The Difinitive Rules For Engagement

THE HANDSHAKE

As a guy, I find it easy to make friends, diffuse a tricky situation, form allegiances on business and secure a partnership or deal, all with an old established bond of trust. One given by extending the handshake.

This brief touch of the hands is said to originate as a gesture to show no weapons in the hand but also as a first contact, releases a bonding hormone called Oxytocin. I generally go for the firm but not too crushing type and look the other person squarely in the eyes and smile. Nothing too fancy (like these OTT ones from Buzzfeed), familiar or overbearing, but a human bonding and clear sign of trust. This same method applies to both men and women and this show of equality across the sexes has gotten me some good results. It's a greatly under-valued communicative tool for everything. Just make sure you're giving the right impression when shaking as there's many ways to get it wrong!

Recognising Equality
It's the other simple factor for getting the rules of engagement right. I've already covered this subject somewhat in a previous post but I'll go over it again here, as the importance of engaging with someone, recognising their space and presence...and being sympathetic to their requirements and needs, will instantly break down barriers. So important in new situations and practiced by business leaders and ambassadors the world over (clearly more work needed by UK Prime Minister, David Cameron in video FAIL above). We are all equals at the end of the day and remembering this little fact when we want to get somewhere, something or have a situation go in our favour, in order to come out the other side winning - is often all we need. And all can be obtained through applying very little effort.

Coupled with a handshake and a smile, doors will open and opportunities will present themselves. Think of it as a subtle form of 'charm'. You may not have the 'razzle-dazzle' of a charmer and you may come off as a little bit underwhelming at first, but provided you have the time and engagement skills to show a little more charm thereafter, you'll be perceived as a solid and reliable person that can be warmed to - rather than a promising early encounter with a hollow core...