is nothing unusual. Trust is a valuable commodity that has to be earned and the art of convincing takes time to learn.

Youngsters, it seems, are know-it-alls by 25. They have little focus and constantly flit around. This is because they can. They're young. They have the luxury of having time on their side to learn from mistakes. But being older doesn't necessarily mean being any the wiser either. Many older people are holding on to the errors made in their earlier years and have become stuck in their ways - stubborn and inflexible to change. They stick to what they know even when it's clearly not paying dividends.

Generally, I'm a lone wolf rather than a team player. I don't blindly take other people's advice, but I do try to find the best way of accomplishing things by following another's advice. I tend to go with what I know best, but ultimately, it's my way or the high way a lot of the time. So it follows that for a lot of the time, I'm alone on my highway. This is a shame, because I believe I've made some marked success in what I do. But it's not always the easy or the conformed way of doing things, so many prefer to take their own conventional route rather than risk relying on me. And it's this questioning of my competence, ability and expertise that I find frustrating. It wears me down and hence why I'm often doing things my own way. There's only so much effort we can put in to convince others to join our way of thinking. But, because I'd really like to give something back to the human race, I'm going to require some patience in order to learn how to best convince others.

Conviction At Work

It takes a multitude of communications skills to win people over. Without these skills, we can fail to convince others of our wants, desires and needs. It's something I've only had a small amount of success with in the past and often been a struggle for me working in the studio as a designer. I will put my best efforts creating something I'm happy with, only to find someone heavily opinionated (not necessarily talented or right), making changes for no real significant gain, possibly compromising the design/idea and/or taking the credit/shirking the blame in the process. They essentially are masters of communication, confidence and conviction. Creative work is always subjective and everyone considers themselves to be a qualified designer or creative on some level. Being a designer, photographer or a writer - the same applies for these professions too. Until you get the credibility, you'll always have to battle to get your opinions heard. We'll never escape the critics and disbelievers - nobody ever does, but through learning the skills of communication to convince others - we'll be heard more of the time.

Training someone for fitness is also just as hard, as people really don't want to listen to the dietary advice or commit to the sessions. The results aren't immediate enough for them and they are quick to give up following our advice. Hence, this is another role where I've become coarse talking on deaf ears. But, at the end of the day, it's because we all think we know best.

Remember The Mentors

There are always going to be others with more experience and skill than us. We need to know who these people are and when to listen to them. I have spent almost a year investigating better ways to improve myself. These newfound ideas are not my own, I have learned them from others. They are easy to discover on your own, but why not look at someone who has discovered them already? My skills for convincing you to believe in me are currently lacking. I will write a book in 2016. I'll give it my best shot and pour my heart & soul into it. I've never written a book before and it might not be any good. But without my powers of communication and confidence, how will my discovered and shared ideas be followed and appreciated?

Humility & Confidence
So it pays to take advice from someone who really knows what they are doing. But we don't like information being force fed to us. Without having some humility - the art of being humble - we could be seen as too arrogant or self-obsessed. Being able to recognise the value, opinions and guidance from a teacher/elder & wiser person - that's the only time when I do as others say. So, we all need to better learn how to give the time, respect, to listen & learn from others, in order to learn how we can make these improvements in ourselves for passing on our own teachings.

Getting What You Want

POSITIVE IN - POSITIVE OUT

Ever really taken notice of what being upbeat can do to your day? You possibly just take it as a bit of a surprise when asked how your day went. 'It went well', you'd say cheerily, without another thought - when on other not so good days, you'd maybe block out thinking about it at all, because it just didn't go well. Sometimes, on a regular day, good things can tend to go your way for no apparent reason. You haven't done anything different but it just seems a better day.

There's lots of factors that can affect your mood, but there's a trick to ensure a higher percentage of your days go well. It's pretty simple - you just tell yourself before going to sleep - 'Tomorrow is going to be a great day' and you'll wake up with that mindset. And if you feel good, and put that smile out there to face the word, you'll have an upbeat impact on others. Good feelings & positivity will be contagious and you'll receive back smiles with whoever you show them to. It reminds me of a stunt I saw a year or so ago. Here's the video:

Sleep And Eat Well
You get up early after a restful night's sleep. You eat a nutritious breakfast, watch, read, listen to some inspirational stuff. Before you leave the confines of your home, you take a minute or two to look out the window where you see a clear sky and the first orange glow of a sunrise on the horizon. There's a new playlist on your iPhone, and a book to read. You smile at people as you navigate the public transport system. You get a seat. You're unfazed when the packed train is delayed - you're early anyway. Throughout the day, your smile gets you a free coffee, a good table and a premium service at the restaurant. Later in the afternoon, helpful customer service advisers go above and beyond to make a usually tedious banking and mobile services call effortless. A colleague thanks you for helping out and you get a small gift from them. You have a productive and rewarding day working and return home to a happy house, because you've bought and made dinner. You plan your fun for the weekend - something new. Sleep comes easy. It's just a normal day and it's been a good one because you've done something called: 'getting out on the right side of bed'.

Practice Positivity
Last night, I watched some of The Secret on Netflix and had a read of my partner's book called Magic - both are by Rhonda Byrne. From my understanding, The Secret pretty much talks about the rules of attraction and Magic about the practice of getting things you want by thinking positively.

These books/film are a reminder that if you put out positive thoughts, you'll get positive results back. If you focus on the negative - you're already talking yourself out of getting a positive outcome. If these books work for you, great - use whatever it takes to be a more positive person and others will want you around and to be around you!

I particularly like the message these books contain about being thankful & grateful. Not sure about being reliant on getting rich by visualising money - sure, it can happen seemingly by magic, but you can't beat a bit of commitment and hard work to be truly successful. Writing a self-help book sure seems to be a good formula for attracting money though, but nobody likes a cynic, so I'm going to do the magic gratitude exercise and stick a cheque on the wall tonight.

Another book worth reading (or listening to) about being successful is Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers - if you're going to visualise success as part of your daily magic exercises, it makes sense to understand that it usually takes a lot of hard work over time to get there. His other books are worth a read (or listen too on iTunes or audible etc.). I will definitely listen to these again.

Essential Rules For Attraction 
To get on in life, you need to be reliable and decent in thoughts/action.
To make friends and be respected, always acknowledge others and ask how they're feeling. Know that we are all equal. Give compliments and allow opinions. Look people squarely in the eyes, remember names & shake their hands firmly.

I couldn't resist putting some quotes on here. On being decent: these wise words from Wilson Mizner
'Be nice to people on your way up - because you'll meet need them on your way down'

On quick success, Mizner also wisely said:
"Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished."

And also this one about slealing quotes:
"If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research."

More from Wilson Mizner here

And just to make sure I'm not plagiarising Mizner's work and actually researching - here's another wise quote:
"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi